Beneath Beams of Cedar

Suffering, Pt. 1

2011-06-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

Here is the first post in... a few anyway, that I wrote on suffering. The Legend of Thousand Hills Farm

As I have been contemplating suffering and trials, I have also been thinking about how they pertain to us as wives. I believe that we have the influence within our home to make or break our family when it comes to times of suffering.

Wives and Mamas are often referred to as the thermostats within the home. And how we act or react to situations often dictates how our children will react as well as our husbands. If Mama (or Wife, if there are no children in the home), handles trials with trust and faith in God, her children are going to be much less likely to fret and worry, and she is going to be building her husband up during these times instead of beating him down.

Whatever trial we happen to be walking through ~ deployment of a military spouse, the illness of a child, or perhaps the death of a child, unemployment or under-employment ~ we have a choice to make. Are we going to look at our circumstances and become a miserable, naggy wife, difficult to live with and always finding fault; or are we going to look above our circumstances to our Father God, who is our provider, protector and shield. Are we going to find joy in our circumstances, reasons to praise God within those circumstances, and be a boon and source of hope for our family, our husband in particular?

Because it's something that we are dealing with right now, I want to address the unemployment issue. Sometimes it's not total unemployment, but there is only part-time or seasonal work to be had. My Beloved has been out of work ~ a good, steady job ~ for about 2 1/2 years now. During that time, we have been blessed with 2 pregnancies (I am currently due with baby #11 in October). My last pregnancy was with a baby who has a very rare and extremely severe heart defect. We had a house payment to make, bills to pay, and last spring, while our youngest was recovering from open heart surgery, our house burned and we lost almost all our possessions. And, my husband had no job.

Men are created by God to work. It is within their DNA to be a provider. Being out of work is very difficult for them. It hits their ego hard (and I'm talking ego in a good sense/not in thinking too highly of themselves). My Beloved is a man with a good reputation within the community. He has a great work ethic, and always gives his job everything. He is one of those people who can learn to do just about anything, and do it well. He has a pretty good looking resume as well. And yet, like so many others, he cannot get hired. It seems he is either too qualified or not qualified enough. No one is willing to accept that he just wants a job to provide for his family or they are not willing to put in the minimal time it would take to train him to do the job.

When a man is used to going out every day and working to provide for his family, to go out time and again and be turned down for work...it defeats him. So, what do we do as wives? It is easy for us to be consumed by the bills laying unpaid...or at least overdue. To be worried about where the house payment is coming from, or how we will afford groceries. In that worry, it's easy to nag. To tear him down. Make him feel like he's not trying hard enough, or that he never does anything right.

Sometimes, we have the best of intentions, but our words become a stick to beat our husband with. We can easily cause him to become dejected and depressed.

What a sad place for a woman of God to be. And, if you honestly look at yourself and find yourself there, I hope that you will repent. Ask God for forgiveness and ask your husband to forgive you as well. That kind of behavior reveals a deep-seated idol of control in our heart. We want to control the situation, we don't trust that our husband is doing his best, and worst of all, we are not trusting God to be sovereign and provide.

I am thankful that my husband will tell me when I get this way. I don't like to hear it! But, it also breaks my heart when I know that I am falling so short of my desire to be a godly woman and wife.

Our job is to be our husband's cheerleader. To be the one person who he can always count on to truthfully build him up. To make him feel like a man. A *safe haven*.

Proverbs 31 says: "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life...Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." v. 11-12, 25-26

Are you doing good to your husband? I am not talking about making sure his laundry is clean and dinner's on the table. I'm talking about your attitude and your mouth. Are you tearing him down ~ either to his face or behind his back ~ or are you building him up ~ both to his face and behind his back. You are one with this man that God has joined you to. He needs your honor and respect just as much as you need his love. And you know what? Scripture says that it is to be unconditional...just like his love for you is to be unconditional. Are you honoring him, or are you despising him? My heart breaks for men who do not have respect from their wives. And it's very difficult to think well of a woman, no matter how good a person she may be, if she is disrespectful of her husband.

Ultimately it is a lack of trust in God. Do we truly believe that God will provide? If not, then I guess I can see how you would nag your husband and fuss at him about getting a good job. But, something that I have come to realize...rather quickly into this journey of unemployment, is that it is much like trying to conceive a baby. You can do all you can do, but if God doesn't make it happen....it's not going to. A man can apply, he can put his best foot forward, he can interview well, he can have all the right qualifications, but he cannot make someone hire him. Only God can open that door in His timing. We need to trust God. We need to believe Him when He says that He will provide. Will it look just like we think it should? Likely not. But, we have seen Him miraculously provide for us over and over these past 2 years. Even when our husband is working, it is still God who provides. So, trust God, and be your husband's best cheerleader. It will be an incredible blessing to him, during a very difficult time, and it will only improve your marriage and family life.

Is Church Membership Biblical?

2011-05-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

Here is another 'installment' in my 'What is the church series.' :-) This is an excellent article by Pastor Matt Chandler. Hope you enjoy it, and that it gives you either food for thought or Biblical proof for your stance.

Is Church Membership Biblical? Just click on the link to read the article.

Bride of Christ or Cheap Whore?

2011-02-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

I don't know if this really falls into the 'Godly marriage' category, but it definitely falls onto the rabbit trail that I warned you would happen when I first started this blog! :-) I posted....goodness, I think in November! about 'what is the church?' This is a continuation of that, and I imagine there will be at least one more post in this "series".

Many years ago, we had a situation in our church. It was necessary to implement church discipline. Our church had never done that before (at least it had be a very loooong time since it had), and it didn't go so well. The person being brought under discipline basically threw their membership in our faces and walked away, and several other members left as well ~ believing that discipline was not the 'loving' thing to do.

So, this created in my mind a question as to the validity of church membership. It had obviously made no difference in that situation, so what difference *did* it make? If someone is committed to a body of believers, then they are committed whether or not there is a piece of paper stating it to be so, and if they decide they are not going to be, then that piece of paper makes no difference. Right? Of course, that kind of sounds like an argument that couples who live together but won't marry use. We're committed to each other whether or not there is a piece of paper saying we are. Right...whatever...

And then there is the argument that there isn't a command in Scripture to have church membership. So, there isn't a "Thou shalt be a registered member of a church". Does that mean that church membership isn't a Biblical principle? And often, not always, but often, the people that use these "excuses" to not hold a church membership end up being church hoppers. They come into a body, stay a while; until the pastor isn't meeting their expectations, or until someone offends them, or tries to hold them accountable, or until they get bored, or whatever, and then they move on to a different church where they stay until a similar scenario happens and then they move on yet again.

I think to really address the issue we have to look at the God we serve. The God who happens to be the Creator of the Universe, the Giver of Life, the Foundation of the Church. The One who gave His Son to die for His bride, the church. What is God like? Is He fickle in His relationships? Is He committed? Is He a loner, or does He live in community?

God is a God of community. As the Bible opens with the book of Genesis, we see Him creating the world and everything within it. He creates man and says that it is not good that man is alone, so He creates woman to be man's companion and helpmeet. But God is not satisfied with that, He also spends time each day, in the cool of the evening, walking with man in the garden. This is a God that values relationship. We continually see broken relationship as punishment. When Cain kills Abel, he becomes an outcast ~ God does protect his life, but He is still left to be a wanderer. When Moses kills the Egyptian, he must flee everything, everyone he knows. And on through to the New Testament, where we are told to put those believer's in unrepentant sin out of fellowship.

God is faithful and true. If you are one of His chosen children, there is nothing you can do to cause Him to stop loving you or stop being faithful to you. How should this aspect of His character affect how we treat the church?

We also know that our God is covenantal. He shows His commitment to relationships by covenanting. He makes covenants with Abram, Noah and Moses, and through the blood of Christ, He has made a covenant with all believers. God *commits* in a very real, tangible way to those He chooses, to those He will be faithful to, to those He loves. I believe that our church membership mirrors this characteristic of God. No, there isn't a 'thou shalt' when it comes to church membership, but what would God do? What does He do? He doesn't just leave it up to emotions and want to's to be involved. He commits.

I have already referred to the church as the Bride of Christ. We know that. It's in scripture. But are we treating her that way? A few years ago, at the home discipleship conference we attend, one of the speakers talked about the church and our attitude toward her. He talked about the church being Christ's bride, and how that should affect our attitude toward our local body of believers. We need to look at the church ~ local and universal and see the Bride that Christ *died* for. If she is worth His life, should we treat her so flippantly and disrespectfully? It really impacted me, and likely was the beginning of this set of posts.

Watching various people in our lives who move from one church body to another, not for any real, valid reason ~ such as heresy being preached from the pulpit, or sins being ignored, etc., but for preferences or offenses, or whatever...it makes me think on how it affects the body of believers, what does it do to the body to have these non-committed people just moving in and out of our midst? How does it affect their children? What are they learning ~ not how to faithful. What are they taking in about the church?

Is the church the Bride of Christ, or a Cheap Whore? How do you treat her? She *is* the Bride, so if you aren't treating her like that, how disrespectful is it to her Groom, our Lord Jesus Christ?

Better than a Hallelujah

2011-01-11T14:10:00.000-08:00

I am preparing to sing this song for church this coming Sunday. I have spent a fair amount of time not only working on the song, but thinking about the words. I had no idea until I looked at it on YouTube that there were people who believe this to be a totally unbiblical message. I disagree, and will share more after the song.

Why would a mother's tears, a drunkard's cry, a soldier's plea....why would any of these ever be better than a Hallelujah? It has to do with brokenness and surrender. I think that those things are better than a Hallelujah because they *are* a hallelujah. They are not a word of worship, they are an act of worship. I have been a Mama shedding tears in the night ~ have you? They were tears of fear, of acknowledgment of my inability to handle the situation, tears of pleading, and some of them have been tears of gratefulness and thanksgiving...all acts of worship.

"For though the Lord is high, He regards the lowly, but the haughty He knows from afar." Psalm 138:6

"Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished." Proverbs 16:5

"For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." Mark 7:21-23

I wonder what the stench of our self-sufficiency is to God's nostrils. We live in a society that takes pride in 'pulling one's self up by your bootstraps', and being a loner, and 'I can do it'. But it all smacks of just that...pride. Pride is something that God hates. He wants us to ackowledge and live like we can't do it without Him ~ 'cause guess what? We can't.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

I hear people say it all the time, and it is my most despised saying, "God won't give you more than you can handle." Really? Says who? And, what makes you think you can handle breathing? I think this is said in very well-intentioned ways, but I believe it is a lie straight from the mouth of Satan. I don't know about you, but I have been in many circumstances in my life that I couldn't handle. Moments before our 7th child and 5th son was born, God called him home to heaven. Trust me, I couldn't handle that. I can remember frantically pleading for his life, begging God not to require that of me. But He did. I have sat by my newborn's bedside, watching machines breath for him, and having to think about surgical options or "comfort care" to let him die. Trust me, I couldn't handle that. If I really believed that God wouldn't give me more than I could handle, I would have to conclude that God really doesn't know me (or care), or that I am an epic fail. However, God does give us more than we can handle. It is in those circumstances that we run to Him and rely fully on His strength to get us through. It is those times that bring us to a true and pure form of worship ~ recognizing that it is God alone. God alone who guides, God alone who saves, God alone who gives strength. It is all God.

"But I call to God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and He hears my voice." Psalm 55:16-17

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?" Psalm 56:3-4

"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" Psalm 56:8

God loves it when we run to Him and lay our burdens at His feet. He cares ~ someday you will forget the tears you cried, but God won't. He keeps an accounting of every tear. When we come before Him and admit that we are incapable of handling what we are walking through, He will rescue. Because it is in that admission and in turning to Him that we seek Him and His strength for the journey we are on.

God loves you, God wants to draw you nearer to Himself, God wants to be your strength ~ a very ready help in time of trouble ("God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1). And you admitting that you can't do it, that you need Him...well, I guess I don't know if it's better than a hallelujah, but I believe it *is* a hallelujah.

A Quick Note...

2010-11-29T08:58:00.000-08:00

To let you know that I have not forgotten about my post on the church. I have some research I need to do...slowed down by the loss of my concordance! And, at the moment I am swamped with trying to get our content insurance figured out from out house fire. That must take priority at the moment, but when I come up for air, I will get my post on the church written. :-)

May you each have a blessed Advent season!

What Is the Church?

2010-11-13T08:03:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about the church lately. I am working on a blog post about it now. But first, I want to know...if someone on the street were to ask you, what would you say the church is? Please feel free to leave a comment.

Join Me In Worship

2010-08-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying, please join in with me! Take the time to comment and let's worship together.

Adoration, worship, praise...our God is holy and worthy. I was listening to the radio a few weeks ago, and the person they were talking to talked about starting our time with God in praise. She challenged listeners to spend 20 minutes in worship. One of the "tools" that she gave was to take the alphabet and praise God for a character quality that begins with each letter.

I sat down the other morning, before coming into the hospital (and although I didn't take 20 minutes), I did try to come up with at least one character quality for each letter. I just went off the top of my head, I did not pull out my Bible and really do any looking, so for some of the letters I don't have anything, and I may have missed some very obvious ones ~ I am just a little scattered mentally at this point.

Please feel free to comment and add character qualities of God that are different from mine, or share how a particular character quality has touched you or drawn you closer to God.

A- Almighty, Awesome
B- Beside me
C- Constant, Comforter, Counselor
D- Diety
E- Everlasting, Exalted
F- Faithful
G- Great, Gracious
H- Holy
I-
J- Just
K- Kind
L- Loving
M-
N- Never ending
O- Omnicient, Omnipresent
P- Present, Powerful
Q-
R- Rock
S- Steady, Sovereign
T- True
U- Understanding
V-
W- Wonderful
X-
Y-
Z-

There is my incomplete list. Even at that, what a great and awesome God we serve! I look forward to reading what character qualities that you have come up with.

A Day at Home

2010-08-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

Today I get to be home. :-) This is getting to be a rare occurrence. It seems as though my days are filled with being gone, and I have come to cherish time spent at home. Although Jethro is almost 6 months old, I still have not really found a rhythm yet here at home because we have been gone so much. My plan is to think and pray about how the days need to flow while we are in the hospital next week. And then, when we are home once again to implement whatever I have come up with.

Yesterday was spent in town. Jethro's INR needed to be drawn and we needed to do some shopping for the house. Today my Beloved is down at the farm, working on the house, and I finally have what I need to get some raspberry jam made. I bought jars and pectin last week, but have not had any cheesecloth ~ which apparently is now a difficult commodity to find! I ended up buying game bags to use because I couldn't locate just plain ol' cheesecloth.

The rental where we are living has ~~a nice~~ an overgrown raspberry patch, that in spite of itself is blessing us with beautiful berries. So, I have been overtaken by the jam bug! The girls are now in the process of washing dishes and tidying the kitchen so that we can proceed.

Today I believe supper will be ham. I bought a lovely ham on Sunday, but lost track of time, so we didn't eat it. It should be big enough to provide at least 2 meals for us, possibly more. So, supper shall be ham, potatoes ~ I may just boil them, but perhaps I will broil them with butter, garlic, oregano, basil, pepper and seasoned salt, fried onion and zucchini, and green salad. A good dinner for my men folk who will have been working hard today.

A Quiet Heart: Trusting in God's Sovereignty

2010-08-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

This morning, as I read "Keep A Quiet Heart", I was struck by this quote:

"All of the past, I believe, is a part of God's story of each child of His - a mystery of love and sovereignty, written before the foundation of the world, never a hindrance to the task He has designed for us, but rather the very preparation suited to our particular personality's need.

"How can that be?" ask those whose heritage has not been a godly one as mine was, whose lives have not been peaceful. "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter" (Proverbs 25:2, NIV). God conceals much that we do not need to know, yet we do know that He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out. When does this begin? Does the Shepherd overlook anything that the sheep need?" Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart (emphasis, mine)

I take much comfort in the sovereignty of God. I believe that it is one of His characteristics that can do much for His children to have a quiet heart. No matter what comes my way, I know that it has all passed through the hands of my loving Heavenly Father. That doesn't mean that it's easy to walk through, that it doesn't cause me much pain or sorrow, but it does mean that I can take comfort that whatever it is ~ affliction or joy, my Father has chosen it for me. I don't walk through life with random things happening to me.

I read something recently that caused me to once again realize and give thanks for my views on God's sovereignty. It was from a mom whose child has some very serious health problems. She was fretting over going on vacation (with the child), and had checked out the local hospital and printed out medical histories, etc. She then went on to say how she lives in fear every day of something bad happening to her little one. She cries every day. She basically lives her life in sorrow ~ losing out on the joy of the blessing of her child.

It made me so thankful to be walking the path of "heart mom" as a child of God. A child sure of the sovereignty of her Father. There have been times of grieving that he won't ever be "healthy" or "whole", mostly before he was born, but certainly since then I have had times of being knocked off keel. But, for the most part, I am able to peacefully walk through all of it. I know that God is in control. I know that He loves Jethro far more than I do, and that He is watching over him. I know that God's "got Jethro's six." It doesn't mean that I am not concerned and that I don't diligently watch over him, but it does mean that I am not consumed with worry and sorrow over him and his heart condition.

This applies to other areas of our lives. As I watch my children grow, I pray for them. I pray that God will keep them safe, I pray that He will bless their endeavors, I pray that He will enable them to make good decisions, I pray for their future mates, etc. I hope and pray the best for them. I do my best to teach them and show by example how to live a godly life (though I often fail). However, in the end (or maybe beginning!), I have to turn them over to God. I have to trust that if they are going down a path that I think looks all wrong, that it is part of God's sovereign plan for their life, and that He will use whatever it is to bring glory to Himself.

I have had the privilege of listening to some amazing testimonies by young adults this summer. Some of them only 14 or 16 years old. It would break your heart. Such heartache and pain for ones so young. So much garbage in their lives. Some brought on by decisions they have made, some brought on by decisions of others. And yet, they are living for and loving the Lord. What looks like horrible, nasty, stinky garbage, drew them closer to their Father and gave them a passion for Him that they likely would not have had otherwise. Only God can do that. Only God can take the ugly and make it beautiful. Only God can take the worthless and give it the highest value. He *will* do it...will you trust Him?

I don't know where you're at today, what you are struggling with, or rejoicing over, but I challenge you to take it all to the feet of Jesus and trust Him. Look into His face and walk forward with a quiet heart.

A Simple Life, A Quiet Heart

2010-07-30T08:35:00.000-07:00

Wow! It' been quite a while since I posted here. I apologize. Our life has been crazy since Jethro was born. Rebuilding has begun on our house, so I have been shopping...looking for light fixtures, doors, faucets, cabinets, windows, etc. If you would like to see how God has provided for us so far, please feel free to check out my family blog . That is also where I update on Jethro.

I have been longing for a simplified, less hurried life (wonder why???), and yet it would seem at this point in my life, God is saying, "No." We have to make the trip into Spokane at least once a week, sometimes more often, Jethro has been hospitalized at least a half a dozen times, had surgery to place a g-tube, been scheduled for heart surgery, had heart surgery postponed due to a cold, and now we are awaiting a firm date for the surgery again. In the midst of that, 2 of the boys were on a local mission trip, camp happened for two of the children (which did tend to bring a bit more quiet to our home!), 2 of the boys have moved out, we've had 3 birthdays, and driver's ed. And did I mention we're building a house?!?!

So, I believe that God is wanting me to learn how to have a quiet heart in the midst of all of this. And it is something I have been contemplating a lot lately. Last week, at the thrift store, I picked up an Elisabeth Elliot book entitled, "Keep A Quiet Heart". I just began it this morning, and wonder of wonders, it appears to be *just* what God has been speaking to my heart about! Not surprising. He usually works that way in my life...I'll probably start hearing stuff on the radio too, and someone else will bring it up in conversation, etc... :-)

I am hoping to share with you here some of the insights that I am gleaning. Obviously, I've done a terrible job keeping anything going here, but I will try to do better. I know we will have at least one hospitalization this month, so I should get some blogging done.

I would like to share a bit of the first chapter from this book, a bit that was just confirmation to me that I need to have a quiet heart in the midst of my circumstances. If you are in a season when you can't cut things out of your life, but long for a quiet spirit, a spirit of contentment ~ take heart! I believe it is possible, just a little more difficult when surrounded by chaos.

"Jesus slept on a pillow in the midst of a raging storm. How could He? The terrified disciples, sure that the next wave would send them straight to the bottom, shook Him awake with rebuke. How could He be so careless of their fate?

He could because He slept in the calm assurance that His Father was in control. His was a quiet heart. We see Him move serenely through all the events of His life - when He was reviled, He did not revile in return. When He knew that He would suffer many things and be killed in Jerusalem, He never deviated from His course. He had set His face like flint. He sat at supper with one who would deny Him and another who would betray Him, yet He was able to eat with them, willing even to wash their feet. Jesus in the unbroken intimacy of His Father's love, kept a quiet heart." Elisabeth Elliot, Keep A Quiet Heart 1995

Do I have that kind of trust and reliance on God? In some areas, but not woven throughout my entire life. But it is what I long for.

Come, join me at the feet of Jesus as I seek to learn what it is to have a quiet heart.

Quick Update

2010-05-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry that I have been so absent! I have things I want to blog about, but there is not a lot of time these days, and now we have dial-up :-(, so I try to be careful about the amount of time I spend on the computer ~ not a bad thing!

We have been out of the hospital for almost a month. Jethro is doing well, we have a small pharmacy in our house now, and I think I may be on my way to being a nurse, but we are adjusting. We go to Dr.s appts (scheduled) every other week, but have seen our Dr.s about once a week since getting out. We spent one afternoon back at the hospital, but the Dr. ended up releasing us, so we didn't spend the entire weekend, which is what we had expected. We are so thankful that the Lord has blessed us in this way. When they discharged us, they told us to expect to be back...it just works that way with heart babies.

On St. Patrick's Day, our house burned. This is not the phone call you want to get when you are in the hospital with a baby in the PICU following open heart surgery! However, God is so good! Because we were in the hospital, none of the children were home, and we did not have to worry about anyone being hurt. We lost some precious things, but in the end, they are just that...things. And it was so much easier to put into perspective the loss of a house when we were/are dealing with life and death issues with Jethro. Please don't misunderstand ~ losing the house and our possessions is still not an easy thing, but I believe that if it was the only thing we were dealing with it would be much more devastating. As always, God's timing is perfect, and I praise Him for the ability to see that.

So, for the time being, we are in a rental ~ a house I have wanted to live in since I was a little girl ~ and waiting to see what the insurance is going to do. We will rebuild, it's just a wait and see game at this point. If you are so inclined, we would appreciate prayers for the insurance company to work quickly and for wisdom for us in how best to proceed with a rebuild. There are so many options, but we may not have a lot to rebuild with, and we need a fairly sizable house with the number of us that there is.

So, that is the Cliff Note version of what's going on. Thank you to those of you who continue to come and read. At some point, I will get back to posting on a more regular basis.

Announcing...

2010-03-07T13:03:00.001-08:00

Jethro Storms Dole
February 26 via emergency c-sec
9lb 1oz, 22" long

Jethro was born with a congenital heart defect (CHD) known as Ebstein's Abnormality of the Tricuspid Valve, and Pulmonary Atresia. Ebstein's is a rare defect, only affecting 1 in every 210,000 babies. To make things even more difficult, Jethro was born with a severe form of it.

At this moment, I am writing from his room in the NICU where he was born. We are praying for stability as he is scheduled for surgery in the morning to begin the process of turning his heart into a 2 chamber organ instead of 4 chambered. Tomorrow will be the first of 3 surgeries performed over the next 3 years. It is open heart, so carries a fair amount of risk, but without the surgery, his condition is incompatible with life ~ not something a Mama wants to hear concerning her child.

I have been fairly absent here, and hope to rectify that, but I honestly don't know when I'll be able to.

If you are interested in keeping up with Jethro and what's going on, you can check out our family blog, The Legend of Thousand Hills Farm , or, if you are on Facebook some friends/family have set up a group for him that you can join. It's Jethro Storms Dole.

We appreciate your prayers.

Living Set Apart and Holy

2009-12-29T11:06:00.000-08:00

If you follow our family blog, you may have already read this. However, I wanted to post it here as well, because I have some thoughts that I want to share about how this applies to living out our lives as godly wives. This was written by my oldest son, Will, who is 19. After reading it, I asked him if I could share it, and he graciously gave his consent. I hope to post my thoughts on this in the next few days. Here now, is Will's post:

So this is mostly just writing to myself...but honestly most of what I write is. I comprehend and process better if I have to put things into words. So I shall attempt to share the lesson God has been teaching me of late. The subject is holiness.

We shall start with our premise that we, by nature, are sinners condemned to hell. We are condemned to hell because God is holy and perfect and cannot tolerate sin. But because in addition to His holiness and justice, God is also loving and merciful, He offers His son Jesus, as a sacrifice for our sin, and faith in the redeeming work of Christ is the only way to heaven. Once we have by faith accepted that covering for our sin, we are promised a place in heaven. And we are called to be saints...which is where the fun begins...

Like I said, this is something that I have struggled a lot with lately. Mostly because I love my sin. Sin is quite often fun. I mean, some of it isn't, and then there are consequences you have to deal with afterward...but let's be honest, if there wasn't some enjoyable quality to most sin, wouldn't everyone be perfect? And so, I have been trying to walk sideways on the slippery slope of sinning whilst trying to maintain my relationship with Christ. Some people call this walking the fence, but I like the slope analogy better, just because it makes it obvious that it will all lead in one direction. But back to the point. I have really felt God calling me into ministry (not sure what capacity yet, we shall see), and so I've been trying to study more and really grow in Him. And interestingly enough, all at once, He has sent influences from every side, whether it be sermons, to sermons I listen to online, to Bible study, to casual conversations...and it keeps boiling down to one thing. We must live holy, set apart lives for Christ. Which is a hard concept for me, but here's what I've been learning.

As I've been hammered with this subject I have found it interesting the large number of different passages that directly address the issue. Let's go over a few of my favorites...
Ephesians 1:4-"just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love..." He chose us before the foundation of the world. To be holy. To be without blame. Wow. I don't know about you, but this makes me feel two big things right off the bat-1)How amazing that the God of the universe cares enough about me that before the foundations of our very planet were laid He picked me out to be one of His chosen holy. What an amazing privilege. 2)What a huge responsibility. God went to the trouble of making me, calling me to be like Him, and all I can muster is some half-hearted attempt to be better than the Jones' down the street. How pathetic I am. But despite how much of a loser I am, there is hope. And we will get to that in a bit, but first let's look more into holiness.

Ephesians 4:20-24-"But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." This one is quite interesting to me, because a slight rabbit trail that my brain has been taking with this is the whole idea of "being true to yourself". Everywhere we turn that's what talked about, our entire culture is built upon being yourself and doing what you want. Well I want to propose something here. That the concept of, "being you" is both undesirable and unbiblical. "You" (and me, and anyone walking this earth) are a sinner. Our hearts are corrupt and deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), beyond repair. We in ourselves, have nothing. There is no good, no commendable qualities to pursue. But there is a second part to that verse in Ephesians, which closely parallels a more familiar Romans passage...

Romans 12:1,2-" I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." God doesn't just sit there and tell us how bad we are, but He'll save us anyway. No, he says, yes I saved you from that. I have called you out of the pit and into light-now turn from your wicked ways! Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This blows my mind, people always talk about how Christianity is a set of rules, just ties you down...it's the exact opposite! Jesus offers ultimate freedom, freedom from ourselves. Freedom from the bondage that is sin.

Romans 6:14-"For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace." God pulls us out of sin and allows us to choose life, and choose to follow him. How freeing is that?

My point in all of this is to say that God has called us, as men and women of His, to a higher standard. This isn't just for Pastors, youth leaders, or "spiritual" people. This is everyone who calls themselves a Christian. This world needs change, people. This world needs hope. And that is only going to come through the Gospel, and we will only be effective in spreading that if we are living the life that He has called us to live. Holy. Set apart. Saints of God.

Will Dole copyright 2009

I apologize

2009-12-23T00:37:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry that I have not been posting here. I do want to finish Ruth, and there are some other things that I have been pondering. However, we have found out that the baby I am carrying has a serious congenital heart defect, and much of my time has been spent going to Dr. appointments. And most of my blogging time has been spent on our family blog, where I am updating on the baby. If you are interested in keeping up with what is going on with our son's heart, go to The Legend of Thousand Hills Farm .

I do not plan on abandoning this blog! I just don't know how much time I'm going to have to write here. The baby is due in late February, and then we will be spending time in the NICU. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated. For specific prayer requests, you can check out our family blog.

Thank you for your patience!

Holidays

2009-11-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

I just added a button on the left from the Old Schoolhouse magazine. They are generously giving away an almost 200 page e-book! It has wonderful ideas for Thanksgiving and Christmas ~ crafts, food, color pages for the children ~ even calender pages for November and December to help you keep the Holiday Chaos under control! :-)

It's a beautiful, full-color e-book. So, download one today and enjoy your holidays!

Ruth Chapter 3

2009-10-29T06:47:00.000-07:00

Finally, we are back to Ruth! One of the reasons it has taken me so long to post on Ch. 3, is because I'm not really sure what to say. :-) I find myself reading it, longing for that kind of relationship, but not knowing how to get there.

Ruth trusts the people in her life. On a deeper level, I believe that she trusts God to lead her through the people in her life. When Naomi shares with her the custom of going and laying at a man's (Boaz's) feet, she doesn't argue or question her, she just does it. She trusts her mother-in-law to guide her in doing what is right and appropriate. When Boaz gives her instruction, she doesn't argue or question him either, she just does it. She trusts him to do what is right and good.

The other thing that really struck me in chapter 3, is that although Ruth's actions are bold, she is not. When she goes to the threshing floor, she goes softly, she quietly uncovers his feet and lies down ~ Boaz doesn't even know she's there until the middle of the night. Once he discovers her, he once again commends her character and blesses her.

As a wife, what I take away from chapter 3 is that I need to trust God. My relationship with my Heavenly Father needs to be such that I know Him well enough to know that He is trustworthy. I can trust my Beloved to lead me in paths of righteousness, because I can trust my God to lead me through my Beloved. This is something that I have 'known' for several years, but have had a hard time putting into practice. Over the last couple of years, God has shown me again and again, that even when I can't see it, He is leading through my Beloved. My job is to trust and follow. Not easy for someone as headstrong as I tend to be. But so necessary if I truly want to be a godly woman. I also see that I can do bold things, but they can be accomplished with a meek and gentle spirit. My desire is to behave in such a way that it reflects my Father's character.

Chapter 3 leaves me with the desire to be a godly woman. As my boys grow older and begin to enter the stage of life where they might bring home a young woman who is destined to be their bride, I long to have the kind of relationship that Naomi and Ruth shared. Not to replace or displace her mother, but to add to and bless her with another trusted adviser, to share in common the love of God and which ever son she loves. And that leaves me feeling somewhat adrift. Other than praying for that kind of relationship, I don't know how to achieve it. I don't see that around me. What I see most often is a strained relationship between the mothers of sons and the son's wife. I see young women not willing to listen to the wise counsel of their mother-in-laws, and only willing to listen to and love their own families. And it makes me sad, because I believe that God has so much more for us ~ I believe He shows us what could be in the book of Ruth ~ if we would just embrace His design.

If you have this kind of relationship with a daughter-in-law, would you share with us? Would you share how you have cultivated this love and trust? I am certain that I am not the only one desiring this, and yet at a loss as how to accomplish it when the time comes.

Being Content

2009-08-24T08:50:00.000-07:00

**I will get back to the book of Ruth, but something else has been on my mind this week, and so I decided that I would write a post on contentedness instead of pushing ahead with Ruth.**

In the book of Philippians, Paul wrote: "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

We have come face to face with this over the last 8 months, and I think that with the economy being what it is, many of you probably have as well. Maybe you have been able to be content, and maybe you haven't. I have been so thankful for the many things God has brought us through over the last several years, so that as we have walked through these months of unemployment and sporadic employment, we have been able to completely trust in Him. Don't get me wrong ~ there have been moments of panic and worry ~ but they have been minimal. I was telling a friend yesterday that God is so...well, God. :-) Is there truly any adjective that can adequately describe our great and glorious Father?

Being content can be difficult. But I do believe that the key is keeping our focus on God. If we are looking at our circumstances, then being content is going to be difficult. I'm not talking about sticking our head in the sand, and pretending that whatever is happening isn't. But I am talking about not "focusing" on our circumstances. Some of us are worriers by nature. It is difficult for us not to worry ~ there's always something to worry over! Some of us belong to communities that, depending on our personality can make it difficult to be content. The homeschooling community can be like that. I don't believe it means to be. :-) But as things are taught (Biblically based things), it can make it difficult to be content with where God has us. The entrepreneurial movement caused many to be discontent with being employed by someone else. However, God does not call every man to be an entrepreneur. Some men are just going to be employees. I do believe that we all benefit from entrepreneurial thinking, but that does not mean we are all going to be self-employed.

The call now for fathers to be more involved with their children; particularly their sons, can cause discontent ~ especially for mamas! Now, I do want to say before I go any further, that I do believe that a father's involvement is crucial ~ for both our sons and daughters. But I as a woman cannot truly teach my sons how to be men. I can impart wisdom to them, and I can teach them many things that are integral to being a man, but by virtue of my sex, there are many things that they just need to learn from their Daddy or another godly man. We have one son in particular that just because of his temperament and some of the issues we have had with him needs his Dad to "take him in hand" more than the other boys did/do. But, my Beloved is working for a farmer right now. He is gone before light and doesn't get home until after dark. I can allow this to cause me to be discontent ~ and contentious with him when he gets home ~ or I can choose to be content because God has provided this job for him at this time. I am thinking and praying about ways he can still be more involved with this son, but for now I am not dinging at him about it. God knows what my children need, He knows what I need, and He knows what my Beloved needs. When my Beloved does get home, he is only up for a couple of hours before he's in bed and I believe that time is better spent with us being able to talk and the children being able to talk and snuggle with their Daddy before bedtime. I could fuss at him about making lists of chores for the older boys to accomplish, but in this season it's not the most important thing. I am his helpmeet. Right now that means that I need to look around the place and see what needs to be done, and get the boys to working. For instance the other day, I put one of the boys to work putting the roof on our wood shed. We've had the materials for probably a year, but my Beloved just hasn't had the time to get it done. So, I gave one of the older boys the task of getting the roof on the shed, telling him how it would bless his dad to have that project done. Now we just need to get the wood stacked. ;-)

These past 8 months have been such a blessing to us. We have seen God provide for specific bills we didn't have money to pay, we have seen God provide work when we needed it (though not a job), we have seen God provide for our needs through the generous gifts of our brothers and sisters in Christ. He truly is Jehovah Jireh! We have come to the realization (!) that God is the one who provides. He is the one who always provides, but when our husbands are bringing home a paycheck, it's easy to forget that it's God and not our husband who is providing for our family. These past months have stripped away all pretense of self-reliance, and made plain the reality, the truth that it is God who is providing for our family's needs.

GOD IS OUR PROVIDER

Do you believe that? This is where the contentment rubber meets the road. :-) If I believe that God is sovereign over all, if I believe that what God brings into our lives is better than what I would want, if I believe that God loves me and what He provides is enough, then I am going to be content. I have come to realize that while my Beloved is responsible for looking for work, putting in applications, doing his best and projecting the best image possible at interviews, ultimately the getting of a job is God's arena. My Beloved can do everything to the best of his abilities, but he cannot force someone to hire him. Only God can provide the job. This has actually been a very freeing realization. It has allowed me to settle into contentment much more quickly than I think I would have otherwise.

We have been praying about a particular job, but with my Beloved farming right now, timing is not what I think it should be. :-) Last week, I spent too much time worrying about it. He needs to talk to this person, this needs to get done, how will he have time, etc. It began with just a few thoughts about it here and there, but began to crescendo in my heart and mind. After spending the better part of one day worrying about it, I realized I needed to stop and pray about it and just leave it with God. After all, if he is to have this job, it will be in God's timing. So, I prayed. I prayed about the timing of it all, I prayed that God would move my Beloved to do what he needs to do when he needs to do it, etc. About 2 days after I had prayed about it, my Beloved came home, and all he wanted to talk about was this job and what he needs to do and how I need to help him. Now, God does not always answer our prayers so quickly ~ and I am not suggesting that you grab onto a "name it and claim it" or "prosperity gospel" type of beliefs ~ but I am suggesting that instead of stewing on something you pray about it and quit worrying! I can be content because I trust that God is going to do what is best for our family ~ whether that happens to be what I want or not, in the time I want ~ and rarely if ever does God work on my timetable!

Trust God that He has you right where He wants you; right where you need to be. Believe that He is working everything for your good ~ your family's good. And if contentment is difficult for you to find, pray about it and ask God to help you find it. He's faithful ~ I'm pretty sure that's a prayer He will answer.

Spiced Peach Jam

2009-08-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

This is one of our favorite jam recipes (besides Huckleberry!). My mom also just found out that it makes super bee trap bait!

Spiced Peach Jam

4 C (about 3lbs) ripe peaches, peeled, pitted, and ground or chopped fine
1/4 C lemon juice
7 1/2 C sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp allspice
1/2 (6oz) bottle liquid pectin

Combine peaches and lemon juice.
Add sugar and spices ~ mix well. Place over high heat and bring to a full rolling boil; boil hard 1 minute, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat; immediately stir in pectin. Skim off foam with metal spoon. Cool slightly, stir and skim by turns for 5 minutes. Ladle into hot sterilized jars and seal.
Let jam sit about 2 weeks before using.

Makes 6 half pints.

Enjoy!

Ruth Chapter 2

2009-08-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

Ruth ch. 2 tells us of Ruth's life back in Judah with Naomi.

As they return, Ruth takes the initiative in helping provide for them. She goes out into the fields to glean and bring home grain. She was obviously not afraid of hard work, and was willing to do what she needed to to help Naomi.

As Ruth is gleaning in the fields, Boaz takes notice of her ~ her reputation precedes her.
"But Boaz answered her, 'All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me, and how you left your father and mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before. The Lord repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the Lord, the God of Isarael, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!'" Ruth 2:11-12

One of the things that struck me as I read through chapter 2 is Boaz and his behavior. Every time I have ever heard the book of Ruth preached on, the speaker talks of Ruth's boldness towards Boaz. But, as I read ch. 2, I see Boaz taking the lead. He has heard of Ruth and how she has cared for Naomi. He pulls her aside and speaks with her, telling her of the good he has heard about her, he invites her to eat with him ~ making sure that she eats her fill and has some extra to take home, he watches over her, taking care to make sure the men in the field leave her alone, and he instructs his men to leave bundles of grain for her to "glean". From the very beginning, Boaz is taking care of her, showing her deference, and basically loving her. Ruth's later boldness comes, I think, from these initial actions by Boaz.

We see that Ruth is very diligent in her work, beginning early in the morning and gleaning until the evening. When she returns home, she not only brings the gleanings, but she brings home the prepared food left from lunch for Naomi as well.

I think, in ch.2, we can get the most instruction from Ruth as a daughter-in-law. It was very convicting to me as I read. I had a strained relationship with my mother-in-law, and she has now been gone for over 13 years, so I cannot try to make things right. What we see is a young woman who is more than willing to care for her mother-in-law, she acts on that willingness. We see that her reputation preceded her in how she cared for Naomi. If you moved to a new place, and the only thing to recommend you to others was your reputation for how you treated your mother-in-law, what would people think of you? Would you be as well thought-of as Ruth? Or would people have a poor opinion of you?

I do believe that Naomi was probably an exceptional woman and that the two women had a good relationship. But, I don't think things were probably always rosy. They were very poor, both being widows, and we know from Naomi's own words that she was bitter. Bitter people can be extremely hard to get along with. Yet, Ruth is known for her love and care of Naomi. So, a difficult mother-in-law is no excuse. Our behavior is not dependent on other's actions.

Do you have a 'care-taker' mentality toward your mother-in-law? Perhaps she is a very capable woman, or you live far from her, but you can still love and care for her (and distance might actually make that easier!). If needed, would you willingly take her into your home and provide for her?

Years ago, we took my Beloved's father into our home. He was very, very ill and needed surgery, but he was too weak to withstand the surgery. So, he came to our house to be strengthened. We had had a very difficult relationship. To bring him into our home was not something that I relished, but felt like we needed to do. He was only with us for a month or two, but it was a major turning point in our relationship. I am so thankful that we brought him home and cared for him. It gave our children an opportunity to know their grandpa better (we lived several hours away from them and did not see them often), and it gave me an opportunity to put love to action toward my father-in-law. Some of the things that we do for my Beloved's step-mom are to call her on a fairly regular basis and see how she is doing. When we are in the area, we always stop and visit. We do what we can (long distance) to show her love and respect. If she needed it, we would take her into our home in a moment. This is an attitude change that has only been brought about by the working of the Holy Spirit (for both my Beloved and I).

You may have a long list of hurts inflicted by your in-laws, but I encourage you to take them to the Lord and leave them at His feet. Ask Him to give you a super-natural love for your in-laws. Perhaps the relationship is such that you really can't spend time around them, but that doesn't mean you can't get creative and still honor and love them. Maybe you have a great relationship ~ if so, praise God! Are there still ways you can love them better?

What were some of your thoughts as you read through chapter 2? Please share! This week, we'll read chapter 3.

Ruth Chapter 1

2009-07-27T09:26:00.001-07:00

As I read through Ruth Chapter 1, I wasn't really sure what I could pull out of it. Which is one reason I'm a week or two late in getting this posted. I just needed to think on it a bit.

One of the things I found interesting is that from the way the text is written, it would appear that Naomi's sons waited until after their father died before taking wives.

"But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband." Ruth 1:3-5

Since the text doesn't give us ages or timelines, there could be a number of reasons that the boys didn't marry until after their father's death. The boys may not have been old enough to marry while their father lived, or (and I must admit this was my first thought), they knew that Elimelech would not allow them to marry foreign women. That thought was bolstered by the fact that God did not bless those marriages with children.

However it came about, Naomit found herself with not one, but two daughters-in-law who did not share her faith. We don't know anything of Orpah's or Ruth's lives, what kind of homes they grew up in, but we do know they were raised in a pagan culture.

After Naomi's sons died, she decided to return home, hearing that the Lord was once again blessing the land. She begins the journey with both daughters-in-law, but at some point decides to urge them to return to their mother's houses. (As a side note, I wonder if this is a clue that these were fatherless girls. Why not urge them to return to their father's houses?) I don't understand why Naomi decides mid-journey that the girls shouldn't return with her. Why not decide and settle it before leaving? Perhaps she truly loved them and wanted them with her. This would at least partially explain Ruth's love and devotion for her mother-in-law. Did she begin to think that it would be too difficult for her daughers-in-law once they were back in Judah? Wash she showing her love for them, and sacrificing her own comfort in having them, by encouraging them to return to their own homes?She also had to realize that they would have a hard existence with no man to provide for them. So, for whatever reason, Naomi decides the girls should return to their homes in Moab.

Orpah tearfully agrees, but Ruth pleads with Naomi to allow her to stay with her.

"But Ruth said, 'Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.' And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more." Ruth 1:16-18

What kind of woman was Naomi that she inspired such love and devotion from Ruth? Considering her circumstances, it would have been so easy for her to have been resentful and to keep her daughters-in-law at arms length. After all, they were pagans! They did not know or love the One True God. She could have been angry with her sons for not going back to Judah to find wives. But it would appear that this godly woman loved her daughters-in-law in spite of their differences. She must have made them feel loved and welcomed into the family ~ for even though Orpah did return home, she didn't do it without a lot of tears. And Ruth was willing to leave everything and everyone she knew and follow Naomi to a land she knew nothing about.

Even though later Naomi changes her name to Mara (meaning "Bitter"), and feels like God has dealt harshly with her, there must have been something of the character of God shing through in her to draw Ruth so strongly.

So, as women desiring to live godly lives, what are some lessons we can pull from Ruth Chapter 1?

Even when things aren't going like *I* plan, I need to trust God's plan. I need to love the people He brings into my life, and not hold them at arms length just because they aren't who I would have chosen. We get to read the end of the story, and know that God had a plan for Ruth to marry into Naomi's family ~ she was to be in the lineage of Christ, but Naomi didn't know that! Yet, she loved Ruth anyway.

In the same vein, as a mother-in-law (someday!), I need to love my children's spouses. Even if they marry someone I think they should not, I need to accept and love them. I ned to make sure that I am doing what I can to make them feel welcome and a part of the family. My own mother has been a wonderful example of this to me ~ and she has had some difficult in-laws! I need to remember that it may be my response to them, the way that I love them that God will use to draw them to Himself. Even before getting to this stage in my life, I know myself well enough to know that I will only be able to do this within the power of the Holy Spirit.

As a wife, I need to love my husband's family. It may be likely that Ruth's husband's family was much better than her own, but we do not know that. She may have had a wonderful family, yet she was willing to leave them and take her husband's family as her own. She was willing to leave and cleave. How often I have observed women who are not willing to leave their own family, but expect their husband to practically abandon his family in favor of hers. Now, I am not calling us to abandon our families! But we do need to love our husband's family and be willing to spend time with them. We need to love them as our own ~ and I know that this is not always easy! But I do believe that as wives it is what we are called to. It honors God and it honors our husband.

I need to think of others and what is best for them beyond what I want, and what would provide the most comfort for me. Naomi apparently wanted her daughters-in-law with her, and yet, in the end decided it was in their best interests for them to return to their own homes. In encouraging them to turn back, she was putting their interests ahead of her own, and showing a trust in God that He would provide for her needs. As a godly woman, I need to do the same.

Is there anything that you picked out of Ruth 1, that I missed? Please share! I would really like for this to be a "group" study. Let's learn along with and from each other! This week, let's read Chapter 2, and I'll post my thoughts next Monday.

Wow, 5 Years

2009-07-25T16:12:00.000-07:00

Today Tucker would be 5.

It doesn't seem possible that it's been 5 years since the most horrific day in my life. 5 years of the most incredible journey that God has ever placed my feet upon. 5 years of learning more about my beloved Heavenly Father and learning to trust Him and His plan in ways I never could have imagined 5 years and 1 day ago.

On the morning of July 25, 2004, I was laboring to bring forth our 7th child and 5th son. It was a glorious, beautiful morning. But when Tucker was delivered, his little body was lifeless. His cord had broken minutes before birth and he leapt from my womb into the waiting arms of Jesus. I have never felt such an overwhelming urgency and despair in my life. I learned what it was to walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. I learned how deep that valley can be, and yet, I also learned the truth of God's word. I learned not to doubt Him. I learned to trust even when it went against every instinct I had. I learned to rely upon Him to lift my eyes to the hills, for He who is my help comes from them.

I have recently spent some time reading some of the things I wrote in the weeks following Tucker's death. I would not willingly choose to walk through that kind of grief again, and yet, it was such a precious time of learning and being loved by my Father, that I can't wish it away. Throughout those first days and weeks, in particular, there were many evidences of God's love and care for us. Some were big and some were seemingly little.

My midwife had written a poem for Tucker. When I went to put it into his scrapbook, I could not find it. I looked and looked. I tore the house apart and I could not find that poem. I was devastated. It was something tangible and it was gone. I just knew that it had gotten thrown away with all the envelopes from the many cards we had received. I cried out to God to help me find it. After 2 weeks of searching for the poem, I was extremely weepy one morning. After Mike left for work, I began to clean the table off, and there was the poem ~ in a spot I had looked in repeatedly.

Mike's brother gave us a piece of granite to have cut for Tucker's headstone. I had a picture that someone had given me of Jesus holding a baby up against His chest. For me, that was a portrait of Tucker. I wanted it on his headstone so badly, but didn't think that I could ask for a "custom" order. I had resigned myself to finding a lamb or something to have engraved on it. When we went to the monument place and told them that we needed a headstone for our infant son, they got out a couple of books that had engravings for babies. I looked through the first one ~ nothing. I opened the second one and about 2 pages into it, there was the picture! I couldn't believe it. Seeing that picture, knowing that I could have that engraved on Tucker's headstone was like a hug from God. He knew how deeply I was hurting and how much these seemingly small things meant to me.

As I think back on how He cared for us throughout that first year, I want to encourage you that whatever you are going through, God cares. He knows what path you are walking on. He has ordained it for your life. He is sovereign and nothing catches Him by surprise. This is not random ~ it has passed through the loving hands of your heavenly Father and He has allowed it because He loves you. It will refine you in ways that nothing else will. Trust Him. Turn to Him.

If you are grieving a loss, I want to encourage you to extend love and grace to your husband. He is going to grieve differently than you, and if you try to box in how he should grieve, then it's going to cause problems. Thinking back, Mike did things that were hurtful to me, but he was in the midst of his own grief, and I know that he did not mean to hurt me. I had to just love him and extend grace towards him through that time ~ and he had to do the same for me. We made the determination within the first few moments of knowing that there would be no reviving Tucker that our grief would not drive us apart, and it would not drive us away from God. And I am so thankful! Our marriage is stronger because of our journey of grief, and we are so much more mature in our walk with the Lord because of it.

Happy birthday, Tucker ~ I miss you terribly, but I rejoice that you are in the presence of our Savior. I praise God that though we are apart for now, we will spent eternity together.

Ruth

2009-07-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about Ruth. I haven't had time to sit down and read through it, but over the next few weeks anyway, I am going to. I think that Ruth probably has a lot to say to us as wives, daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law. So, as I read I will be taking notes and sharing thoughts here.

My goal for the time being is to post here at least once a week. I'm going to shoot for posting on Mondays, and if I have time, I may post more.

I invite you to join me as I begin to journey through the book of Ruth.

Busy, busy

2009-07-02T14:59:00.000-07:00

So much has been going on, I don't even know what all we've been doing! :-) We've had such a busy spring. Both Will and Levi participated in track and Levi ended up going to state in 2 events. May ended with graduations and then June got going and the older 3 boys participated in a 2 week mission trip that encompassed 5 local communities. Will gave the message once in each of the 5 towns, and the 2 that we got to hear were wonderful. What a priviledge and blessing it is to hear your grown children speaking the gospel message! It was wonderful.

"Everything" ~ Will in the black, representing lust. Levi is portraying Jesus

Because of the government school graduations and the mission trip, we didn't have our open house for Will's graduation until this past Saturday, the 27th. So, for the two weeks prior to that, we were busily getting the house and yard ready for guests. We had a lovely day, with lots of guests. We had family here that we haven't seen in quite some time and lots of friends as well.
Our menu, which I'll share because it worked really well (I think we ended up with between 50-60 guests), was:
Pulled meat sandwiches (I roasted 5 roasts with onions, pulled the meat and added a bottle of BBQ sauce. Instead of "hoagie" rolls, I made hamburger buns)
Potato salad (made by Grammie)
Pasta salad
Cole slaw
Texas cole slaw
Watermelon slices
Veggies with ranch dip (radishes out of our garden, mini peppers ~ red, orange and yellow, baby carrots, and snow peas)

Corn Chips and Layered Mexican Dip
Watergate salad
And we ordered a beautiful cake from Costco.

Here's Will with his cake

My Beloved is still out of work ~ That makes 6 months now. God has been so faithful! Last month, I didn't know how we were going to make our house payment. We had enough in the account in May, but then had to pay the power bill, and so we just didn't have the money for the mortgage. So, I started to pray, "God, I know you can make the house payment. I don't know how, but I know that you can do it." We went to church one Sunday, and our pastor pulled Mike aside and told him he wanted our house payment information because someone wanted to make our house payment for us! Mike told him no, that we were fine. :-O But, our pastor insisted, telling him that these folks wanted to bless us in this way, and that it would be a blessing to them as well. When Mike told me about it after church, I said, "You can't say no to God answering my prayer!"

God has just shown us over and over how He is the one who provides for us. While I anxiously await a "real" job for Mike, in the time being, God is providing odd jobs to help meet expenses, and providing money through gifts that folks are leaving at church for us. We are humbled and so thankful for His provision.

So, that's at least part of what has kept me away from my blog lately. :-) I will try to do better about posting. I am hopeful that July and August won't be quite as busy as the spring was.

What I'm Reading...

2009-06-16T06:36:00.000-07:00

Books I can be found reading right now...

The Bible ~ Focusing on Psalm 119. I heard a challenge by a radio pastor Sunday morning to read 1 paragraph of Psalm 119. Each day before you read, ask the Lord to give you a hunger for His word. 22 paragraphs = 22 days = a new habit!

At Home In Mitford by Jan Karon ~ I rarely allow myself the pleasure of fiction anymore, though I love it. I just don't have time. I decided I could find a few moments just before bed to enjoy a sweet, easy reading book. :-)

The Organized Home Schooler by Vicki Caruana ~ Just picked this up at a yard sale on Saturday. I am always struggling with the overall organization of our home. Hopefully, this will get me motivated!

Please pray for Noah

2009-05-07T16:05:00.000-07:00

Little Noah Estes is in serious need of your prayers right now. He is once again in the hospital, and gravely ill. As of right now, they don't know what is going on. You can click on the Pray for Noah button to the left and it will take you to their blog. Please, if you are reading this, take a moment and go to their blog and then lift sweet little Noah and his family before the Throne of Grace.

Thank you!

De-cluttering and Down-sizing!

2009-05-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I find that I am a slow learner. ;-) It seems I have to go over the same life lesson over and over before I "get" it. One of the lessons that I am still working on is being able to keep on top of the housework. I manage to be organized in the small things, but it seems that the house is always cluttered. It is frustrating, and it makes me weary. So, I have recently come to the conclusion that we have TOO MUCH STUFF! What an epiphany! ;-)

On our way home from the Home Discipleship conference in Seattle, I talked Mike's ear off. Well, I chewed it pretty good, anyway! And, we came to the conclusion that when we got home, I needed to just go room by room and de-clutter and down-size.

I began in the laundry room, because I figured that every other room would produce more laundry, and so I felt like that was the best, most logical place to start. I wish I could tell you that I'm on my third or fourth room, but with Mike's sister's death last week, the Great Down-sizing got put on hold. So, I began again today. It's going to be slow going this week, I've got at least 3 days this week that I'm going to be gone, so I hope that I don't lose my momentum.

My hope is that by getting rid of a bunch of stuff, and trying to be more diligent in making sure that everyone is picking up after themselves, that I will be able to keep on top of things. Perhaps I'll have finally learned this lesson! I hope. :-)

If you have any great organization tips, please share!

In A Positive Light

2009-05-03T16:39:00.000-07:00

I apologize for being so desperately sporadic in my posting! It seems that my days get away from me, and though I often think one thing or another would be wonderful to write about, I can't settle my mind enough to put my thoughts together. I don't want this to be a place full of ramblings (though at times ramblings can be fun!), but that what I write here would be a blessing and benefit to those of you who stop by and read.

This morning, in our Sunday School class we were talking about following Christ ~ intentionally living as Christ lived. These were some of the scriptures we read.

"And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? Luke 9:23-25

"Jesus answered him, "If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him." John 14:23

"The thief comes only to stea and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10

As we read these scriptures, I began to contemplate. First off, He wants to give us life. But not just any life. He wants to give us abundant life! That is incedible. I am a sinner ~ born seperated from Almighty God, who, in His time, reached down and redeemed my soul. But! He doesn't just redeem me into poverty ~ which would be more than I deserved, but He redeems me to abundant life! Wow!! What an overwhelmingly generous Father!

However, do we live the reality of an abundant life? As we read John 14, and Luke 9, it occurred to me that we often think of the Christian life in the terms of "Don't". Don't do this and don't do that. Don't even think about the other! But, how does God speak to us? As author and creator of life, He knows His creation, and He knows how to motivate His children. Certainly, there are "Thou shalt nots" contained within scripture. But there are also many positive directives.

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."
"If anyone loves me, he will keep my word..."

Think about it, He could have said, "Don't do what you want, don't be selfish, don't disobey me..." But He chose to phrase things positively. In much the same way, He could have spoken to wives negatively. "Don't work outside the home. Don't disrespect your husband. Don't be harsh with your children." But how does our Father, who loves us and wants us to live an abundant life speak to His daughters?

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." Eph. 5:22-24

"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Col. 3:18

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:3-5

And of course there is 1 Peter 3:1-6. God chose to phrase all of these directives in a positive form. "Do this. Do that." Think about your children. Is it easier to motivate them by being negative or by being positive with them? How effective is negativity? Perhaps things are different at your house, but I have found here that negativity doesn't do much but make everyone negative. :-)

I know so many women who read the above passages and see them negatively. Particularly Titus. They have a right to work, and no one is going to oppress them and tell them they shouldn't work, or that it's unbiblical to work outside the home. I have no desire here to really flesh that out, or cause a great debate. However, I do not believe that God's best is for women to be in the workplace. Many women I know and love work ~ and I am not going to stand and condemn them. Some I know have prayed long and hard about being able to come home, and that has not happened; so while I know that the normative principle would be for women to be at home (this does not mean that we don't work!), that does not mean that there are not times and cases where it is God's will. But, if you are one of those who has seen these negatively, I would ask you to read them afresh. Ask God to open your eyes and heart to what He means. Not what man says, but what is God saying? God, who created you woman. God who always treats His daughters with love and respect. God, who wants you to live life abundantly! What does He say His best is? What does He say glorifies Him?

Then the question is: Do you want to live the abudant life? It can be inconvenient. It can be difficult. It will mean sacrifice. It will mean dying to self. Are you willing? Is it what you desire? Or, are you willing to settle for less? Do you prefer to live a defeated life? A life of heavy weights upon your shoulders?

I pray you would choose abundant life.

Grief and Comfort

2009-05-03T16:30:00.000-07:00

My Beloved's oldest sister committed suicide this past week. It has been a long week, full of grief and memories. On Friday, all of the rest of his siblings came here to our house and we spent some time together thinking about and honoring her memory. We sang songs of praise and worship to our Heavenly Father, we read scripture, and we released balloons into the darkened sky.

Throughout this week, God has shown Himself faithful. He has comforted us as we grieved. I had contacted some dear prayer warriors, and asked them to cover my Beloved in prayer before I told him. Of all the deaths in his family that I have walked alongside him through, I believe that he handled this one best, and I know it is because of all the prayers lifted before the Throne of Grace on his behalf.

If you were one of the ones praying for him, THANK YOU!! May God bless you as you have blessed us with your prayers. I am so thankful for the internet. In a moment's time, I was able to ask for prayers around the world ~ how amazing is that? And God answered. That too is amazing.

"But God, who comforts the downcast..." 2 Cor. 7:6a

Truely our God is close to the broken-hearted.

In Loving Memory

Stacy Michelle Ferguson

1958-2009

An Encouraging Read

2009-03-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

"We want the opportunity to come into your home with our beautiful, printed magazine that is rich with encouragement and ideas that work, with our books and audios, that will give you a boost and the strength for tomorrow. I want TEACH to be your teammate who cheers you on and inspires you to keep on keeping on." Laurie Flem

Laurie shared this sentiment in the most recent issue of TEACH magazine. And, for me anyway, this is exactly what TEACH is, a teammate that cheers me on and inspires me. Teach is always greatly anticipated, and quickly read ~ except the last issue which mysteriously disappeared before I got it completely read! However, I did get this most current issue read, and it's definitely a keeper!

The Spring 2009 issue of TEACH magazine is all about "Marriages Made Marvelous". It's full of wonderful articles that have lots of practical application. Articles that will make you laugh, make you nod your head in agreement, prick your heart with conviction, and articles that will make you cry.

I don't usually write my TEACH reviews on this blog, but because their focus was marriage, I decided to share about this wonderful magazine with you. What a wonderful resource to have, especially if you are struggling in your marriage. But even if you aren't, the articles in this issue are full of good reminders. For instance, Bonita Lillie reminds us that our security isn't found in our imperfect husbands, but our hope is in God; and when we remember that, and place our fears and lives in the hands of our heavenly Father, we are free to respect our husband.

Christina Shadbolt shares 8 ideas that are marriage builders, one of which was "know yourself". Part of this would be knowing what sets you off when you are tired or grumpy (which usually happens when you're tired), and working your schedule or surroundings so that you avoid those triggers. Check out TEACH to find the other 7 ideas.

Those are just two of the wonderful articles found within the Spring issue of TEACH. There are several more to encourage you as a wife, and some great articles to encourage you as a Mama as well! TEACH truely is a gem, and I'm so thankful that I found it! I would encourage you to check them out, and get a little encouragement today. You can find them at: http://www.TEACHmagazine.com/

Am I Willing to be Quiet?

2009-03-12T22:14:00.000-07:00

Apparently, since I haven't posted in a month, the answer would be yes. :-) Only, that's not what I'm talking about. HA!

We are going through the Love and Respect DVD series right now. This is great! I highly recommend this study. Much of what is taught God has been showing me over the last several years, so as far as my relationship with my husband, nothing dramatic has happened because of this study, although there have been some things that I hadn't given too much thought to before. But. It has given me some new perspective and insight into my sons.

One of the things Dr. Eggerichs (I probably spelled that wrong!) talks about is the difference(s) between men and women. And the difference that I am talking about here is this~ women like to talk; men, not so much. :-) When women are together, they will chatter and carry on a conversation and go into details and rabbit trail and get back to the point, and rabbit trail some more, and loop back to the point, etc. Men will do things together, but not necessarily talk very much. Women like details, men like basics.

Husbands get energized by their wife just being there with them ~ side by side ~ without us talking to them, but just being with them.

This is an area where I do need some work. I always have sooo much to say! ;-) But, I want my Beloved to have his needs met as well, and sometimes that means that I am just willing to sit and watch him while he works on something. If he's working on the van, maybe I just sit and hand him tools as he needs them. Or hand him nails while he's building something. Or whatever, except not talk his ear off.

The other revelation I have had with this whole being quiet is in spending time with my sons. Often when one of them will go to town with me, we don't say much. I might try to carry on a conversation with them, but often I get grunts or one word answers. So we usually have pretty quiet trips. I have always felt like I was failing in some respect because we didn't have deep, meaningful conversations while we were just one on one. But now, I can see that it is not wasted time. That very likely it is a great time for my sons, to just be with me and not have to talk. That those times pave the way for when they are ready to sit and have a conversation ~ and we do have some pretty good conversations ~ just not as often as I would like.

So, let me encourage you today. Take some time, and just sit "shoulder to shoulder" with your man. Let him watch TV, or read, or go sit in the woods with him, or whatever he wants to do. And be willing to do it quietly. You may be blown away by how meaningful it is to him.

Update

2009-02-10T11:31:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update for those of you who are praying and wondering. :-)

My Beloved is still jobless, although he does have applications in with several places. Most are jobs with a closing date, and we just haven't reached those dates yet.

God is faithful, and I am so thankful that we know that He is in control of this entire situation, and that He will provide.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock." Isaiah 26:3-4

These verses really sum up where I am at right now. Although I do have moments of thinking, "He needs to be working!" For the most part, I am at total peace with him being at home right now. God is providing for our needs, and for that we are thankful.

God *is* sovereign. Not only did this not catch Him by surprise, we believe that this has come directly to us from His hand. Not because He is 'out to get us', but because He desires to refine us, and conform us further into the image of His Son.

We do appreciate and ask for continued prayers ~ and thank you for the ones you've already sent up!

Prayers Appreciated

2009-01-30T13:19:00.000-08:00

I would very much appreciate your prayers, should you feel so led. :-)

My Beloved has been out of work now for 2 weeks. We are confident that God will provide, but it is difficult not to worry about how the bills will be paid. He had an interview this morning that he felt went well, but we will not hear back until sometime next week whether or not he gets the job.

Thank you, and God bless.

Thought for the Day

2009-01-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

God is not only the conductor, but the composer of the song that is my life.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

And the winner is...

2009-01-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

Susan Peterson!

Congratulations, Susan! Thanks to everyone who entered to win. I really appreciate your participation in my first giveaway! This was fun for me, so I may just do it again! ;-) Hmmm... Maybe around Valentine's Day? Check back!

May each of you have a wonderful, blessed day!

Last Day!

2009-01-07T07:53:00.000-08:00

Today is the last day of the giveaway for "Dining On A Dime" by Tawra Kellam and Jill Cooper!
Be sure and enter to win. A couple of you have your comments on yesterday's post, but I did make a notation (to me), that those comments came this morning. Sorry this post is late ~ internet's been spotty with the weather we've been having.

Tomorrow morning I will put the names in a hat (or bowl!), and have one of my darling children draw the winning name. I will post the winner here, and also contact the winner to get contact information to send to Tawra over at Living On A Dime.

You may want to check out Living On A Dime's website, I believe today is the last day of a big sale ~ so you might be able to get some other great money-saving books there as well!

A Wife is a Good Thing

2009-01-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

**Don't forget ~ leave a comment and be entered to win a copy of Dining On A Dime by Tawra Kellam and Jill Cooper. You must be a US resident.**

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." Proverbs 18:22

Would your husband consider having you for a wife a good thing? This may seem like a silly question, but just sit and listen sometime. Even in Christian company, often, wives and husbands are not spoken well of. In fact, it is so common to speak poorly of your spouse that when someone speaks well of their husband or wife, people notice. Often, they are mostly just joining in ~ they do love their spouse, but they still willingly say hurtful things about them. Men talk about how difficult and nagging their wives are. Wives belittle their husbands and talk about how inept they are.

We should endeavor to live in such a way with our husband that he when he speaks of us it is to relate what a good thing he has in us. How blessed he is by the Lord to have us for his wife. I want my Beloved to always be able to speak well of me, not because I want "ego stroke", but because it means that I am living as a godly wife.

Think about how you relate to your husband. Be honest with yourself. Does he believe you to be a good thing in his life?

Psalm 128

2009-01-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

**Don't forget to leave a comment and be entered to win a copy of Dining On A Dime!**

"Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you from Zion! May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life! May you see your children's children! Peace be upon Israel!"

No grand thoughts ~ it's been a migraine day. :-/ Just some questions.

Do you fear the Lord?
Do you walk in His ways?
Are you a fruitful vine?

God bless you as you contemplate this Psalm and what it means to you as a woman of God, a wife, and if so blessed, a mama.

Embrace Who You Are

2009-01-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

**Don't forget to leave a comment and be entered to win a copy of, "Dining On A Dime" by Jill Cooper and Tawra Kellam! You must be a US resident, and only one entry per day. If you leave more than one comment, you will still only be entered once for that day.**

Secluded in our bedroom, I moved from making the bed to straightening the top of the dresser. My hand fell upon pictures of babies, and my eye rested upon a portrait of the older boys taken with a beloved pet. Remembering back over the years to when the boys were little brought a smile to my face.

Then I began to reflect upon the advice I've heard time and again from varying marriage and romance "experts".

"Do not have pictures of your children in the master bedroom." (It's supposed to be a romantic place!)
"When on a 'date' with your spouse, do not discuss the children."

Years ago, when we first began to hear this advice, we tried to follow it. After all, we were hearing it from so many different people, even Christian 'experts', and we wanted to have a great marriage. Their reasoning seemed sound ~ after all, you don't want to get to an empty nest and find out all you had in common was the children.

However, we have found this advice to be impossible to follow. When we are alone, although we talk about a variety of things, our conversation naturally turns to the children: their schooling, jobs they are working, sports, any issues we may be dealing with or problems they might be having. We are, after all, their parents. An integral part of who we are as a couple is the family that God has blessed us with. It is good and right that our conversation should often be centered around them.

It is wonderful and even romantic that we have pictures of our blessings in our bedroom. You may now be thinking that I've stepped over some line of sanity referring to pictures of our children as 'romantic'. But I tell you, not only am I sane, I'm serious! Those pictures (as well as the baby sleeping in our room) are reminders of God's purpose for our union. God desires godly offspring. "Did He not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth." Malachi 2:15

My Beloved and I are quiverfull. That means that we acknowledge that Scripture says that God is the one who opens and closes the womb. We acknowledge that Scripture says children are a blessing from the hand of God. And we joyfully accept the blessings that God gives us ~ in His timing. We don't have to be inhibited in our lovemaking because I "might" get pregnant. It is a joy to us if I get pregnant! We can be free and romantic whenever, because we know that God is in control of our "family planning". Pictures of our children do *not* inhibit romance in any way.

If you have no children, then embrace that. Do your utmost to be content and embrace your role as a helpmeet to your beloved. If you do have children, embrace that. Don't inhibit conversation because what you want to talk about is your children. Don't make your room devoid of their pictures, because some "expert" has said it should be. God has blessed you with those children! By all means, do what you can to have other common interests with your beloved ~ your children *should not* be the only thing you have in common; but don't set them aside either.

You Are Needed!!

2009-01-03T05:00:00.000-08:00

**Don't forget to leave a comment and enter the book giveaway! Only one entry per day and you must be a US resident. I also wanted to let you know that it's not necessary to leave your mailing address on my blog ~ do please leave some sort of contact information ~ that way, I can just contact the winner for their mailing address. Thanks!**

For Christmas, we bought the girls a set of American Girl movies. A friend had told me that although she didn't care for the books, the movies were good movies for girls, and what she found objectionable in the books was not in the movies. So, when I found them at Costco, I got them.

One of the movies is about Molly, a little girl living during WWII. We have watched this several times now, and this movie saddens me! Molly is 10, and because of the war, her world is turned upside down. Her father, a doctor, enlists in the Army so that he can go overseas and take care of wounded soldiers. After he leaves, her mother goes to work in a factory because the women were needed. Her aunt, who originally agreed to come and care for Molly and her siblings, joins the women's air corps because, "she can do so much good". I sit and watch this movie and I ache for Molly! While the overall message of sacrifice is a good and noble one ~ Biblical as well! ~ basically, every adult in Molly's life tells her that her needs are not as important as others. "We all have to make sacrifices." Only too true. But should a 10 year old have to sacrifice her mama for an airplane?

As I watch this movie, I sit and wonder at how many children were left virtual orphans by the war? Daddy was off fighting and Mama was off to the factory. Women bought into the "We need you" line fed to them by the factories, hook, line and sinker. What about the children they left at home? Didn't they need them? Was it worth the sacrifice of their children? How many of those same women never returned home, even after the men were back from the war?

I am not sitting in judgement ~ wartime is a time when sacrifices need to be made. I'm sure many of those women needed to go to work just to keep food on the table. And, it would be arrogant of me to look back and say every one of them was wrong. But watching the story of this fictional little girl, I wonder. I wonder at how many children got the message that they weren't as important as a fighter plane. Or ammunition, or whatever.

So today ~ Wife, Mama, I want to say to you: You are needed! Your beloved needs you. If you have children, they need you. No one can take care of them like you can. No one can meet the needs of your beloved the way you can, no one knows him like you do. No one can love your children like you can, no one has your hugs, your knowledge, your wisdom, no one can give them the care that you can give them.

Are there voices calling for your time and attention? Don't listen to them without carefully evaluating how their call affects those who truely need you, those who truely can't do without you. Don't let those voices drown out the still small voice of the Holy Spirit, or the voices of those entrusted to your care.

A Good Thought for A New Year

2009-01-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

A good thought for wives and mamas as we begin this new year.

Image courtesy of Snapshots of Joy.

Don't forget to leave a comment and be entered to win in our book giveaway!

Dining On A Dime Giveaway!

2009-01-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, I've never done a giveaway on my blog before, but the opportunity came up, and I thought it would be fun! So, here we go!!

Starting today, January 1 and running through January 7, we will be doing a giveaway.

The rules are:

You must live in the United States.
Only 1 entry per day.
You must leave me your address and consent to the transfer of that information to: Tawra Kellam over at Living On A Dime.

Tawra has generously given me the opportunity to give away one of her books, but I don't have that book, she will ship it to the winner.

So, how are we going to pick our winner? I will have some sort of post each day this during the seven days. Each person that leaves a comment will be entered into the drawing ~ remember only 1 entry per day! Leave your email address in your comment. On the morning of the 8th of January, I will put all the names in a hat and have one of my beautiful children draw a name. The winner will be notified and posted here on my blog.

But, you may ask, what book am I entering to win? Good question! The book is "Dining On A Dime" by Tawra Kellam and Jill Cooper. Click on the title and it will take you directly to the page on their website that tells you all about it. While you're at it, you may want to just go to Living On A Dime and check out the sale they're having this week.

Good luck!

Giveaway Starts Tomorrow!

2008-12-31T10:10:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow morning, I will be posting a book giveaway. I love to be able to encourage you towards being a good steward with the resources that God provides. The giveaway is for "Dining On A Dime" from Tawra Kellam over at Living On A Dime. The giveaway will run for 1 week, and I'll have the details for you tomorrow.

Be sure and check back!

Happy New Year!!

Merry Christmas, 2008!

2008-12-21T14:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Ones~

I sit in awe that another year has come and gone ~ already! It doesn’t seem possible that it is once again time to celebrate the birth of our dear Lord. Where does the time go? Busy as always, we have had an eventful year. Here’s everyone’s update.

“For unto us a child is born…” On Mother’s Day, our newest blessing made his arrival. Ezra Alan was born at Deaconess Medical Center by c-section on May 11, at 9:30pm, weighing 8lb 14oz. We did not plan on a hospital birth, but are so thankful that they are available when we need them! Ezra was not positioned properly, and after over 2 hours of pushing, it was decided that a c-sec. was necessary. We had great Drs and nurses, and were very impressed with the care at Deaconess. Ezra is now 7 months old, and a joy to us! He already has 2 teeth, and is very social.

Josiah is now 2, and a football player. He is very much boy ~ loving anything to do with sports and guns. He is a pretty constant shadow to Levi, wanting to do just about anything his big brother is doing. It is very sweet to watch him follow Levi down to the barn to feed the horses. He is talking more and more all the time and even got 15 seconds of fame this football season ~ getting onto Friday Night Sports Extra. Si has a following of groupies everywhere he goes, being a favorite of the highschoolers and coaches alike.

Bob is now 6. This year she got to attend the play Annie with some friends ~ which she greatly enjoyed. In August, she participated in the Missoula Children’s Theatre for the first time. She has anxiously awaited this for two years. She was a raccoon in their production of Little Red Riding Hood. In October, Both Laura and Kathleen attended the Mother/Daughter Tea with Mama, and had a lovely time. Now, Laura is taking gymnastics and is greatly enjoying herself. She is very energetic and pretty athletic, so gymnastics is a good match for her. Bob’s other big venture this fall is mouse trapping. She and her Daddy have a competition going with Will to see who can catch the most mice. Every morning, she runs her “trap line” to see if there are any victims ~ if there aren’t; it’s all Daddy’s fault. :)

Kathleen is an exuberant 8. She took piano lessons this year, and once she decides she will practice, may get to take them again someday. :) She too, went to the production of Annie ~ and along with Laura was *amazed* that I knew what song they sing! (The sun will come out, tomorrow…) Kathleen was a raccoon as well in Little Red Riding Hood, and thoroughly enjoyed herself. In October we attended the Mother/Daughter Tea and Kathleen had a grand time afterward, when the little girls were invited up to the piano for a hymn sing. She loves to sing! Kathleen is currently in Ballet/Tap lessons, and so spends a good deal of time pirouetting around the house.

Logan is 12 this year. He had his first big game hunting season, and although he did get a shot off, he didn’t bag anything. :( Let’s see. Logan’s year consisted of a cut hand, which needed 11 stitches ~ to the tune of over $700! (Let me just suggest if you need stitches, to avoid the ER if at all possible!) In July, he attended our church’s camp in Montana, and he came home with some profound questions and thoughts in his head ~ we were very pleased with how he responded to the Spirit’s prompting. In August, he too participated in MCT. Logan was the Little Loveable Wolf, who, despite what you may have heard, was the *real* villain ~ not his big brother, the Big Bad Wolf! Logan did a GREAT job, and the directors encouraged us to try to find more opportunities for him to be able to act as he really has a talent for it. Once school started, Logan played his first year of football. He is on the small side, but he did a great job, always doing just what his coaches wanted.

At 14, Garth is becoming quite the athlete. This year, there was a Little League team in Plummer, so he was able to play baseball. He pitched and did quite well. Then, in June, he broke his foot playing a pick-up game of basketball. He then worked in the firework stand and proved himself to be a salesman as well (must be in the blood). In football, he QB’d the middle school team, leading them to an undefeated season. He shot a nice little doe, adding food to the freezer, and in a moment of understated heroism, put out a fire in the dining room that Si managed to start (burning up a pair of overalls waiting repair and charring the table).

Levi is 16 and a licensed driver! He decided this spring that he would do track, and so, he ran the 200M, and on the relay team and did the triple and long jump. He did alright, considering he had never done any of those things before. Then began BFS (Bigger, Faster, Stronger), a weight training program, and both Levi and Will, and to a lesser degree Garth and Logan participated in it. We have seen a tremendous difference in their sports since BFS began. When Ezra was born, both Levi and Will really stepped up to the plate and took care of Josiah the week we were in the hospital, while the rest of the clan stayed with Pak and Grammie. In July, Levi went to the big Creation festival at the Gorge in George. Its 4 days of Christian concerts and “lectures” in the heat of central Washington. He had a great time. In August football began and Levi had a great year. He is a running back and he ended up being one of the leading rushers in the state with 1426 yards, and scoring 90 points for his team. He has worked a lot of odd jobs, but is now also working at the local hardware store.

Will is now officially an adult! Yes, he turned 18 this year. How did *that* happen?!? :) In the spring, he coached Garth’s baseball team, and did a really good job. I was a little concerned as he can be a *little* on the bossy side at home, (1st born tendency????) but he really did a good job of working with the kids ~ even Garth. :) Will also had a great football season, playing guard and middle linebacker. He was one of the leading tacklers in the state, making 142 tackles for the season. BFS really benefited Will, not only in strength, but also in speed. Both Will and Levi made All League this year. After turning 18, Will had the opportunity to apply for a part-time job with the local Post Office. He was hired, and in a year will have the opportunity to test for a clerk position. We were really excited by this opportunity for him. Will is an outstanding young man, who is well thought of in the community and we are really proud of him.

My year has been a blessed one! Full of traveling to sporting events ~ I try to get to every game, but I did fail to get to a few of the track meets. May was my big month, with the birth of Ezra. Can I just say that a c-sec is a terrible way to have a baby? I am sooo thankful for the Drs that have the skills to deliver babies surgically, but it sure is a difficult way to get a baby into this world! I was not awake for Ezra’s birth because of difficulties with the epidural, but we know that was God’s hand of protection, because I hemorrhaged, and was in surgery for an hour after they delivered him. I *would not* have wanted to be conscious for that! Because of our difficult birth, I spent most of the summer just trying to recover and get my strength and energy back. I think that I am finally back to my normal state of tiredness ~ but what a blessed tiredness it is ~ it means that my home is full of children to love and nurture, and that my arms have a baby to hold.

Mike is now *really* old! :) LOL Just teasing! But, he’s not getting any younger! For the 1st time in 14 years, I can’t say that he’s still working at the store. In March, things came to a head, and he left. *That* was a stressful day at our house! However, God is wonderfully faithful, and two days after leaving the store, he had an interview with Warpath Corporation and had a better job than he had left. It is always amazing how things fall into place when it’s God’s timing. One of the great things about his job ~ besides the fact that they really appreciate him ~ is that they are very supportive of family and the kids in the community and they were more than happy to let him arrange his schedule in the fall so that he could continue to coach Middle School Football.

Well, that’s pretty much our year. One full of difficulties and blessings, but mostly blessings. Time and again we have witnessed God's faithfulness to us as a family, and I am continually in awe of His great love for us. May you be blessed as you reflect on the many blessings in your own life, knowing that He loved you enough to send His one and only son to die on a cross so that you could have eternal life.

It's a GRAND OPENING!

2008-12-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

It's a Grand Opening! Modest Mamas Boutique is now open for business! Featuring gently used maternity and nursing clothing in feminine, modest styles. Good prices too! :-)

Be sure and hop on over and check it out.

Not expecting or nursing a baby right now? Take a look anyway and see if you'd like to recommend it to someone who is.

We're running a Grand Opening special of free shipping on domestic orders until December 15.

Black Friday Sale at Vision Forum

2008-11-26T21:24:00.000-08:00

Vision Forum is having a Black Friday sale. This is a great opportunity to get some wonderful resources for living out a vision of a godly family, good quality toys for boys and girls, and wonderful story books.

Buy two, get one free ~ be sure and take advantage of this great sale ~ AND miss out on the Black Friday crowds!

You can shop Vision Forum by clicking the banner at left. Thank you!

Prayer Alert for Noah

2008-11-21T14:34:00.001-08:00

Please be in prayer for little Noah. They are having to pull his broviac. They think that this is possibly the culprit in the infection he is fighting, but they just don't know for sure.

Here is a link to his family's blog, where you can read straight from his Mama what's going on.

Thank you!

Thrifty Thursday ~ Shampoo and Conditioner

2008-11-20T08:34:00.000-08:00

This may seem like a silly thing to be thrifty about, but if you have a very large family (or even just very long hair) these are items that can rack up cost rather quickly.

My hair is a little longer than waist length and it is of a texture that I *have* to use conditioner on it. And, I can't use just any conditioner, because some are just not effective in keeping it from tangling. Cost doesn't really seem to be a determiner, expensive might be just as bad as el cheapo when it comes to tangling. However, even Suave can get spendy when you use it every day.

I realize some of you may not wash your hair everyday, but I need my shower! :-D It's a short period of time each day when I am alone, and I can just relax under the hot water or take time to pray uninterrupted. I have also never really been able to do much with my hair once it is dry, so I always do my "styling" (braid, bun, etc) while my hair is wet.

Okay. On to the "thrifty tip". I wish I could give credit where it is due, but it's been so long since I read this tip, that I honestly don't remember which website I got it from. However, if you have time and are so inclined, I would encourage you to look up different hair care sites, there are many of them and they have some neat hair care tips. I only use a tiny amount of shampoo. Somewhere I read that if you are getting suds (and weren't we trained that a good shampoo suds-up?) you are using too much shampoo! I also only shampoo my scalp. Once every 3 months or so I will wash the full length of my hair, but for the most part, I just wash my scalp. The length of my hair is cleaned by the shampoo as I rinse it. It truely does work! I bought a "family size" bottle of Suave shampoo the beginning of September and I am probably not even a third of a way through the bottle ~ *that's* savings!

In contrast, I only condition the length of my hair ~ not my scalp. I still use more conditioner than shampoo (there's a lot of length to my hair), but not the amount I was using before.

I believe that my hair is in better condition now than before I changed the way I washed it. There has to be less soap build-up, just because I'm not using the amount of soap I used to, and my scalp is healthier because it's not getting extra oils from the conditioner that it doesn't need.

This will even make expensive shampoos and conditioners affordable ~ if you can break the cost down over several months. And if you are already using inexpensive brands, this will break the cost down to just pennies!

Just one more place to cut a corner, but still get the job done well. ;-)

How Do You Do It All?

2008-11-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

I was asked this question yesterday, and so, while I realize there may be some of you without children at home that read this blog, I wanted to address this question here, as I hope there are younger women reading that may be wondering this and that can be ministered to by reading here today.

With 8 children, this is a question I get every once in a while. :-) The honest answer is, I don't! In the spirit of complete transparency, this is something that I continually struggle with. While growing up, household matters didn't mean much to me. I loved my horse, and had every intention of spending my life raising and training horses, so why did I need to learn how to organize, clean, cook, etc.? Well, I have mastered cooking! And interestingly, in the smaller things, I really am pretty organized, but overall, I am not. (Still haven't totally figured out how that works, but...) So, often my house is cluttered, the floor might need to be swept, there are dishes in the sink, and there is laundry waiting to be done. However, I do have my moments, and my housekeeping skills really have improved over the years. So, I will share what I have discovered and what I am still working on.

My first encouragement is to keep a good attitude. This can be extremely difficult! It is so easy to slip into martyr mode. "I just swept that floor and now you've tracked mud in!" Try, as much as you can, to keep your focus off of yourself. Be creative in thinking of ways that your responsibilities can be made joyful and not "chores". Do them as unto the Lord ~ because that is what Scripture commands us to do ~ in *everything*. If your children are little, spend time just enjoying them ~ you do not realize how quickly this time will go. Before you know it, you'll be watching them leave, ready to start their own households. In the moment, it often seems as if time is dragging, but trust me; it's not!

Next, determine what is *most* important to get done. Sit down with your beloved and see if there are one or two things that just say, "clean house" to him ~ and determine to make sure those are done everyday. Then, decide if there is something that just really pulls on you if it's undone. Does a sinkful of dirty dishes make you feel defeated? Then make sure they get done! Do you feel overwhelmed if there is more than a load or two of laundry waiting? Then make sure the laundry gets done. The reason for this is simple. If you have a newborn, or two or more little ones, you very likely are not going to get everything done. So, you want to prioritize what needs to get done for your beloved's comfort and your sanity. Remember, you want your home to be a haven for him when he gets home from work.

After you figure out what needs to get done, then determine to let your little ones help. :-O I know, it can be scary! And, it will take longer. However. Your children will not be children forever. You are training them to be adults. This doesn't mean that they never get to play, but it does mean that they learn to contribute to the household. Even a child as young as 15 months can learn to pick their toys up. As soon as they are mobile and understanding what is said to them, you should begin training. Be simple and direct and work alongside of them. Josiah is 2 1/2. If I say to him, "Pick your toys up." Nothing happens. If I say, "Si, pick up your boots. Now put them in your basket." He picks up his boots and puts them in his shoe basket. The same goes with the rest of his things. Little ones long to spend time with you and to help. Take advantage of that and train them while they are young. Initially it will take longer to complete your tasks, but in the long run, it will free you up. It's also important because sooner or later, you may find yourself out-numbered! This is not a bad thing, however, it is nigh unto impossible for one person to keep up with multiple people's clutter, especially when there is laundry, cooking, and possibly schooling to get done as well. Planning is important, because if a little person is helping you peel potatoes, it will take longer to get supper on the table. You may also have to lower your standards somewhat. Not that you shouldn't encourage them toward the best they can do ~ but a little person isn't going to sweep as thoroughly as an adult, but it will come in time.

As they get old enough, start turning some responsibilities completely over to them. When my older boys were about 8 and 9, I taught them how to do laundry. I gave them a day of the week, and they were responsible to get their own laundry done. Now, all 4 older boys take care of their own laundry. This doesn't mean that I never do their laundry, but for the most part, I don't. I still have plenty of laundry to do, mine and my Beloved's, the girls', Si and Ezra's and the household laundry; but it helps tremendously that the older 4 boys can take care of their own. Wow, reading what I just wrote, I realize it's time for Kathleen to learn to do laundy. This is something else I am discovering. I taught the older boys to help, but I haven't done a very good job with the younger ones! I had help already, so it just didn't occur to me. :-/ Now, the older boys have jobs and are in sports and are just gone: a lot. So, I am left with mess makers, but not mess cleaner-uppers. :-) So, we are working on this once more. Another laundry tidbit is to put a load in before going to bed. When you get up in the morning, switch it over to the dryer and start another load. I have a dryer which has a drop down door, so I fold clothes as I take them out of the dryer. That way, I never have baskets of clean but unfolded clothes sitting around. If the clothes in the dryer have been sitting for a while, I turn the dryer back on for a few minutes to fluff, and then fold.

Perhaps meals are what gives you fits, either because you don't like to cook or because your dealing with morning sickness or a new baby in the house. If so, then consider cooking for more than one meal at a time. If you are making a casserole, make 2 and put one in the freezer. My Grandma used to make huge batches of chili and freeze it, or it can be canned. You can make soup and freeze or can it. Our local market puts hamburger on reduced price about once a week. If I get into town on that day, I try to buy several packages. I'll bring the hamburger home and cook it all up, divide it into meal size portions and stick it in the freezer. Then it only has to be thawed and heated ~ it can be thrown into soup, a casserole, spaghetti sauce, etc. You can do the same thing with chicken. There are several different once a month cooking books out there, but you can do something similar without the book. If you can, spend a day or two canning up dry beans. They are cheaper than "canned" beans and if you home can them, you get all the convenience of store bought, but without the additives and for a fraction of the cost. Spend some time thinking about ways to make your time in the kitchen more efficient while still providing nutritious meals for your family.

Now obviously, things have to get done. If you have prioritized, and still are not getting to everything, then take one day a week and make sure some of the "leftover" things are getting done as well. But remember, the housework will be there tomorrow, this moment you have a sweet little one that wants nothing more than to sit on your lap and have you read a book, or to play with you, whether it be with toy cars or having a teddy bear tea. Don't miss your child's intimate moments because there was a little dust on the piano.

If you are an older mom, whether of many or a few, please take a moment and leave a comment sharing how you have "done it all". God has given you wisdom, share with us! Thank you.

Song of Solomon Devotion #8

2008-11-18T07:38:00.000-08:00

"O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the crannies of the cliff, let me seeyour face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet and your face lovely."Song of Solomon 2:14

Do you speak in loving ways to your husband? The Shulamite asks to see her lover’s face, to hear his voice, for they are sweet and lovely to her. Do you feel that way about your beloved? Do you speak with loving words to him? Or, do you mock him? Nag him? Tear him down verbally?

What would happen if you began to speak sweetly to your husband? If the tone of your voice is kind and loving, and your words encouraging, what impression would it make on your beloved? Would he be suspicious? Do you only speak that way when you want to manipulate him? If so, it might take a while before he realizes that you are sincere. You must persevere through his suspicion, because your own behavior has caused it. As he sees the reality of a sweet, loving wife, he will be more likely to act in a way that shows that he loves and cherishes you.

In the New Testament, we are taught that a wife is to respect her husband. “and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33b “Likewise, wives, be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives ~ when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” I Peter 3:1-2 (emphasis mine).

The Shulamite voices her approval of her husband to her husband. She wisely understands the value of not merely stroking his ego, but of genuinely complimenting and speaking in a loving way to him. When you speak in a loving manner to your husband, it is a way of respecting him. What man would not respond well to respect and sweet words from his wife? This is something that can take some thought and foresight to do. We live in a society that continually puts men down, and we rarely if ever, in "entertainment" see wives that behave in a respectful way to their husband. And so, when we desire to live in a godly way with our husband, we find ourselves short of examples. Until we look to scripture, and if we are very blessed, some real-life examples in our lives.

"Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to thebody." Proverbs 16:24

I want my words to be sweetness and health to my beloved. I desire for my words to be gracious. It is important that as wives, you and I realize one of our top priorities is to be our husband's biggest cheerleader. Who else will he turn to when he's had a lousy day at work? Where else will he go when he's experienced a failure, or hit a 'home-run' at work, or at play? We should desire for him to come to us above all others, except, of course, the Lord. Men need to be admired, and respected, and if they don't get it from their wives, they will find it somewhere else. Possibly from their mother, or a secretary, or some other woman who finds them attractive. You want to be the one to fill his needs. This is what you were created for, this is the man you were created to help.

The Bible is full of verses that speak to the way we use our tongue. Look in a concordance, and read these verses as if they are speaking directly to your relationship with your husband. Is it convicting? More than likely. God gives us the instruction we need, we just need to look for it. Once again, I encourage you to renew your mind. And, speak with gracious, sweet words to your beloved.

PRAYER
Father God,
I am convicted by how often my words are not gracious or sweet to my dear husband. I ask Father, for Your forgiveness. I pray that You would enable me to harness my tongue, and to speak sweet words of truth, and life to my beloved. I pray Father, that (insert your husband's name) would feel blessed to have me as his helpmeet. Mold me Father, into the supportive, encouraging wife that he needs me to be. Amen.

Please Pray for Noah!

2008-11-16T14:28:00.000-08:00

I have asked for prayers for baby Noah before. I come to you again, asking that you lift this precious little boy and his family before the Throne of Grace. Noah is very sick and being admitted once again to the hospital.

Here is the link to their blog, so you can read what Noah's Mama has to say.

Thank you!

Recipe Share Friday ~ Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

2008-11-14T12:10:00.000-08:00

This recipe comes from a book called, The Yellow Farmhouse Cookbook by Christopher Kimball. I changed it slightly when I made them, but they disappear quickly, so my changes must be good!

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 1/2 c rolled oats
2 sticks butter, softened but still firm
3/4 c granulated sugar
3/4 c packed brown sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 tsp baking powder
12 ounces chocolate chips *
4 ounces grated semisweet chocolate *
1 1/2 c chopped pecans or walnuts *
(* These three ingredients I left out! In their stead I added 1 c milk chocolate mini MM's and about 3/4 c caramel chips)

1. Heat oven to 350*. Place oats in a blender or food processor and blend until very fine. (I blended until it was basically flour consistency).
2. With an electric mixer, beat the butter and both sugars until light, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time and beat 20 seconds after each addition. Add the vanilla and beat for another 15 seconds to blend.
3. Whick together the flour, processed oats, baking powder, and salt. With a large rubber spatula or wooden spoon, blend the dry ingredients into the butter mixture. (This will be difficult since the batter is very stiff.) [I blended the dry ingredients into the butter mixture with my mixer, not by hand.] Add the chocolate chips, grated chocolate, and nuts. (The easiest method of grating chocolate is to use a heavy-duty food processor, fitted with the metal blade.)
4. Form dough into balls about 2 inches in diapmeter and place on a baking sheet covered with parchment paper. (The parchment paper is optional). [I just dropped the dough by spoonfuls. I also chose not to use parchment and it was fine.] Bake 14 to 15 minutes on the middle rack or until the bottoms are lightly browned. The cookies should still feel a bit soft at this point. (They will not spread very much and will look undercooked. Do not over-cook or they will become hard and dry when they cool.) They will harden as they cool. Removed from oven and let cookies cool for 2 minutes on the baking sheet before removing to cooling racks. Cool at least 30 minutes before serving. (Good luck with that last one! HA!! ;-) )

Makes 30 - 36 large cookies.

I got about 40 cookies and they were medium-ish sized. Those didn't make it through the evening.

Enjoy!

Thrifty Thursday ~ Cloth Diapers

2008-11-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

I've been looking for more ways to be frugal in my desire to be a good steward of the money my Beloved earns. Right now we have two in diapers. Have you bought diapers lately? They are expensive! A tour of cloth diaper sites educates one rather quickly that cloth diapers are not a very inexpensive option either. When we very first did cloth diapers 8 years ago, I think we bought either 18 or 24 diapers and we figured they would pay for themselves in about 4 months. They were one size snap diapers and I loved them. However, when our next baby was born, they were starting to get thread bare and I couldn't find the same diapers anymore. We ended up going back to disposable. Now, cloth diapers are apparently "chic" ~ at least according to their prices!

I love the snaps, but they do not fit every baby well ~ they are only so adjustable. I greatly dislike Aplix, finding that even those with fold-over tabs still end up getting stuck together in the wash. I have thought about making diapers in the past, however I don't have a snap setter, and I didn't really want to spend the time and effort on diapers that are going to be outgrown rather quickly.

One day, about a month ago, I was blog surfing, and came across a pinnable, one size pocket diaper. The Rita's Rump Pocket Diaper was just what I was looking for! So far, I have made 20 of these diapers. I bought flannel sheets at the thrift store. One full size flat sheet will make 10 diapers. I was able to get 4 diapers out of a twin size sheet. The cost for my 20 diapers was about $6. For the doublers, I am using micro fiber towels bought in the automotive department at WalMart. They come in packs of 8 for $5. And for the covers I am just using the old fashioned Gerber pull on pants. I also have some Dappi covers, and will probably get more, I just haven't ordered any yet. We've only been using them for about a week, but they are working out quite well. I bought a couple more sheets the other day and would like to make at least 10 more diapers (remember, I am diapering 2!)

Here is Si in one of the diapers. He weighs about 30 lbs at 2 1/2. Isn't he cute? :-) This diaper has 2 towels folded into thirds in the pocket. I have found that 1 towel just isn't enough lining. Josiah has only worn the cloth once so far. I still have disposables in his size, so we're finishing those before we switch over to cloth. But, he did model for me, and got to wear this one to bed. It must have felt nice, because this morning when I changed him, he wanted cloth (after spending the night in disposable). For wipes, I bought the inexpensive washcloths that come in packs of 18 for about $4. I just have them folded at the changing table, and if needed, we just take them to the bathroom, get them wet and clean up baby. This is sooo much nicer than wipes! They are warm, and they clean so much better!

And here's Ezra. Isn't he adorable?? :-) Six months old now, he weighs 20 lbs. He's been liking his cloth diapers. Oh, I forgot to mention, these pin together with just one pin. Which is really nice. Ezra is a challenge to get changed ~ once you get his diaper off, his toes go into his mouth, and it's difficult to get his feet out of his hands and get the clean diaper on!

One sewing forum I'm on even suggested that these diapers would make a great addition to a young lady's hope chest. I thought that was a marvelous idea.

They went together very quickly. The curves are sweeping enough that I was able to cut them out with my rotary cutter, and was able to cut 2 diapers at a time ~ I did cut out 4 diapers once, but that was really a bit much for the cutter! I then sewed them assembly line style, so I was doing all the zigzagging at once, then all the top stitching at once, etc. The other thing I really love about them is that I was able to get plaid sheets, so they look *so* boyish!

Anyway, if you're looking for an easy way to save money, and you've got a baby or two in diapers, this is it. Have fun sewing!

Thrifty Thursday ~ Food Stores

2008-11-06T18:20:00.000-08:00

One of the things a godly wife does, is to provide food for her family. She may garden, forage, hunt, butcher animals she's raised, or go to a grocery store. I believe that also includes putting up stores of food. We have a pantry that is built into our home, and I have added to it by re-purposing bookshelves to use for food storage.

I enjoy canning. I love walking into my pantry and seeing the shelves lined with food ~ cans that have been bought at a good price, and jars that my labor has provided.

This year, with Ezra being born in May by c-section, we didn't have a garden, and in August, when it was time to be canning, I either didn't have time to stop and buy vegetables to can, or there wasn't money to do so. However, we have been getting food from some friends. They are set up as a receiver in a second harvest kind of deal. We are blessed to be one of the families they call when the food comes. It truely has been a blessing! One week, there was an abundance of green beans ~ I was able to put up 25 quarts of beans for free.

The following week we received a case of baby carrots ~ into jars those went, and I have 33 pints of canned carrots in my pantry ~ for nothing more than my labor. I have also been able to make jam from some of the fruit we have received. I am so thankful that God has provided food for our family through the winter! It brings a feeling of comfort and security ~ we live 10 miles from the closest grocery store, and in the winter, we can't always get out, so knowing that there is food in the freezer (or will be soon, with hunting season!), and food in the pantry makes me less anxious about snow and/or ice. What a blessing to know that if things are tight, we will still eat fairly well.

I still have some stocking up to do, and do try to add to my pantry stock a little each paycheck. That way, it never takes a large sum of money to stock up. With now 5 hunters in the family, there should be several deer in our freezer within the month, and we're going halves with my folks on a pig ~ which is good, because Levi eats a *lot* of bacon!

Part of the Uniform

2008-11-01T12:05:00.001-07:00

One of the lovely items that we have the priviledge of wearing as Keepers at Home is the apron. Aprons come in all shapes and sizes, but my favorites are the ones that cover my torso as well as my skirt. I have one that belonged to my great-grandmother, and I love to wear it. She was a beautiful, smart, creative, talented lady and I like to think that putting on her apron helps get my creative juices flowing!

I particularly like aprons that harken back to a gentler, slower time. Jennie Chancey over at Sense and Sensibility Patterns has created a beautiful Edwardian apron pattern. It is a lovely, ladylike pattern that will cover your clothes well. While this is not a "new" pattern, what is new is that it, along with several other Sense and Sensibility patterns are now available in e-format. That means that you can take advantage of having a whim to sew and getting your pattern within minutes!

If you are interested in checking out the new e-patterns and/or Jennie's paper patterns, you can Click here to view more details or click on the link in the sidebar.

A Challenge For You

2008-10-22T09:12:00.000-07:00

I want to challenge you to take a challenge! :-)

Do you honor and respect your beloved? Could you do better? Revive our hearts has a 30 day Husband challenge. I started it on Monday.

In it you are challenged to speak only positively to and about your husband, to pray for him, to relate to him in honoring and encouraging ways. Are you up for it?

There are two formats, you can either print it out, or you can sign up for daily emails. Take advantage of this wonderful little tool to improve your relationship with your beloved ~ even if it's already good. Just click on the link below and it will take you directly to the challenge page.

Revive Our Hearts Challenge

Thoughtful Thursday

2008-10-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it, with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates." Proverbs 31:10-31

Image courtesy of Snapshots of Joy

The Law of Kindness

2008-10-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Proverbs 31:26

This weekend, I took my daughters to the Christian Heritage Mother Daughter Tea. Deborah Brown, wife of Scott Brown was the speaker. We had a lovely time, visiting with dear friends, and talking with some aquaintances, and meeting some new ladies. Mrs. Brown's talks were very encouraging (because my daughters are still young!), but also very convicting. She talked about raising our daughters to be Proverbs 31 women, and of course to do that, we must be Proverbs 31 women as well.

I decided to share this this morning because while she was speaking primarily about raising daughters, being a wife is an integral part of that, and I have really been struggling in the Proverbs 31 department lately. In talking with some others, they have also been struggling and so I decided it might not just be limited to a few of us. It seems that fall is always a time of struggle around here (as well as other parts of the year!); I don't know if it's because through the summer things have been more relaxed and then when fall hits, not only are we doing school, but football season is in full swing and we are on the go *a lot*. When we are not home, we don't have any real sort of schedule, and it is more difficult to catch the "foxes" of misbehavior/bad attitudes, and discipline suffers, and Mama's attitude suffers (I've also noticed now that we have adult and nearly adult children that their attitude tanks somewhat as well).

I have been thinking for at least a month (probably longer), that I need to be in the Word more, that I need to be thinking on the Scriptures throughout the day because I am not the wife and mama I need to be, let alone want to be. Then came Saturday. As Mrs. Brown read through Proverbs 31, I was... not crushed ~ God doesn't do that, but I was certainly wounded as I listened to those words of wisdom and realized how far off the mark I am. In the physical things, surely. My home is in disarray ~ while I do have the "excuse" of c-sec. recovery, a baby and toddler (one of which is fairly demanding of my time), and just flat out being out-numbered, in the end, that's all those are: excuses. I have allowed my lazy nature to grab ahold of those things and my household has suffered. My younger children have not been trained well because I had older children to do some of these things and it was easier to let that happen than to train the younger. Only now, my older children have jobs outside the home and they are playing sports, and they are not home to help very much, and I am left with children that really only know how to make messes and not clean up very well.

Worse than that however, is how far off the mark I am with my attitude. The verse I started this post with was particularly convicting. NKJV, phrases it, "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." Prov. 31:26 Ouch!

I have allowed the state of my heart to resemble the state of my home. It is disheveled and disorderly. I am short, impatient and far too often, unkind words proceed from my mouth. Not to my Beloved so much, but certainly, too often. However, my children are with me day in and day out and they bear the brunt of my sin. As I realize this and think about it, it makes my heart ache. I see it in their faces, and in how they then treat each other.

How thankful I am that in Christ there is no condemnation! Romans 8:1 tells us, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." That doesn't mean we don't do wrong, that we aren't convicted of sin; what it means is that we are forgiven and we can start fresh! I am so glad that each morning we are presented with a new day, full of possibilities and the strength of the Lord. I have not been in God's Word as I should, which means that I am trying to be a godly wife and mother in my own strength ~ which doesn't work particularly well. Did you read that? I am trying to be a godly wife, without the help of God. On my own. How arrogant is that? How ridiculous?

So. Tonight, after we're home and things are quiet, I am going to go to my Beloved and apologize to him for not being the wife he needs me to be. I am going to talk to him about what changes need to happen around here. Then, in the morning, I am going to gather the children (some of whom are not really children anymore), and apologize to them for how sinful I have been lately. I am going to ask for their forgiveness, and then we are going to talk about how the law of kindness is going to be on *all* our tongues. For they too, have gotten to be terrible in this area, but I know that much of this is because of the broken example I have set.

I'll probably be mulling over some of the other points she made as the days go on, but this is the most immediate point in my mind right now. I am so thankful that God has the wonderful ability to convict and encourage us at the same time. That we serve a God of forgiveness, and that when I am convicted of sin I am not left in despair, but know that there is forgiveness and restoration. That each moment is full of it's own possibilities and I don't have to wait until tomorrow or next week, but now, in this moment, I can ask for forgiveness and change my course.

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You may be justified in Your words and blameless in Your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being, and You teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit." Psalm 51:1-12

A Refreshing Place to Visit

2008-10-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

I wanted to encourage you today to go and visit the Revive Our Hearts website. I have found it to be a refreshing place to visit on the world-wide web. For years I have appreciated Nancy Leah DeMoss's ministry. She is not afraid to say the hard things, and is an unapologetic teacher of the truth.

There are many things to enjoy there, from beautiful desktop wall papers to 30 Day Challenges designed to help you grow as a godly woman. You can even sign up for daily emails that are designed for your encouragement.

Enjoy and be challenged!

Be a Hedge-Builder

2008-10-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

"And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home; now in the street, now in the market, and at every corner she lies in wait. She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him, "I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows, so now I have come out to meet you, to seek you eagerly, and I have found you. I have spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen; I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home, he has gone on a long journey; he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home." With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him." Proverbs 7:10-21

As I read this portion of Scripture this morning, I was struck by the lengths to which the adulteress goes to to seduce the man. And God spoke to my heart and said, "There is nothing new under the sun." The adulteress is still lying in wait. Most men who are working outside of their homes are confronted continually (intentionally or otherwise) by "seductive" women. Women who are hungry for the attention of men. Perhaps they flirt, maybe they innocently seek advice (and in so doing, show honor and/or respect), or they may be dressed in such a way that can potentially cause a man to stumble.

And then the question came to me, "Am I willing to go to the same kind of lengths to keep my man happy at home? Am I willing to be a 'hedge' of protection for him?" I don't mean acting or dressing like a prostitute, but as I read these verses, I see things that the adulteress is doing that I could/should be implementing within my own home.

"She seizes him and kisses him..." I need to be physical with my Beloved. Hugs and kisses when he gets home from work. Rubbing his shoulders after a hard day's work, or just sitting next to him and laying my head on his shoulder. As he 're-enters' the home after being gone all day, am I helping him reconnect to me in a physical way?

"...now I have come out to meet you, to seek you eagerly, and I have found you..." This ties in with the above. Does my Beloved know that I eagerly await him? Do I stop whatever I am doing when he arrives home and greet him at the door ~ or maybe even greet him before he gets to the door? If he finds me in the laundry room, folding clothes, instead of at the door, do I convey joy at seeing him? Do I show an interest in how his day has gone or do I start in with how my day has gone? Piling more upon him instead of helping to lighten his load of cares.

"I have spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen..." What does my bedroom look like? Is it the depository for every "orphaned" article in the house? Are there piles of laundry (dirty or clean) lying about? Is it neat and tidy? Is the bed made, or is it a pile of rumpled covers? Are the bed linens in good condition or are they thread bare? I need to do what I can to make my bedroom a sanctuary ~ a romantic hideaway. This doesn't mean that I spend lots of money, but good quality (or at least, good condition), sheets, blankets, etc. can be found inexpensively anywhere from ebay to thrift stores to yard sales. It means that I am going to make the effort to keep our room peaceful. That may mean that I have pegboard on the walls to organize his tools, or it may mean that I have lush fabrics and lots of candles, to anything in-between. Neat, tidy, peaceful ~ these things will be more conducive to intimacy and will let my Beloved know that he is a priority to me.

"I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon..." Do I engage all the senses? Scent can affect us in different ways. It can make us queasy, it can make us hungry, it can repel us, it can draw us in, it can make us feel romantic. Am I seeking out scents for my bedroom that will encourage intimacy? Room sprays, candles, potpourri ~ perhaps even a late evening dessert of tea and a delicious treat that not only tastes good, but smells heavenly as well. Vanilla and cinnamon have long been considered aphrodisiacs, so maybe some cinnamon rolls are in order?

"Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love." Am I willing to spend long periods of time making love to my Beloved? All night? In the morning? Do I delight in his love? Does he *know* I delight in his love? Or does he think that it's a chore for me; one more thing to check of my "to-do" list? I struggle so often with this. As a homeschooling Mama of 8, 2 of which are nurslings (who don't sleep through the night!), and not as young as I used to be, I often find myself tired, and just wanting to sleep when I get to bed. It is difficult to keep a good attitude and delight in my Beloved. God has really been speaking to me about this lately. I need to get back into the Word, and see what God says about marriage and intimacy. I need to pray more about my attitude; I need to ask for His enabling when it comes to my marriage relationship. My Beloved needs to know not only that I love, honor and respect him, but that I desire him. He needs to know that I am doing more than just meeting his needs, but that I am delighting in our lovemaking. I need to be a hedge-builder because I love him so deeply.

Father God,
I pray that You would enable me to love my Beloved as You intend. I ask that You will help me to have more than a good attitude, that I would not just be meeting the physical needs of my Beloved, but that I would long for times of intimacy with him. Make me the wife he needs me to be. Let me be a deep well, from which he is continually refreshed. Infuse our marriage with love, respect, and passion, I pray.

I ask this in the Precious Name of Jesus, amen.

Thoughtful Thursday

2008-10-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

A timely and good reminder for godly wives. Submit, respect, honor ~ glorify God in all your actions.

Image courtesy of Snapshots of Joy.

A Reminder To Pray For Your Beloved

2008-09-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted a Pray for your beloved post. Sorry! Things are crazy around here right now with football ~ we've got 3 games a week for the next couple or three weeks.

However, I just want to remind you to be in prayer for your beloved. He needs your prayers! You can pray more effectively for him than anyone else in the world. You know him, his strengths, his weaknesses, his needs intimately, so lift him up! Be his Aaron and Hur(Exodus 17:8-13), and uphold him before the Lord. Be his support and help him live victoriously.

So far, we have prayed for:

Spiritual Growth
Integrity
Leadership
Sacrificial Love
Trust in the Lord
Generosity (There are 3 posts on this, I have only linked to the first)
Turning His Heart Toward His Children

If you know your beloved specifically needs prayer in any of these areas, go ahead and reread my posts on them ~ they all contain Scripture that can help as prayer prompts.

Please Pray for Noah

2008-09-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

Please be praying for Noah Estes. As I was checking my email this morning, I saw there was an update on their blog. It was an emergency prayer request.

"We are rushing to the Greenville ER. Noah is vomiting, shaking uncontrollably, and running a fever of 103.5. He is extremely sick. Please ask everyone you know to pray. I'll update when I can. Kate"

To keep updated on Noah, or to find out more about him, you can click through to their blog from the Prayers for Noah button to the left.

Thank you!

Appreciating My Man

2008-09-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

I believe it's important to recognize and appreciate the things that our beloveds do. So, I wanted to share about my darling.

I woke up this morning to horses in my pasture! "So?" You may ask, "Isn't that where horses belong?" Well, yes. However, our fences are, shall we say, suggestive. Meaning, they suggest to the horses that they should remain in the pasture, but the horses (the mares in particular) haven't been "listening" very well lately. So, every morning I wake up to my old gelding whinnying, wondering where his mares went. It's been very stressful for me to say the least. With a 4 month old fussy baby, I haven't been able to get out and do any fence fixing on my own, and although my 16 year old son has worked on them, we've not been successful in keeping them in.

My Beloved and I have talked at great length what to do, but with limited resources, most of our ideas haven't really seemed to be much of a fix. Well, last night, after football practice, my Beloved came home and worked on the fence. He got out the fence charger and got everything hooked up and electrified. And now, the horses are listening when the fence says, "Stay!" :-)

This may not seem like a big deal, but my Beloved grew up in town, and not on a farm. Being on a farm is much more my dream than his, and so, the "animal" chores are not ones that he particularly cares for. So, it is a big deal that he took the time to take care of something that was causing me so much distress.

I was so overjoyed to not have to run out in my nightie and call horses in this morning! I called my Beloved and let him know how appreciative I was/am.

So. Let me encourage you today to find something about your beloved to be appreciative about and tell him ~ and someone else.

Quick Apology

2008-09-03T07:31:00.000-07:00

Just a short post to apologize for not posting much last week or this. We've had the stomach flu here, and between sick children (and husband!), a fussy baby, and trying to get things ready for school starting, I just haven't had time to even think about posts, let alone get any written. I hope to be able to post later in the week, or at least by Monday.

Thanks for hanging in there!

Song of Solomon Devotion #7

2008-08-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Song of Solomon 2:7

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Song of Solomon 3:5

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Song of Solomon 8:4

We’ve already talked about some of the ways that we awaken love before it should be. We are willing to take a cheap imitation, that is attractively packaged, rather than waiting for the most beautiful, holy gift of married love. We also talked about regaining a position of purity before Christ.

Perhaps, you’re thinking, “No, it’s too late, you don’t understand.” Maybe you lived with your husband before you were married. Maybe you lived with more than one man before you were married, or you’ve been married more than once. Maybe you had one or more children out of wedlock, or had an abortion. It doesn’tmatter. Are you a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ? Romans 8:1 says, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” that means that Christ’s blood covers those sins. If you have asked for forgiveness, you have it! (I John 1:9) Does that mean you won’t have to live with the consequences of those decisions? No. God never promises to spare us the consequences of sin, but, we can live free from the guilt and condemnation.

Maybe you’re reading this and realize that you do not know Jesus as your Savior. You desire forgiveness. You are grieved by the sin in your life. You try hard to live a good life, but your past haunts you. First off, know that you can never do enough good to get you to heaven. Romans 3:10 says, “as it is written:“None is righteous, no, not one;”

You have to realize that you are a sinner, and that there is nothing you can do to earn entrance to heaven. But, there is good news! Romans 5:8 tells us, “but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God sent His only Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross ~ as a perfect sacrifice for your sins. But, it doesn’t end there. Three days later, Jesus rose from the dead! He conquered sin and death, so you can have eternal life. His sacrifice on the cross, is a free gift. It’s being offered to you, will you take it?

Ask Jesus to come into your heart and to be your Lord and Savior. Tell him you know you’re a sinner and ask forgiveness for those sins.You now need to tell someone you’ve received Christ as your Savior. Romans10:9-10 states, “because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.” Now, according to scripture, you are a new creation, the old has passed away! (2Corinthians 5:17)

Congratulations, and welcome to the family!

PRAYER

Father God,
I am awed by how deeply You love me. That You would love me and pursue me even when I was dead in sin and Your enemy is unbelievable to me. Thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for me. I praise You that He was raised from the dead. Thank You, Father, for choosing me to be Your child. Enable me to learn from Your Word, and bless me with godly women to mentor me.

Amen

Song of Solomon Devotion #6

2008-08-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Song of Solomon 2:7

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Song of Solomon 3:5

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
Song of Solomon 8:4

Three times within the Song, the Shulamite warns against awakening love too soon. This is a real danger within the society that we live. Many things can ‘awaken’ love too soon, and, as a result, pervert our view of true love.

We live in a society full of pornographic or near-pornographic images used to sell everything from toothpaste to auto parts. Although it is true that men in particular are targeted with this type of advertising, women are not immune to it. Women are also susceptible to other forms of ‘awakenings’, through the written word, and through relationships. We fall prey to images and ideas put forth in movies and on television. We wait in vain for our knight in shining armor, and when a good, and decent man comes our way, we don’t recognize him for what he is, because of what we have filled our minds with. We are bombarded by thoughts and images of what our society deems to be sensual, and because of that, we have a view of marriage and sex that is far from God’s design.

Some of us have had relationships before our marriage that were sinful. We thought God’s order was ‘old fashioned’ and we knew better. Living together seemed like a good idea at the time, and besides, everyone else was doing it. Maybe the man we lived with is the one we married, and yet, there are consequences to live with because we stepped outside of God’s will. We took His good and perfect gift of sexual love and contorted it into something it was never meant to be.

Emotional purity is just as important as physical purity, and yet, we often overlook it. Emotional purity is what we damage when we take in ideas about love and sex that are unbiblical. Emotional purity is destroyed when we look at other men, real or fiction, and desire for our husband to be more like that, instead of being satisfied with who he is. Emotional purity is damaged when we have unreal expectations for our marriage that come from books we read, or shows or movies we watch, or radio programs we listen to.

As a married woman, it may be that it’s too late for you to come to the marriage bed pure, but you can take steps to regain a position of purity and maintain it. Remember, emotional purity is damaged by what we choose to read, watch, and listen to. Do these things meet the requirements of Philippians 4:8? “Finally,brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever ispure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence,if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

What are you reading? Do you read romance novels? Do you realize what they do to your emotional purity? Secular romance novels, in particular, are little more than pornography for women. Many describe sexual scenes in detail. You may think, “Yes, but I’m just reading.” Would you walk into someone’s bedroom or stand at their window and watch while they were making love? Then why is reading about it okay? Romance magazines and the like are little better. Even some Christian novels set us up for emotional impurity, causing us to want our husband to be something he’s not, or to be someone that God never intended him to be. Evaluate your reading material against biblical principles and if what you’re reading doesn’t match up, toss it.

What do you watch? What kind of television programs? Soap operas? Once again,they are little more than pornography. Even if they weren’t, they are full of ungodly attitudes and relationships. Do you watch sitcoms? Do they show wives that are submissive and respectful? If not, beware your own attitude. What kind of movies do you watch? Are they full of adulterous relationships? Do they show marriage relations in an ungodly or unrealistic way? One other thingto be aware of, if you have a problem with body image, it is not going to be helped by watching any of the above.

Finally, what are you listening to? Do you listen to secular music that speaksof love gone wrong or of love outside the bounds of marriage? Maybe you listen to talk radio. What are they saying? Are you being encouraged to be a loving, respectful wife or to be the one who runs the show? Once again, I will give caution. Even listening to Christian radio will not ensure that what you’re hearing is biblical. How can you know? By opening up your Bible and being familiar with what it has to say.

You need to come to a place where you expect the Lord to fulfill your needs, and not expect your husband to be the be-all and end-all for you. You need to be satisfied with the husband God has given you, and you need to be content in your role as wife and, if God blesses you with children, as mother.

It is necessary to recognize the importance of emotional purity. I have spoken to women over the years who have been grieved by the fact that they were virgins only in the physical sense when they met their husband. All purity and innocence had been lost. If we have daughters, we need to jealously guard their purity, so that years from now they will not be filled with regrets. For ourselves, God is more than capable of renewing our minds and restoring us to purity.
PRAYER
Father God, I come before You, a holy and righteous God, and I ask Your forgiveness. Father, I realize that I have not kept my heart pure, and I know that grieves You. I see the effect that my sin has had on my marriage relationship, and it breaks my heart. Father, I ask that You would restore my heart to purity. I pray that You would enable me to be ever diligent over the things I read and watch and listen to. Help me Father, to avoid that which is damaging to my spiritual well-being and that which is displeasing to You.
Amen

Don't Take It Personal!

2008-08-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

How else can I be a "cool" thermostat? By learning to not take things personally.

What do I mean by that? Well, when your beloved leaves his dirty socks laying around instead of putting them in the dirty laundry, don't assume he's done it just to make your day more difficult. If your 5 year old spills milk on hte floor, don't react like she did it to mess up your freshly mopped kitchen. Get the idea?

Pick up that dirty laundry, mop that floor (again!) as though you were doing it for the Lord Jesus. "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Colossians 3:17

Remember that it's a joy and a priviledge to be a wife and mama! While it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, and take what we do for granted, we have a high and holy calling. As I allow the Lord to work in and through me, speaking in a loving and gracious way to my family, and as I serve them, I set the tone, and I teach them. Your beloved will be affected by the way you live. "Likewise, wives, be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives - when they see your respectful and pure conduct." 1 Peter 3:1-2

Your children will learn from how you live before them. The saying that more is caught than taught is true. You can teach them all you want about love and servanthood, but if you don't live it out (joyfully) before them, you are talking into the wind.

May God bless you as you go through your day, seeking to glorify Him.

Be A Cool Thermostat

2008-08-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention." Proverbs 15:18

This verse describes a relational thermostat. In most homes, that is the wife/mother. Which are you? Are you hot-tempered, stirring up strife in your home, or are you slow to anger, quieting things?

We need to be slow to anger. Our husbands and family need for us to be the quieting influence in the home. I have noticed more and more lately that if I get angry, the children are either uncomfortable, or they join in on picking at whoever I'm upset with. God has been making me more and more aware of the "temperature" I set in our home, and it hasn't been a pleasant experience. Too often I am reactionary, instead of being deliberate in my home. Being reactionary means that I tend to be loud and stir up strife. God is really starting to drive it home to me that I am not quiet enough. Ezra, who just turned 3 months does not handle noise very well ~ unfortunate for him in our household! Although the children's noise bothers him, he really does not deal well with me raising my voice. If he is crying and fussing, I have to take a moment, a deep breath, and as I pick him up, talk to him in a quiet, gentle voice. I feel like God is forcing the issue with me!

He desires for His daughters to be a calming influence. "But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit." 1 Peter 3:4 (emphasis mine). This does not mean that we have to speak in a quiet monotone without expression, but rather that we should be deliberate in how we communicate. We need to purpose ahead of time how we are going to respond to our beloved, or our children. Instead of storming through my day, I'm going to decide ahead of time to be the quiet center, the calm in the midst of the storm.

Some of us have a more temperate personality, so it's much easier to have a handle on it, while others are more mercurial in temperment. The only way we can truely live in a deliberate, calming way is to be rooted in the Scriptures and to spend time in prayer. It is only through the enabling of the Holy Spirit that we can live as godly wives.

Pray For Your Beloved ~ Turning His Heart Toward His Children

2008-08-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

"And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction." Malachi 4:6

God's desire is for a father's heart to be turned toward his children. I wondered what that meant exactly, and as I looked through the Scriptures, I found that fathers are told to instruct (Deut. 6:5; Eph. 6:4), give testimony to the workings of God (Ps. 78:1-8), and to discipline their children (Pr. 13:24, 29:17; Eph. 6:4). While they are doing this, they are to avoid provoking their children and causing discouragement (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21).

I don't know about you, but to me, that sounds like a full-time job! Some fathers are in the blessed position of owning their own business and being able to allow their children to work alongside of them. Many more work for others and don't have that freedom. Making it more difficult to do what God requires of them. Often we Moms will step in and take care of these things. While we obviously have a role in the training of our children, we need to be careful that we don't usurp our husband's responsibilities. We need to be in prayer that our husband's heart will be turned toward his children. We need to pray that God would inspire him in how best to fulfill his role when he is home. And then we need to step out of the way and let him.

Perhaps your children are grown. You can still pray for his heart to be turned toward his children. Adult children are still in need of love and support from their parents! If you have grandchildren, Grandpa can be a tremendous blessing in their lives. I am so thankful for the relationship that my children have with their "Pak" (Grandpa to the rest the world. ;-) ). He has so much that he is able to teach them, from hunting and trapping to public relations. I value the time they are able to spend with him.

Even if Dad or Grandpa are not believers they still have important things to impart. While being an unbeliever would make it difficult, if not impossible for him to fulfill some of the responsibilities mentioned, he is still responsible for instructing and disciplining.

One last reminder: don't nag, but pray! Let the Holy Spirit do His work in your beloved's life.

Some verses for meditating on as you pray for your beloved this week:
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deuteronomy 6:5-7

"Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God." Psalm 78:1-8

"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." Proverbs 13:24

"Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart." Proverbs 29:17

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

"Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." Colossians 3:21

Recipe Share Friday ~ Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies

2008-08-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

Since yesterday was our anniversary, I thought I would share a recipe that my Beloved developed. He's a pretty good cook, and enjoys baking cookies, he even considers himself something of an oatmeal cookie expert. So, here is his oatmeal cookie recipe ~ Enjoy!

Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies

1/2 C shortening
1/2 C butter
1 1/4 C peanut butter
1 C sugar
1 C brown sugar
2 eggs
1C flour
2 C oatmeal
salt
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

Cream together shortening and butter. Add sugars, vanilla, peanut butter and eggs, blending well. Mix in dry ingredients. Drop in small balls on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 375* for 7-9 minutes.

From This Day Forward ~ 19 Years Ago

2008-08-14T05:00:00.000-07:00

Today my Beloved and I have been married for 19 years. I have been married for half of my life. I remember being terrified before the wedding. I had never been a big "finisher" in my life, and I was almost overwhelmed with the thought of making a lifetime commitment. We had both come from homes of divorce, and I knew that that was *not* what I wanted.

Now, 19 years later, I can't imagine my life without this precious man walking by my side. Most days I can't believe that he loves me, and longs to be with me ~ though admittedly there are days when I wonder that I haven't killed him yet! ;-) We are human after all. LOL

God has used our marriage to stretch me, and grow me, and sanctify me. He has abundantly blessed our marriage with children, with mutual love and respect, and with a deep friendship. I enjoy spending time with my Beloved more than anyone else. God has grown him and changed him so much ~ brought him so far from who he was ~ and I stand in awe of my Creator God that loves us so much.

We have walked along the easy path, and we have hiked narrower, more precipitous paths; full of joys and the deepest of sorrows. Through it all, we have walked together, giving the grace to walk at a different pace, in a different way. And God has drawn us closer ~ to Himself and to each other.

Thank You, Lord; for blessing my life with Mike. I never could have chosen so well for myself.

Song of Solomon Devotion #5

2008-08-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

"As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the youngmen. With great delight I sat in his shadow and his fruit was sweet to mytaste, he brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Sustain me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am sick with love. Hisleft hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me!" Song of Solomon 2:3-6

Do I praise my lover? Not to others, but to him? Do I let him know how attractive I find him? Do I tell him what pleases me when we’re making love? Now, you may be thinking, “What?! Talk during S-E-X?” or “Talk about ‘it’?” But, how is your lover to know what you find most pleasurable if you won’t tell him? Your husband should be your closest, most intimate friend, and so, you should be able to talk to him about things that are most intimate. God created the sexual relationship to be a wonderful, enjoyable experience between a husband and wife. It is the physical aspect of the ‘one flesh’ mandate in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fastto his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Often, for a variety of reasons, a wife cheats herself of much of the enjoyment in lovemaking. We feel inhibited, because of sexual messages from our society, or our body image, or because of what we ‘think’ God says about sex, or because of past sexual sin. Now though, you are in a marriage relationship, the very place God designed sex for and the very place He intends for you to enjoy yourself. Once again, this is a place where we must renew our thinking. For some it will be a fairly easy process, for others it might take a long time. I have spent about eight years on the journey of renewing my mind about sex. It has not been an easy road. There have been times when it seemed for every step toward God’s ideal, there were two or three steps back. But, my desire has been to become a more godly wife and lover to my husband. As I have communicated this to him and been open about my struggles, he has been able to be supportive, and when necessary, patient with my progress.

As you make love to your husband, and discover what is pleasurable to you, and to him, you also need to praise his skill as a lover. God created men in such away that, for most of them, their feelings of being an adequate man and husband are closely tied to their prowess as a lover. So, lavish praise on him! If you are willing to be open with your husband about lovemaking, and you are willing to praise him as you make love, he will become a better lover. Remember too, that part of your enjoyment should be to make sure that he is getting as much pleasure as he can out of your lovemaking. There are times when I’m particularly tired, or I don’t feel good, or whatever, that lovemaking isn’t #1 on my list of things to do. But, when I get to bed, my Beloved is feeling amorous. At those times it is enough for me to know that I have filled a need for him, while giving him pleasure ~ joyfully. Remember ~ in the bedroom, attitude counts! Your husband knows whether or not your heart’s in it.

Finally, are you lovesick? When we look to the Hebrew, we see that the idea is of being weak and incurable. Do you have a case of incurable love that leaves you weak? If the answer is ‘no’, then why? Don’t look at your husband. Look to yourself. If you are not lovesick, it is because of choices you have made, not because of things your husband has or has not done. Choose today to let go of hurts you may be carrying around. Forgive ~ as often as you need to, and act in a loving way.

Practice the things we’ve already discussed. Think about your husband as your lover throughout the day, praise qualities you know others find admirable, tend to your ‘vineyard’ and in so doing, honor your husband. Listen to him and believe him when he compliments you, and compliment him in return. Create a romantic sanctuary in your bedroom ~ and take advantage of it! Most importantly, pray, pray, pray! Ask God to renew your mind. Ask Him to enable you to fully enjoy lovemaking. Ask Him to let you see your beloved through the eyes of the Father and to love him with the Father’s love. These are prayers God will answer, because they are within His will.

PRAYER
Father God,I am amazed by the beautiful gift of sex. Father, I do want to truly be ‘oneflesh’ with my husband. I pray Father, that You would renew my mind so that I can fully enjoy making love to my husband. Enable me to be open with him. I ask Father, that You would help me to be lovesick for the man You have given me. Amen

Pray for Your Beloved ~ Addendum

2008-08-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

After posting this morning, I got to thinking about those of you who may have a husband that is so good at giving his time elsewhere, you never see him! You, his wife and family may be the ones in need. I just wanted to encourage you that it's okay for you to pray that he would see the need at home, and be generous with his time there. I do believe that our families are to be our highest priority after God, and that our family should be our first mission field.

Don't hesitate to make your needs known to your beloved, but don't nag! Mention to him the needs of your family, but then take them to the Lord, and let Him take care of the rest.

Pray For Your Beloved ~ Generosity, Part 2

2008-08-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

I wanted to add some thoughts on generosity. Yesterday was more from a monetary perspective, and I think that when we think of generosity, money is often where our thoughts automatically go. However, we can be generous with more than just our money. We can be generous with other resources ~ fire wood, hay for animals, food out of our pantry, clothing, the list goes on. Another thing we can be generous with is our time. Either helping someone with projects they may have, meeting needs, or just spending time visiting. We can even be generous with our children ~ sending them in our stead to minister to folks in need.

As I mentioned yesterday, I think that it can be easy for wives to be stingy. Especially if we place family time/activities as a high priority. I can be extremely protective of the time we have with my Beloved. There have been times when he worked long hours, or when he's working two jobs, and when he's not working, I want him with us! Certainly there are many times when we can minister as a family, but there are also times when it is not possible, and our husband may need to go by himself, or just take a son or two. We need to give them the freedom to do that. While we certainly don't want to give up all our family time, or drop family as a priority, we need to be flexible and allow for time to minister - be generous as well. Sometimes, that may mean a whole day away ~ perhaps cutting wood for a family in need, or helping to rebuild a shed that's burned in a fire, or any number of things.

I think of the Apostles, who freely shared the two most valuable things they had ~ their time and the gospel. Do we encourage our husbands toward that kind of generosity? Do we encourage them to go and help? To take food to a hungry family? To spend time with the elderly gentleman who has no family near by?

Pray for your beloved to be generous, in all things, to all men.

Pray for Your Beloved ~ Generosity

2008-08-11T05:00:00.001-07:00

Generosity is not an option for a believer. Time and again, in both the Old and New Testaments we are told to lend, to give, to be generous. God, Himself, sets the bar, “but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom. 5:8 God gave His only begotten Son.

In Psalm 112:5 we are told, “It is well with the man who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice.” That Psalm goes on to say in verse 9, “He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; his horn is exalted in honor.” This entire Psalm talks about the righteous man, and being generous is mentioned twice in the 10 verses that make up the Psalm.

A righteous man does not hold tightly to his possessions, but freely gives of them to those that have need. “Whoever oppresses a poor man insults his Maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors him.” Proverbs 14:31 A righteous man desires to honor God with his actions.

I often find at our house, that my Beloved is the one who is truly has the generous spirit. I love to give, and often am generous, but my tendency is to look at the checkbook and decide that we can’t afford it. But my Beloved would give the shirt off of his back if someone was in need of it. When he worked at our local grocery store, he often would loan money or pay for someone’s groceries if they were short on cash. People knew that if they were in need, they could go to him and if able, he would help them. As wives, we should be careful not to curb the generosity of our husbands.

We need to lift our husbands before the Throne and pray that they would be godly, righteous men. We need to pray that they will be generous. That they would give joyfully. “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And god is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written, “He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor, his righteousness endures forever.” He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way for all your generosity, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.” II Cor. 6-11

Some other verses that deal with generosity are:

“It is well with the man who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice.” Psalm 112:5

“If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.” Proverbs 25:21

“But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” Luke 6:35

Use these verses as inspiration as you pray for your beloved this week.

PRAYER

Father God,
I lift my Beloved before You today. I ask Father that You would give him a generous spirit. I pray that he would honor You in all his actions, but especially as he reaches out to those in need. May others see You through him.
In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen.

Recipe Share Friday ~ Savory Grilled Pork Chops

2008-08-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

I thought it was time to get back to being regular about something! So, here is Recipe Share Friday, once again. ;-)

I found this recipe in one of those little recipe magazines you find at the check out stand. I don't remember if it was a Taste of Home, or Pillsbury, or what, but this recipe is YUMMY!!

Savory Grilled Pork Chops with Fruit Salsa
PORK CHOPS
1 (8oz) can pineapple tidbits in unsweetened juice
1/3 C lite soy sauce
2 garlic cloves, minced
6 center-cut pork chops

SALSA
Reserved pineapple tidbits
1/2 C chopped fresh strawberries
1 med. Nectarine
2 Tbls sliced green onions
2 Tbls chopped cilantro
1 Tbls sugar
1 Tbls vinegar
1 Tbls lite soy sauce

1. GRILL DIRECTIONS: Drain pineapple, reserving liquid; set pineapple aside. In a 9x13 glass dish, combine pineapple juice, 1/3 C soy sauce and garlic; blend well. Add pork chops; turn to coat. Cover; refrigerate 2-3 hours to marinate, turning occasionally.

2. Meanwhile, in med. bowl, combine pineapple tidbits and all remaining salsa ingredients; mix well. Cover, refrigerate while pork chops are marinating.

3. Heat grill. When ready to grill, remove pork chops from marinade; discard marinade. Place pork chops on gas grill over med-high heat or on charcoal grill 4-6 inches from med-high coals. Cook 5-7 minutes on each side or until no longer pink in center. Serve salsa with pork chops.

Serves 6

This recipe quickly became one of our summer favorites! Once in a while in the winter, if I can get the fruit, we'll do it for a treat; cooking the pork chops under the broiler in the oven.

Being a Joyful, Intoxicating Wife

2008-08-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

"Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always with her love."
Proverbs 5:19

Although written to a man, I thought the above verse to be instructive to us as wives as well.

"Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth..." I am the wife of my Beloved's youth, am I a wife he can rejoice in? According to Webster's 1828 Dictionary, rejoice is "to experience joy and gladness in a high degree, to be exhilarated with lively and pleasurable sensations; to exult." Sounds like something that should be happening in a marriage relationship, doesn't it? ;-) Shamefully, I know there are times that my Beloved doesn't rejoice in me. My behavior toward him or in general creates anything but joy and gladness. However, it is my goal to be the wife that he can rejoice in. I desire for our home to be full of joy and gladness.

"a lovely deer, a graceful doe..." When I think of a deer, I think of slender, quiet grace. Now, obviously, we're not all slender! Some of us are quieter than others, some more graceful. But, think of the overall impression. I *can* be gentle, quiet and graceful; it just might take some effort. My desire is that when people think of me, they aren't thinking of me per se. But they have such an impression of me that they think of my Beloved, and that he is blessed. It is another way of honoring him. I want my attitudes and actions to be complimentary to my Beloved, but more importantly, I want them to reflect my Heavenly Father.

"let her breasts fill you at all times with delight..." 'Nuff said? LOL At our house, this is more instructive to me than my Beloved. *I* need to remember that my body is for his pleasure. For me, as a woman who is often pregnant and/or nursing, it is so easy to be in Mama-mode. Which means that I get "touched out" during the day, and that I view parts of my body in a more, shall we say, utilitarian way than my Beloved does. I need to remind myself often that I am not *just* a Mama, I am a lover as well. I need to allow myself the freedom to let my breasts fill my Beloved with delight.

"be intoxicated always in her love." Do I love my Beloved in such a way that it's intoxicating to him? It seems that recently I have heard and seen a lot about the effects of certain sinful behaviors. Pornography and other sexual sins in particular create a "need" for more. I am *not* suggesting ungodliness in our marriages. However, am I doing my best to satisy him and love him in such a way that he desires more? Am I intoxicating to him? We can't always be in an "emotional high" in our marriages. That just isn't reality. But do I make an effort toward those times? Do I look for opportunities to show him how much I love and admire him? Do I make time to spend with him, to show interest in the things that interest him? Is our love relationship one that even when we're not in a "high" time, we do still "hunger" for each other? It goes back to being best friends.

Father God,
I lift up the woman reading this now. I pray Father, that You would encourage and inspire her toward being the wife You would have her be. I ask that where ever she's at in her marriage today, that You would draw her and her beloved closer to You, and in so doing, draw them closer to each other. I pray that her beloved would, truely rejoice in her and be intoxicated by her love. I ask this in the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

New Look

2008-08-06T05:00:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that my blog has a new look! I really liked the template I started out with, however, I wanted something that looked a little different from everyone else. :-)

My niece has started playing around with her blog templates, and she uses LeeLou Blogs. So, I clicked on through from her blog, and found this beautiful template! The colors are very "me", and I think they look welcoming. The gal over at LeeLou Blogs has lots of fun and funky templates over at her site, they are easy to install, and best of all, they're free!

If you are interested in what she has to offer, you can scroll down and on the left is a button that you can use to click through to her site.

Let me know what you think!

A Romantic Hideaway

2008-08-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

I have already shared about making our bedroom a retreat. You can view my post on that here.
When I posted that devotion, I intended on getting some pictures of our bedroom up so that you could see what I was talking about. Well, several months later, I am finally getting around to it! These are pictures taken while we were waiting for labor to begin with Ezra, so there are a few things that are not typical to our bedroom in the pictures.

Here is our bed. While this doesn't show the whole thing, you can get an idea of what it's like. I have a double layered bed skirt on it ~ which does not match the quilt. However, it goes well with the coloring in our bedroom, and it was a bargain! The netting you see is a canopy of mosquito netting that hangs from hooks in the ceiling ~ our ceiling is a bit low for a true 4 poster or canopy bed. Around the top of the canopy, I have the small Christmas tree lights. They are amber colored ~ we found the clear ones were too bright. To the majority of the lights I have added roses and or leaves (the light is the center of the rose or leaf set), so it appears that our bed is garlanded by flowers. The bed is set cross-wise in the corner, and behind the headboard, I have a fairly rough pedestal that Mike made (which I have covered with a floral fabric), and that is what the candelabra is sitting on. I have multiple pillows on the bed, and in the winter there is also a brown plaid blanket that lays across the foot of the bed.

This is the corner opposite the bed. Normally next to the rocking chair there is a small black kidney shaped table. On the other side of the little table sits another chair. This gives us an intimate little spot for a quiet cup of tea and conversation. The little shelves you see are a recent addition and are holding layette items. My plan is to paint the shelves black (my "shabby chic" color), and use them in some other way when Ezra's clothing is too large for the little baskets. On the wall, you can see just the lower part of one of our pictures, and then next to that is a 5 arm candelabra ~ for a little added romance!

You can see that I use fairly bold colors in our bedroom, and I do try to accent with plaids because they are more masculine. I decorate our room with things that are meaningful to us. The rocking chair was my great-grandmother's, there are portraits of our children on the walls and dresser tops. I have heard different people recommend not having pictures of your children in your bedroom; after all, it's supposed to be a retreat! However, part of who we are is our children's parents. God has blessed us tremendously with our children ~ why would we want to keep our bedroom devoid of reminders of them? You will also find in our bedroom ~ for the majority of our 19 years of marriage, a bassinet or cradle or a crib. This does not diminish the romance or retreat "feeling" of our room. Rather, for us, it is a reminder of how abundantly blessed we are; and for me, it brings feelings of joy and contentment to see them.

I hope you enjoy the pictures, and perhaps gain some inspiration if you're struggling with infusing your room with romance.

Lost Post

2008-07-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

If you'll scroll down a bit ~ 2 posts, you'll find a new one. It's one I started back in June, and so that is where blogger plugged it in. I don't know how to move it! So, if you'll bear with me, I did post this week, it's just a little lost. :-) The title is: Thoughts on Servanthood.

Frustration

2008-07-22T13:57:00.000-07:00

These last 3 months or so have been a learning experience ~ and not one that I have been particularly joyful about learning. ;-)

For 2 weeks before Ezra was born, I couldn't do any lifting or anything like vacuuming. He had been breech, and although we had gotten him to turn (thanks to the Webster technique!), my midwife didn't want him to turn breech again, so no lifting. Then we ended up with a c-sec. So, no lifting for 6 weeks ~ in addition, I had lost a lot of blood at delivery, so I tire more easily than normal. While I have older boys who are very capable, and willing, they are not home very much. (NOTE: When you have young men with a good work ethic, they are rarely home because people want them to come work for them!)

So, now I can lift. Now I am feeling up to getting something done ~ and there is plenty to be done! Well, now I have a fussy baby. He loves to sleep on me, and during the day will not sleep much if I am not holding him. While he does have happy times, he fusses more than any of our other children did as babies. And, he will cry and cry and cry ~ he won't cry a little and then sleep. He also gets very wild-eyed when he cries, and I just can't stand to let him for very long. So, now that I feel up to getting something done, I sit and hold a fussy baby, or nurse a toddler.

I know I'm desperate for a feeling of accomplishment when my Beloved comes home and I say, "Look honey, I got that corner straightened up." "Look honey, you can see the top of my desk." LOL Sad, but true!

In the midst of this, what am I learning? First off, I haven't trained my children as well as I should have! They are (apparently) blind to toys left out, garbage that hasn't "found" it's way to the garbage can, clothes not taken to the laundry room, etc. My younger children haven't been trained as well as they should because I have had older children who already did things. That needs to change! My older children are not that far away from being gone from home, and I need to get busy training the younger ones ~ they need to learn how to be responsible too.

Secondly ~ and I am *not*advocating letting everything go! But, in reality the housework will still be there tomorrow, it'll probably be there 15 minutes or so after I get it done. My baby will only be a baby for a short time, and the time I invest in my children is time invested in eternity. I may get frustrated now because it seems that all I do is sit and rock and nurse, but someday, much too soon, I will be missing these times. While I need to get done what I can in the short snippets of time I have, I also need to relax and enjoy my baby ~ and toddler! ~ and the rest of the children, some of which aren't really children any more.

Are you a young mama, in the midst of little children? Enjoy them! Love on them, and don't wish this time to go any faster than it is. Our oldest will be 18 in September, and I can't believe it's been that many years since I was rocking him and nursing him to sleep. The time goes so quickly, and it is all too easy to lose sight of that. We yearn for the next thing, and when it comes, we begin to yearn for the next. When will we learn to be content where God has us now?

So, in the midst of frustration, I am learning, and trying to be content ~ difficult with everything that needs to be done, staring me down. Well, I have a tired, grumpy toddler who needs to nurse, so I'm going to go ~ and enjoy him. ;-)

I'm Still Here!

2008-06-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since I posted, and I apologize. The last months of this pregnancy, and the first weeks of our new son's life, have proven to be challenging for me. I find that as I get older, and have more things going on, I have a harder time collecting my thoughts coherently. In fact, I started a different post for today, but there are so many directions that my mind is going on the topic I've chosen, that I decided I better think on it a bit more. It will probably end up being at least two posts, maybe more.

I am going to try and be more consistent with posting here, but quite honestly, it is difficult with a toddler who is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to not being the baby anymore, and a newborn who needs to eat often. I'm not particularly good at typing one-handed :-), so many times when I would sit down to post, I'm handicapped, so to speak. Even now, Josiah is trying to demand my attention. If you think of it, prayers for him would be appreciated. He adores his new little brother, but with this being a surgical birth, and the added complications that has given this first 6 weeks, this has been a difficult adjustment for him (he's just 2), and he is still working on that adjustment. I am trying to give him *some* leaway, recognizing that he is in transition, while not allowing him to get away with murder ~ which can be a very fine line! But I want to give him room to adjust while not throwing all our training out the window.

I want to thank those of you who have stuck with me, even through this long dry spell. As I said, there are many things I want to talk about and share, but putting the thoughts together through the muddle that is my mind lately has been more than challenging!

May God bless your day.

Thoughts on servanthood

2008-06-23T09:52:00.000-07:00

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Philippians 2:5-7

"When He washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed His place, He said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also outght to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you." John 13: 12-15

This past week, in Sunday School,(several weeks ago, now) we were studying the passage in Philippians that I have just referenced. I thought it an interesting tie-in with what I had been hearing on the radio, on Family Life Today. They were talking with Nancy Leigh DeMoss about Biblical womanhood. And they also talked about being a servant. One of the terms they talked about was "doormat". In our culture being a "doormat" has very negative connotations. But what is a doormat? On the program they pointed out that a doormat has a good and specific purpose. What does it do? It wipes the feet. What did Jesus do? John 13 tells us that He washed the feet of His disciples. You can read some thoughts I had a few months ago on being a doormat here .

God created woman to be a servant. "...But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Genesis 2:20b-23

So, what does this look like? Well, a lot of what it looks like depends upon your beloved. The things I do that make me an ideal helpmeet for my Beloved, may be totally different than what your beloved needs. In general, we serve them within the home. We cook, clean, and care for the children ~ which may include homeschooling. Some of us take care of the finances. Some of us take care of the yard, or animals.

The first thing we should do, is to cultivate our relationship with the Lord. If I am going to be servant-hearted, and be willing to put others needs before my own, I need the empowerment of the Holy Spirit! I don't know about you, but I tend to be pretty selfish, and that can make things fairly unpleasant around our house. :-( My desire is to joyfully serve my husband and children, and I can only do that when I am steeped in the Word of God.

Second, we need to be students of our husbands. I need to know him ~ perhaps even better than he knows himself. I want to be able to not just respond to his needs, but to anticipate them. But, to be able to anticipate, I need to know. Otherwise, I'm just guessing. I can read about things that other wives do, but that should just be a starting place for me ~ if I'm struggling. What one man needs, is not necessarily what another man needs. So, I can talk to other wives, or read, or whatever, but I need to know my husband and what his needs are to truely be a helpmeet to him. For example, some men are highly organized and detail oriented, others need their wives to come alongside them and help them plan things out so that they can attain the goals they have. Some men are financial wizards, others are terrible at handling money and need their wives to take care of paying the bills, some may want you to sit down with them and do it together.

Third, I believe we need to extend the grace and freedom to our beloved to let him be who he is. We need to recognize that he is not our Daddy, nor is he our ex, or any other man who influenced our ideas on what men are. This can be difficult! I grew up in a household where we got our own hay in, we went out during the summer and cut wood, etc. My husband often just buys our wood. This drove me batty for a long time ~ we should be doing this ourselves! However, my Beloved has worked 2 and 3 jobs for the majority of our married life. He just does not have the time to go out and scout for wood, get it cut, brought home, stacked, etc. It took me a long time, but I finally learned that he was providing for us just as well as my Dad did, just in a different way. It can be difficult too, if we have had damaging relationships with men. Sometimes we will attribute those negative qualities of an ex or bad Dad to our beloved, always expecting the worst from him.

And finally, one of the most important ways we can serve our husband is to daily lift him before the Throne of Grace. What greater way to look after his needs, than to petition Almighty God on his behalf? As we daily lift our beloved before the Lord, I believe that He will also give us wisdom in how best to meet his needs, and we too, will benefit in our role as helpmeet to our husband.

Our Newest Blessing

2008-05-23T14:49:00.000-07:00

Announcing the arrival of Ezra Alan Dole!

Ezra was born on Sunday, May 11, Mother's Day. He weighed 8lb 14oz, and was 20 1/4 inches long. My water broke early Saturday morning. After beginning to get the tub out and filled, we called our midwife, Terry, and my dear friend, Julianne, who had agreed to come and be our "doula". We called Grammie, because we had asked her to be here for the birth. And then we began to wait.

We fully expected to have a baby by 10 or 11 in the morning, from my previous births where my water had broken, but I was not actively laboring. And we waited, and waited... I nursed Josiah off and on throughout the day, hoping that that would get labor going; and we waited. We visited, we warmed up the water in the birthing pool when it would get too cool, and we waited. At one point, Mike realized that he had left the water on *far* too long, and when I got upstairs, the birthing pool was full to overflowing, with water beginning to run under the bed! Thankfully, we had a lot of towels on the floor in preparation for following the birth, and so, we didn't have too big of a mess. I was just thankful there wasn't water coming down the stairs when I got to the bottom of them! And we continued to wait. In the afternoon, Grammie finally went home. The girls went with her.

Evening came and we played a couple of rousing games of Apples to Apples. We were up pretty late, but we had fun! At about 12:30, we finally went to bed. I woke up about 3am, and thought I felt like maybe things were going to get going ~ finally! And still we waited. Mike fixed scambled eggs and toast, but I couldn't eat very much, I just didn't feel real well. My emotions were beginning to get the better of me. The only other birth that my membranes spontaneously ruptured before labor began was Tucker's. I had been fine the day before, but now we were onto Sunday, and Tucker was born on a Sunday ~ and for some reason, labor wasn't happening. I felt like God was asking, "Do you trust me?" My answer was, "Yes." However, Tucker's birth weighed on my mind.

Terry decided we should try herbs for a couple of hours, and if that didn't get labor going, it wasn't going to. So, for the next 2 hours, every 15 minutes, I received a lovely little cocktail of labor herbs. And we waited. When the herbs didn't work, we had to decide whether or not to transport to the hospital. We didn't have any signs of infection, baby's heart rate was good; but if we waited until any of that changed, we would be left without options when we did get to the hospital. Mike decided to transport. He called Dr. Stamm, and asked if he would make arrangements for us at Deaconess.

As we left for the hospital, I was extremely emotional. I knew that God was allowing all of this for a reason, but not *knowing* the reason left me an emotional wreck. Was there something wrong with the baby? When we got into Spokane, Mike called the hospital, and they told him they were expecting us. When we got to Deaconess, Dr. Stamm was there at the nurses station, awaiting our arrival.

Once we were settled into our room, Dr. Stamm came in and informed us that because of the amount of time since my water had ruptured, that I was considered high risk. They would run a couple of courses of antibiotics, just to be on the safe side, and then they would start a pitocin drip. So, once again we waited.

Julianne had called Brian, and told him that we were heading to the hospital, and unbeknownst to her, he called some folks at their church, and headed out for Spokane as well. Their church had planned a special time during their service for Brian, as his birthday had been that week, and yet, they very generously encouraged him to go to Spokane and be there to support us. What a blessing that was for us! We were also surprised (and thankful!) to see our own dear pastor walk in through the door not long after we arrived at the hospital. What a blessing to know and fellowship with not only one, but two congregations willing to give up their pastor on a Sunday morning!

After they started the pitocin, we began to contemplate an epidural. I have never been the least bit interested in an epidural ~ needles, spines...I'm just too squimish for that! However, I have had pitocin births before, and knowing that I wouldn't be able to do much in the way of naturally relieving the pain, I decided this time it *might* be an option. We thoroughly questioned one of our dr.s, and then we thoroughly questioned our labor nurse. Then I consulted with Mike, Terry, and Julianne. In the end, we decided to go for the epidural. What a strange experience! To be having strong contractions, and not be feeling them! I did have some problems with the lower right part of my belly not staying numb, but other than that, it was not a bad experience.

Finally, at about 6 or 6:30 in the evening, I was ready to push! Soon I would be holding my new son, and I was ready! And so, with a room full of drs and nurses (not the lovely quiet homebirth I was planning!), I began to push. And push...and push. For at least 2 1/2 hours, in pretty much ever imaginable position, I pushed. But our son would not come down. He was stuck at 0 station ~ and I was exhausted. We began to talk about different options. Forceps delivery, cesarean. We pretty much rejected forceps out of hand. We figured if we didn't know why he wasn't coming down, forceps could be dangerous. As scary as a c-section was to me, forceps were scarier. The drs said they would give me another 15-30 minutes of laboring before we *had* to make a decision. I felt like if I had to labor another 15 minutes, I would die. We decided to go ahead with a c-section. And I cried. I was scared, but I knew we had to do it to get our son safely into our arms.

They got Mike some scrubs ~ he looked adorable! And they took me to the OR. They "topped off" the epidural, and when everything was ready, they began to cut. And, "OW, OW, OW!!!"

"You can feel that?" "YES!" The surgeon wanted to go ahead with the epidural (letting me get numb), but the anethesiologist wasn't comfortable with it, so they knocked me clear out. Which meant Mike couldn't be there when the baby was delivered. They had told him that they would deliver the baby, and then it would be just 10 or 15 minutes before I would be out. After half an hour, Mike left Julianne with Ezra in the nursery, and came back to the operating room. I had begun hemorraging, and they really had to work to get my uterus to work like it was supposed to. They did special stitches in it, and all in all, I was in surgery for an hour after they delivered Ezra. We are thankful that although I lost about double the amount of blood they would expect, they did not have to give me a transfusion.

So, at 9:34 pm on Sunday evening, our sweet little boy entered into the world. We praise God for the evidences of His Hand all through this labor and delivery. The dr. said that it was "fortuitous" that I had to have general anethesia for surgery. We know that it was providential.

I am in for a long recovery because of all the different factors involved in this birth, but I am thankful to have a healthy baby to hold while recovering. Mike is thankful I am around *to* recover. That may sound extreme, but having to have a surgical delivery, and then for things to take so much longer than what he had been told ~ he was truely scared of losing me.

Here are a few pictures of our newest darling.

A relieved and thankful Daddy getting aquainted with his newest son. Julianne looks on.

A tired and thankful Mama loves on her sleepy baby.

Prideful or Humble?

2008-02-16T14:43:00.000-08:00

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

As I was reading in Proverbs this morning, I was struck by how beautifully this particular proverb ties in with the New Testament commands for wives to submit. If we have a humble spirit, submitting will be a much easier task than if we are prideful. Pride leads to feelings of entitlement, which leads to resisting submission. If I am prideful, I am going to be concerned with *my* right to be heard, *my* ability to make intelligent decisions, *my* right to do what I see fit. Why should *I* have to do what my husband wants, or abide by his decisions?

A prideful spirit is self-focused while a humble spirit focuses first on the Lord, and then on others. In a marriage, pride does bring destruction, we see it around us every day. Perhaps this is one reason why divorce is as prevalent within the church as it is without. We are not taught to think beyond ourselves, and it's killing our marriages and our families.

So much of the church is structured around "individual" needs, that it promotes pride. We have special programs for everyone ~ are you single? Do you have toddlers? Are you a "youth"? Instead of feeding and discipling and encouraging humble service, our churches perpetuate a prideful, "What can you do for me?" attitude within their congregations.

It is time for Christian men and women to lay down their pride and to pick up the humble, multi-generational vision that we find in Scripture. If we would do that, we would see reformation and revival ~ within the church, yes. But more importantly, we would see reformation and revival within families and marriages.

The Taming of the Tongue

2008-02-15T15:31:00.000-08:00

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

What a wonderful nugget of wisdom for wives wanting to grow in godliness! We would improve our "serve", so to speak, by leaps and bounds if we could just keep this one proverb in the front of our minds and put it into practice!

I know that far too often, I let my tongue loose before I think, and my response to my Beloved is harsh. Many times I'm not even "responding" to him, but out of the circumstances I find myself in ~ I just take it out on him. It grieves my heart to think of the number of arguments I have started just because I didn't take the time to think and to give a "soft" answer. Sometimes my harsh answer doesn't actually start an argument, but it does stir up my Beloved's anger.

James tells us that, "no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." (Jas. 3:8) The good news, sisters, is that we don't have to rely upon ourselves to tame our tongue! We have the enabling of the of the Holy Spirit to accomplish this overwhelming task.

God calls us to live in a deliberate way. To measure our steps; to count the cost. It's not easy. I find that most days I walk in a reactionary rather than deliberate way. Instead of thinking through my words and actions, I walk through my day "reacting" to the circumstances around me. Which in turn causes me to be contentious with those around me ~ whether it be my husband or my children.

I believe that as we rely on the Lord and strive toward godly living, we will see changes ~ in a formulaic way (as in: If I do A and B the result will be C), however often God does honor our efforts to honor and glorify Him. Whether or not our children improve in their behaviors or our husband becomes easier to live with, or a more godly leader is not what is important. What we will see is a change in us. As we live to glorify God, He will mold us further into the image of His dear Son. And that's truely what it's all about.

Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

Well, I meant to post earlier today, but I ran out of time! Thursday's are Kathleen's piano lessons, so I was gone part of the morning, and after getting home, I spent most of the afternoon in our bedroom, getting things straightened up.

Bedroom's seem to be one of those "problem" areas that are difficult to keep tidy, because they end up being the depository for all the odds and ends! So, I decided that in order to have a truely romantic evening, our room needed to be neatened (is that a word?) up.

My Beloved came home from work a little early, and we took our oldest son, and his friend out on a "double date". We went to a nice restaurant for an early dinner, stopped and picked up a movie to bring home to everyone else, and came home.

Now, I have candles lit in our bedroom, a pot of herbal tea brewing, a couple of pieces of Turtle Cheesecake, cut and on china, and a bottle of Raspberry sparkling juice ready to go up to our room. We'll have a private dessert and some romance! A nice way, I think, to end our Valentine's Day.

I hope you all had a wonderful, romantic time with your beloved.

Love is an Action

2008-02-13T14:59:00.000-08:00

"You can give without loving,
But you cannot love without giving." Amy Carmichael

As warm and fuzzy as love can sometimes be, it doesn't take long after the wedding bells to realize that love can also be difficult and downright hard. It's easy to say the words ~ to talk the flowery talk and make someone else feel good. But until the rubber hits the road, and actions begin to speak, love is nothing more than that: words.

True love is action. If I truely love someone, I am going to give: of myself, of my time, of my resources, etc. I don't just sit and tell my husband how much I love him, and expect him to believe me. I do what I can to be a helpmeet to him, I look for ways to serve him within the home and without. I make an effort to honor him, and speak well of him when out and about. I make an effort to be his best friend, taking an interest in the things he is interested in, and I am his lover ~ he gets all of me. Not just a bit here, and a little there, but I am wholly his. I make (although admittedly, I do fail) every effort to put into action those precious words, "I love you."

Lest you think that this is one-sided, my Beloved also makes every effort to make sure that I *know* that when he says he loves me, he means it. He is particularly good at acts of service. Recently, I have not felt particularly well, and he has taken over cooking, and making sure the children are keeping things straightened up. Not because I asked him to, but because he knows that it relieves stress for me to not have to worry about those things when I am not feeling well. He is wonderful about coming up with innovative ways to make my jobs easier around the house, when I have difficulty with something. Example: A few years ago he bought me a front loading washer. Our dryer was still working fine, so, we didn't replace it. However, when I am pregnant (which seems to be quite often), it is difficult to bend over and pull things out of that machine. So, while we were at the store, looking at washers and accessories, he decides that he can build me a box to go under the dryer. It's wonderful! My dryer sits at the same height as my washer, and so it's quite easy to move clothing from the washer to the dryer, and it's also easy for me to take out the dry clothes out and get them folded.

Think about ways to *show* your love to your husband today. Put some feet on those sweet words.

A Special Offer

2008-02-07T11:21:00.000-08:00

Vision Forum is offering $25 off any order over $75 until Saturday, February 9! Here is the coupon code you need~ Vision.

You can link directly to Vision Forum right here ~ this is an affiliate link, and if you use it, I will get a commission from the sale. It is just one small way in which I'm trying to help with our family's finances, so I appreciate your assistance!

Vision Forum carries many great resources for the whole family, but especially to help you in your efforts to be a godly helpmeet to your beloved.

Live Like You Were Dyin'

2008-01-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

I have been reminded recently (once again), about the brevity of life. An email aquaintance lost her husband. He leaves behind his wife and 6 children. As I have grieved for her, I have also spent a good amount of time thanking God for the wonderful husband and companion that He has blessed me with.

As I prepare for his return each afternoon, I wonder what it would be like to know that he will never again come through the front door. As I lay in bed, I wonder what it would be like to climb the stairs at night, knowing that he would never again lay by my side. As I snuggle into his pillow each morning after he leaves, I contemplate whether I would have the courage to wash the sheets, and lose his scent. I also have thought about our relationship, and how I treat him.

Does he know how much I adore him? Does he know that I cherish each moment that we have? I'm sure there are times when I do well ~ perhaps even excel at communicating to him how deeply I love and admire him. I also know that there are too many times that I allow my circumstances and attitude to affect how I speak to him or treat him ~ and at those times I fail miserably.

Case in point: Yesterday my Beloved went to town ahead of us. His rig has some front end problems, and he needed to take it in and get it worked on. I was to follow in the van after his paycheck was ready. Our two oldest boys had been at my folks' house, and so I had to go out there to pick up Levi. Well, almost to the top of their drive, I got stuck. Not only was I stuck, but I couldn't even get out of the van, because if I took my foot off the break, the van would start to slide. So, I had a van full of children, and I couldn't do anything to help myself ~ I couldn't even get out of the van to go get Levi to rescue me! After honking the horn for him, and then sending in Logan, Levi came out and started working to get me unstuck. We (Levi) tried ashes on the snow, we tried digging ruts for traction, we tried kitty litter under the tires. Nothing worked. At this point, I was getting *extremely* frustrated. And then my phone rang. It was my Beloved. I was, to say the least, short with him. Completely, totally, un-fairly short. It certainly wasn't his fault that I was stuck, and it wasn't as if he could do anything about it. But, I still took my frustration out on him. :-( Levi ended up putting the chains on so that we could drive the last 100-200 feet to the top of the drive, and after getting back into town where I had some real reception, I called Mike back and apologized for being such a stinker to him.

I have been really convicted about my tendancy to do this type of thing. It seems as though I live my life in a reactionary way, instead of purposefully, thoughtfully living. I let myself get carried on my emotions and not only does my Beloved pay for it, my children do as well. But what kind of a legacy am I leaving? If I were to die today, what memories would fill my Beloved's mind? Would it be of a wife who loved and adored him ~ and made every effort to make sure he knew, or would it be of a wife who was *itchy every time things weren't *just so*? What would my children's memories be? If it were my Beloved who died, would I be able to rest in how I treated him, and came alongside of him, or would I be guilt-ridden because of how I tended to treat him?

I want to "live like I was dyin'", as the song goes. Not in a self-interest sort of way, but in a way that glorifies God, and in a way that cherishes those around me. Not a one of us is guaranteed the next moment, let alone tomorrow or next year, how are we living? I want to look back on my life with as few as regrets as possible. Obviously, I'm not going to live a perfect life, but I want to strive to live as pure and righteous a life as possible ~ and to be sure to make amends when I don't. I thank God that I don't have to attempt that on my own power! May our dear Lord give us each the strength to live as if each moment is our last~making those moments count for Him and those we love.

Re-thinking Housework

2008-01-29T10:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was contemplating ways in which to maintain a sense of order, without infringing too much on my Beloved's good will.

I am now 24 weeks along with this little and seem to be carrying the baby rather low. Bending over has become almost an impossibility. Which makes picking up rather difficult. Simple things that we don't normally think about. Do you know how quickly the house can look like a tornado hit if you can't pick things up off the floor? Apparently, with 3 of the children under the age of 8, the speed in which it can happen is the blink of an eye! LOL

I have been working with the children on, "If you are done with something, put it away." And am constantly reminding them to pick things up off the floor, but since we are still in training mode (more with some than others), it still gets to looking rather wild around here. Yesterday was my Beloved's day off. He spent the better part of the morning trying to get out of the driveway (major snow storm the night before), and working on thawing out the watering trough; before coming in and helping me with the house. While he did it without complaining (and without me asking), he wasn't the happiest of campers. And while I greatly appreciate his help ~ am so very thankful for his help, I do realize he shouldn't have to give it. However, here I sit, unable to bend over ~ except in an emergency. ;-)

I know that there are women who are totally incapacitated during their pregnancies, and I am grateful that I am not among them, but I do need to deal with my limitations and figure out how to still be a good keeper of my home and decent helpmeet to my Beloved. One of the ways I am doing this is by working more diligently with the children, as mentioned above. Another idea I have come up with is to get one of those long-handled "grabbers" the next time we're in town. That will allow me to pick up stuff off the floor, without having to bend over, or call for help (which even in a household of 7 children isn't always available). I also think that we need to evaluate what is most important to get done, what can slide some, what just doesn't need to be worried about. Pregnancy is just a season, and it will soon be over, and I will once again be able to bend over and pick up whatever I want!

There are different times in our lives, when we may not be able to keep up with our normal expectations, or ideals. While that does not excuse us to let everything go, we do need to re-evaulate (along with our Beloved), and do what we can. It may mean that he has to do more around the house than he usually does, it may mean that you have to hire in help for a while, or for a particular job - such as having a young woman come in and vacuum and do laundry a day or two a week. The most important thing is that we are doing what we can (though it may be little or nothing sometimes), and that our husband still feels like he has a helpmeet, and that his home is still a haven for him.

Leaving and Cleaving Pt. 2

2008-01-12T09:42:00.000-08:00

I have continued to ponder the leaving and cleaving mentioned in Genesis. It would seem, for men, this is more of a break from the headship of their father, more so than a physical "leaving". Obviously, there were times when God called men to leave the place they were living and move (think Abram), but the norm would appear that the man stayed either with his family or near them ~ unless he is marrying into a pagan culture, and then everything went haywire. There are exceptions as well ~ Jacob, who ran from his brother and lived with Laban ~hmmm, that didn't turn out particularly well, humanly speaking, and Laban was his mother's relative, not his father's.

Please understand, I am not bashing the wife's family. I'm just trying to analyze and understand what I see to be common, through the lens of Scripture. Often I think, if the wife will not "leave and cleave", not only does it affect her husband and his family, it affects her relationship with the family she has built with her husband. I recently became aware of a situation where a family had a tradition of where they spent a part of one holiday, but the wife's parents decided they were going to do something different, and so *her* family had to do that as well, instead of their long-standing tradition. One of the children in particular was very upset, but related that, "When Grandma and Grandpa want to do something, my Mom has to do it too." She was letting her attachment to her parents over-ride her commitment and attachment to her own family. In the process upsetting the children, because their beloved tradition was disrupted, not because of an emergency or unavoidable circumstance, but because of her whim.

I realize that often a husband's family is at best unfriendly and at worst down right hostile to a daughter-in-law, and this can greatly complicate things. It is difficult to prefer to be with people who would rather they had never even met you, let alone had to accept you into the family ~ and maybe they don't really accept you. But what does it say to your Beloved if you make the effort anyway, and act in a winsome way toward them, not meeting resistance with resistance, but doing your best to win them over. I say this with regret and sorrow. I never really made that effort, and now both of my Beloved's parents are gone. I caused my Beloved heartache, my children missed out on a closer relationship with one set of their grandparents, and I missed out as well, because I wasn't mature enough to make the effort to be kind and loving to people who wouldn't return in kind. Through an uncommon set of circumstances, that did change in my Beloved's father's later years, but by then he was in poor enough health that it still wasn't a close, vibrant relationship.

There are certainly times when a husband really doesn't want to have anything to do with his family either, and while I believe that we should encourage a phone call now and then and for him to be honoring, I don't think the issue should be pushed. However, if our Beloved loves and desires to be with his family and we are rejecting them, then in reality, we are rejecting a part of him as well. Even if you don't see much to be admired, remember that this is the mother and father that raised the man you love ~ and that's something!

I encourage you to take time today and really contemplate and pray about your relationship with your family and with your in-laws. Have you truly left your family and joined yourself to your husband?

Leave and Cleave

2008-01-02T17:28:00.000-08:00

"And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. The the man said,
"This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:22-24

I have been thinking on this a lot lately. Obviously, the text says, "a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife," but if the wife is still "holding fast" to her family, is this possible in the sense that God intends? I know that there are men out there who are very close to their parents, and will put their needs/wants ahead of their own family, but I think this is something that women struggle with to a much greater degree.

From the marriages I have observed, it seems much more likely that the wife will not forsake her own family to participate with and “belong to” her husband’s family. This often means that all holidays are spent with her family, never with his. Perhaps she outright scorns the things his parents say or advice they give. Or she ridicules the way his family does things, or refuses to adopt any of his family’s traditions.

Sometimes this happens because his parents are not friendly toward her ~ perhaps they are even hostile. But, I have seen this happen even when his parents were more than willing to welcome her with open arms and love her like a daughter.

I know that I have been guilty of some of these things at different points in our marriage, but as I mature and grow, I see how important those familial ties are. If we are going to have a multi-generational vision for our families, it doesn’t just begin with us. We have to look to the preceding generations as well. We need to show our children what it is to love, honor and embrace family that maybe we find difficult, or just plain different from ourselves.

As we draw closer to the time when our sons will be marrying, I wonder what I can do to build relationships with my future daughters-in-law. As our sons make known to us their interest in a particular girl, or come to us letting us know they are ready to begin the courting process, I want to embrace those young women and begin to build a friendship with them, to come to love them *before* they are an “official” part of our family. This is not to say that I expect them at our home for every holiday. :-) But, I want to *gain* a daughter when the time comes, not lose my son.

We are encouraging our sons to not only look at the daughter, but to observe the whole family ~ how do they interact with one another? How do they behave toward him? Are they a family that our family gets along with? Does our son get along well with them? These may not be “deal breakers”, but we believe them to be an important part of the courtship process. As those of us who are married well know, you are not just marrying your spouse, you are taking on their family as well.

Well, I’m not sure that these thoughts aren’t somewhat muddled, but I guess this is just an overview of my thoughts on this subject. I’m hoping to flesh some of this out over the next few months and be more specific on different aspects of it. Any thoughts you have, I would love to hear. Especially concerning building relationship with daughters-in-law ~ with 5 boys, I need all the help I can get!

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T22:19:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, dear readers! May our dear Lord bless us with a year of not only growing closer to Him, but in drawing closer to our beloved and becoming a better helpmeet!

Thought for Today

2007-12-12T12:48:00.000-08:00

There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage. ~Martin Luther

I'm Still Here!

2007-12-08T08:57:00.000-08:00

Well, this post isn't really about anything! I just wanted to let you all know that I am still here! I had birthday preparations (mine, we didn't do much special ~ although my Beloved did take me out to a great Greek restaurant!), Levi has started Driver's Ed :-0, which means a round trip of 70 miles to Cd'A, at least twice a week, and often more ~ I think we go 4 times next week, Kathleen has spent most of this week sick, and I have been fighting a head cold (I think I'm winning!), and Josiah has been cranky ~ soooo, I just haven't had time to sit and write, let alone *think* about what I might write!

It doesn't really look like things are going to slow down much before Christmas, so I'm not sure if I'll post much, if at all. But please don't give up on me! Do check back once in a while. And have a wonderful, blessed Christmas season!

Song of Solomon Devotion #4

2007-11-27T09:50:00.000-08:00

Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful. Our couch is green;the beams of our house are cedar; our rafters are pine.Song of Solomon 1:16-17

Here, the Shulamite describes the bridal chamber. This is a room that Solomon has lovingly prepared for his bride. It was the one place where the cares of running a kingdom would be left behind. Your bedroom should be a similar sanctuary for your husband and for you. It should be a place where, as a couple, you can relax and enjoy each other.

What does your bedroom look like? It is neat and clean? Is the bed made? Are there piles of clean, but unfolded laundry lying about? Or piles of dirty laundry? Is your bedroom the repository for everything that doesn’t have a proper place? Making your bedroom a refuge does not mean that you need to spend a fortune. It does mean that you make sure that it is a place you can relax. That may be as simple as keeping the bed made, the floor swept or vacuumed, and the dresser top kept neat. It may mean that you need to paint and wallpaper and find coordinating bedding and curtains. This should be a process that you involve your husband in (as much as he wants), because he needs to be able to relax in your room too.

For example, when we moved into our home, I wanted to make sure my husband was comfortable in our bedroom, as it had been full of florals before. As I talked to him, I came to realize that he was happy with whatever I wanted to do. Even if meant lots of roses. I do tend to decorate with lots of roses and florals, but since I live with a man, I also incorporate strong, dark colors and plaids to complement the flowers. I have also liberally used my husband’s favorite color in our bedroom. I bought a mosquito net canopy that gives our bed the appearance of a four-poster. It was not expensive and yet, the impact it makes is huge. It adds a lot of romance to the look of our room, and creates a feeling of coziness without being too ‘heavy’ for the room. Candles are another element that can help your room to feel like a retreat. Ifyour husband doesn’t like scented candles, there are unscented ones available. Candles add romance and everyone looks better by candle light, which can help you to be more relaxed with your lover.

This is the ultimate goal in making our bedroom a haven. We need to have a place where we can relax and fully enjoy each other. “Eat, friends, drink, andbe drunk with love!” Song of Solomon 5:1b

PRAYER

Father God, I thank You for being a creative and loving God. I ask Father, that You would enable me to be creative as I clean out our bedroom. I pray Father, that my husband and I would be able to agree about what is restful and haven-like. Father, I pray that as I strive to make our room more of a haven, that You would enable me to relax with my husband and be more open and free with him as a lover. Amen.

Recipe Share Friday

2007-11-23T15:27:00.000-08:00

Here is one of our family's holiday favorites. It is simple, and there are no measurements, you just have to go by taste.

Deviled Eggs

Hard boil your eggs with a little salt in the water (This will make them easier to peel. Also, do not use fresh eggs, they are almost impossible to peel!)

After your eggs are boiled and cooled, peel them and cut in half lengthwise. Place yolks in a med size bowl. After peeling, add Miracle Whip to the yolks. There is no measurement, you go by texture and taste. I start with two large (serving size) spoonfuls (for about 18 eggs). Beat with an electric mixer, and keep adding Miracle Whip until your filling is smooth without lumps. When the filling is prepared, I like to put it into a pastry bag and pipe it into the eggs, although you can spoon it in. Finish off with a sprinkling of Paprika, and watch them disappear!

You could use mayo, instead of the Miracle Whip, but it will change the flavor of your eggs. The Miracle Whip gives them a unique, but good flavor that doesn't need anything else.

Enjoy!

Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T08:42:00.000-08:00

"We give thanks to you, O God; we give thanks, for Your name is near. We recount your wondrous deeds." Psalm 75:1

On this day before Thanksgiving, I thought it appropriate to take a moment and think about the things I have to be thankful for as a wife.

That I am saved by grace, and have the priviledge of being a child of The Most High ~ enabling me to be a godly wife.

For a husband who is my best friend, lover, provider, and protector. Because he works so hard, and is committed to being a godly man, I am able to stay at home and nurture and disciple our children on a daily, moment by moment basis.

To be able to be at home. I have, at various times in our marriage worked. To carry the burden of someone else's demands on my time, as well as the responsibilities at home ~ it's not what God designed me for! I am truely thankful to be able to be a keeper at home, and to "watch" over the homefront while my Beloved struggles each day in the workforce providing for us.

For 7 beautiful, creative, intelligent, lively blessings! When I think back over the years, I can't imagine why God would choose to bless us so abundantly ~ but I am so *very* thankful that He has! I so look forward to meeting our newest blessing in May, and seeing just who God has in mind for us next!

For the blessing of a home that I can make a haven for my family. We rented for so many years, and God truely blessed us when we bought our farm. I am thankful for the amount of room that we have, having lived in much smaller homes.

For a pantry full of food. Sometimes I have to get creative in what meals are going to be, but for the most part, we have an abundance of food, and that is a blessing.

For the trials that God has walked me through. I have been married all of my adult life, so all my trials have been alongside my Beloved. I am thankful that God loves us enough to walk us through the hard places, and I am very thankful that I have such an outstanding man to walk through them with!

Well, I'm sure I have much more to be thankful for, I know I do, but my littlest blessing is tired and hungry, so that calls for an end to this post. :-)

What are *you* thankful for?

Recipe Share Friday ~ Texas Beef Skillet

2007-11-16T09:40:00.000-08:00

My Grandma Storms' standard wedding shower gift was a "Better Homes and Gardens" cookbook. And so it was that when Mike and I got married, I received one from her. It has been one of those cookbooks that I reach for over and over. Not because it's full of wonderful, gourmet recipes, but because it's full of good, basic recipes ~ and recipes for just about anything a young bride might want to make. One of my early favorites is still a family favorite, although now I have to like, triple the recipe! So, here it is for you to try as well.

Texas Beef Skillet

1 lb ground beef
3/4 C chopped onion
1 16-oz can tomatoes, cut up
1 15 1/2-oz can red kidney beans
1/2 C quick cooking rice
3 T chopped green pepper
1 1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder (I use fresh, diced garlic to taste)
3/4 C shredded cheddar cheese
Corn chips, crushed

In a skillet cook ground beef and onion till meat is browned and onion is tender. Drain off fat. Stir in the undrained tomatoes, drained beans, uncooked rice, green pepper, chili powder, garlic powder, 1/2 C water, and 1/2 tsp salt. Bring to a boil, reduce heat. Simmer, covered, for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Top with cheese. Cover and heat about 3 minutes or till cheese melts. Sprinkle corn chips around the edge. Serves 6.

This will double fine in a 12" skillet. If you are going to multiply it more than that, you'll have to move on to a larger skillet or a dutch oven. The children really like this, and I usually serve it with extra corn chips and a green salad.

Enjoy!