Better than a Hallelujah

I am preparing to sing this song for church this coming Sunday. I have spent a fair amount of time not only working on the song, but thinking about the words. I had no idea until I looked at it on YouTube that there were people who believe this to be a totally unbiblical message. I disagree, and will share more after the song.



Why would a mother's tears, a drunkard's cry, a soldier's plea....why would any of these ever be better than a Hallelujah? It has to do with brokenness and surrender. I think that those things are better than a Hallelujah because they *are* a hallelujah. They are not a word of worship, they are an act of worship. I have been a Mama shedding tears in the night ~ have you? They were tears of fear, of acknowledgment of my inability to handle the situation, tears of pleading, and some of them have been tears of gratefulness and thanksgiving...all acts of worship.

"For though the Lord is high, He regards the lowly, but the haughty He knows from afar." Psalm 138:6

"Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished." Proverbs 16:5

"For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." Mark 7:21-23


I wonder what the stench of our self-sufficiency is to God's nostrils. We live in a society that takes pride in 'pulling one's self up by your bootstraps', and being a loner, and 'I can do it'. But it all smacks of just that...pride. Pride is something that God hates. He wants us to ackowledge and live like we can't do it without Him ~ 'cause guess what? We can't.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

I hear people say it all the time, and it is my most despised saying, "God won't give you more than you can handle." Really? Says who? And, what makes you think you can handle breathing? I think this is said in very well-intentioned ways, but I believe it is a lie straight from the mouth of Satan. I don't know about you, but I have been in many circumstances in my life that I couldn't handle. Moments before our 7th child and 5th son was born, God called him home to heaven. Trust me, I couldn't handle that. I can remember frantically pleading for his life, begging God not to require that of me. But He did. I have sat by my newborn's bedside, watching machines breath for him, and having to think about surgical options or "comfort care" to let him die. Trust me, I couldn't handle that. If I really believed that God wouldn't give me more than I could handle, I would have to conclude that God really doesn't know me (or care), or that I am an epic fail. However, God does give us more than we can handle. It is in those circumstances that we run to Him and rely fully on His strength to get us through. It is those times that bring us to a true and pure form of worship ~ recognizing that it is God alone. God alone who guides, God alone who saves, God alone who gives strength. It is all God.

"But I call to God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and He hears my voice." Psalm 55:16-17

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?" Psalm 56:3-4

"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" Psalm 56:8

God loves it when we run to Him and lay our burdens at His feet. He cares ~ someday you will forget the tears you cried, but God won't. He keeps an accounting of every tear. When we come before Him and admit that we are incapable of handling what we are walking through, He will rescue. Because it is in that admission and in turning to Him that we seek Him and His strength for the journey we are on.

God loves you, God wants to draw you nearer to Himself, God wants to be your strength ~ a very ready help in time of trouble ("God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1). And you admitting that you can't do it, that you need Him...well, I guess I don't know if it's better than a hallelujah, but I believe it *is* a hallelujah.

A Quick Note...

To let you know that I have not forgotten about my post on the church. I have some research I need to do...slowed down by the loss of my concordance! And, at the moment I am swamped with trying to get our content insurance figured out from out house fire. That must take priority at the moment, but when I come up for air, I will get my post on the church written. :-)

May you each have a blessed Advent season!

What Is the Church?

I have been thinking a lot about the church lately. I am working on a blog post about it now. But first, I want to know...if someone on the street were to ask you, what would you say the church is? Please feel free to leave a comment.

Join Me In Worship

Let me start by saying, please join in with me! Take the time to comment and let's worship together.

Adoration, worship, praise...our God is holy and worthy. I was listening to the radio a few weeks ago, and the person they were talking to talked about starting our time with God in praise. She challenged listeners to spend 20 minutes in worship. One of the "tools" that she gave was to take the alphabet and praise God for a character quality that begins with each letter.

I sat down the other morning, before coming into the hospital (and although I didn't take 20 minutes), I did try to come up with at least one character quality for each letter. I just went off the top of my head, I did not pull out my Bible and really do any looking, so for some of the letters I don't have anything, and I may have missed some very obvious ones ~ I am just a little scattered mentally at this point.

Please feel free to comment and add character qualities of God that are different from mine, or share how a particular character quality has touched you or drawn you closer to God.

A- Almighty, Awesome
B- Beside me
C- Constant, Comforter, Counselor
D- Diety
E- Everlasting, Exalted
F- Faithful
G- Great, Gracious
H- Holy
I-
J- Just
K- Kind
L- Loving
M-
N- Never ending
O- Omnicient, Omnipresent
P- Present, Powerful
Q-
R- Rock
S- Steady, Sovereign
T- True
U- Understanding
V-
W- Wonderful
X-
Y-
Z-

There is my incomplete list. Even at that, what a great and awesome God we serve! I look forward to reading what character qualities that you have come up with.

A Day at Home

Today I get to be home. :-) This is getting to be a rare occurrence. It seems as though my days are filled with being gone, and I have come to cherish time spent at home. Although Jethro is almost 6 months old, I still have not really found a rhythm yet here at home because we have been gone so much. My plan is to think and pray about how the days need to flow while we are in the hospital next week. And then, when we are home once again to implement whatever I have come up with.

Yesterday was spent in town. Jethro's INR needed to be drawn and we needed to do some shopping for the house. Today my Beloved is down at the farm, working on the house, and I finally have what I need to get some raspberry jam made. I bought jars and pectin last week, but have not had any cheesecloth ~ which apparently is now a difficult commodity to find! I ended up buying game bags to use because I couldn't locate just plain ol' cheesecloth.

The rental where we are living has a nice an overgrown raspberry patch, that in spite of itself is blessing us with beautiful berries. So, I have been overtaken by the jam bug! The girls are now in the process of washing dishes and tidying the kitchen so that we can proceed.

Today I believe supper will be ham. I bought a lovely ham on Sunday, but lost track of time, so we didn't eat it. It should be big enough to provide at least 2 meals for us, possibly more. So, supper shall be ham, potatoes ~ I may just boil them, but perhaps I will broil them with butter, garlic, oregano, basil, pepper and seasoned salt, fried onion and zucchini, and green salad. A good dinner for my men folk who will have been working hard today.

A Quiet Heart: Trusting in God's Sovereignty

This morning, as I read "Keep A Quiet Heart", I was struck by this quote:

"All of the past, I believe, is a part of God's story of each child of His - a mystery of love and sovereignty, written before the foundation of the world, never a hindrance to the task He has designed for us, but rather the very preparation suited to our particular personality's need.

"How can that be?" ask those whose heritage has not been a godly one as mine was, whose lives have not been peaceful. "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter" (Proverbs 25:2, NIV). God conceals much that we do not need to know, yet we do know that He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out. When does this begin? Does the Shepherd overlook anything that the sheep need?" Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart (emphasis, mine)

I take much comfort in the sovereignty of God. I believe that it is one of His characteristics that can do much for His children to have a quiet heart. No matter what comes my way, I know that it has all passed through the hands of my loving Heavenly Father. That doesn't mean that it's easy to walk through, that it doesn't cause me much pain or sorrow, but it does mean that I can take comfort that whatever it is ~ affliction or joy, my Father has chosen it for me. I don't walk through life with random things happening to me.

I read something recently that caused me to once again realize and give thanks for my views on God's sovereignty. It was from a mom whose child has some very serious health problems. She was fretting over going on vacation (with the child), and had checked out the local hospital and printed out medical histories, etc. She then went on to say how she lives in fear every day of something bad happening to her little one. She cries every day. She basically lives her life in sorrow ~ losing out on the joy of the blessing of her child.

It made me so thankful to be walking the path of "heart mom" as a child of God. A child sure of the sovereignty of her Father. There have been times of grieving that he won't ever be "healthy" or "whole", mostly before he was born, but certainly since then I have had times of being knocked off keel. But, for the most part, I am able to peacefully walk through all of it. I know that God is in control. I know that He loves Jethro far more than I do, and that He is watching over him. I know that God's "got Jethro's six." It doesn't mean that I am not concerned and that I don't diligently watch over him, but it does mean that I am not consumed with worry and sorrow over him and his heart condition.

This applies to other areas of our lives. As I watch my children grow, I pray for them. I pray that God will keep them safe, I pray that He will bless their endeavors, I pray that He will enable them to make good decisions, I pray for their future mates, etc. I hope and pray the best for them. I do my best to teach them and show by example how to live a godly life (though I often fail). However, in the end (or maybe beginning!), I have to turn them over to God. I have to trust that if they are going down a path that I think looks all wrong, that it is part of God's sovereign plan for their life, and that He will use whatever it is to bring glory to Himself.

I have had the privilege of listening to some amazing testimonies by young adults this summer. Some of them only 14 or 16 years old. It would break your heart. Such heartache and pain for ones so young. So much garbage in their lives. Some brought on by decisions they have made, some brought on by decisions of others. And yet, they are living for and loving the Lord. What looks like horrible, nasty, stinky garbage, drew them closer to their Father and gave them a passion for Him that they likely would not have had otherwise. Only God can do that. Only God can take the ugly and make it beautiful. Only God can take the worthless and give it the highest value. He *will* do it...will you trust Him?

I don't know where you're at today, what you are struggling with, or rejoicing over, but I challenge you to take it all to the feet of Jesus and trust Him. Look into His face and walk forward with a quiet heart.

A Simple Life, A Quiet Heart

Wow! It' been quite a while since I posted here. I apologize. Our life has been crazy since Jethro was born. Rebuilding has begun on our house, so I have been shopping...looking for light fixtures, doors, faucets, cabinets, windows, etc. If you would like to see how God has provided for us so far, please feel free to check out my family blog . That is also where I update on Jethro.

I have been longing for a simplified, less hurried life (wonder why???), and yet it would seem at this point in my life, God is saying, "No." We have to make the trip into Spokane at least once a week, sometimes more often, Jethro has been hospitalized at least a half a dozen times, had surgery to place a g-tube, been scheduled for heart surgery, had heart surgery postponed due to a cold, and now we are awaiting a firm date for the surgery again. In the midst of that, 2 of the boys were on a local mission trip, camp happened for two of the children (which did tend to bring a bit more quiet to our home!), 2 of the boys have moved out, we've had 3 birthdays, and driver's ed. And did I mention we're building a house?!?!

So, I believe that God is wanting me to learn how to have a quiet heart in the midst of all of this. And it is something I have been contemplating a lot lately. Last week, at the thrift store, I picked up an Elisabeth Elliot book entitled, "Keep A Quiet Heart". I just began it this morning, and wonder of wonders, it appears to be *just* what God has been speaking to my heart about! Not surprising. He usually works that way in my life...I'll probably start hearing stuff on the radio too, and someone else will bring it up in conversation, etc... :-)

I am hoping to share with you here some of the insights that I am gleaning. Obviously, I've done a terrible job keeping anything going here, but I will try to do better. I know we will have at least one hospitalization this month, so I should get some blogging done.

I would like to share a bit of the first chapter from this book, a bit that was just confirmation to me that I need to have a quiet heart in the midst of my circumstances. If you are in a season when you can't cut things out of your life, but long for a quiet spirit, a spirit of contentment ~ take heart! I believe it is possible, just a little more difficult when surrounded by chaos.

"Jesus slept on a pillow in the midst of a raging storm. How could He? The terrified disciples, sure that the next wave would send them straight to the bottom, shook Him awake with rebuke. How could He be so careless of their fate?

He could because He slept in the calm assurance that His Father was in control. His was a quiet heart. We see Him move serenely through all the events of His life - when He was reviled, He did not revile in return. When He knew that He would suffer many things and be killed in Jerusalem, He never deviated from His course. He had set His face like flint. He sat at supper with one who would deny Him and another who would betray Him, yet He was able to eat with them, willing even to wash their feet. Jesus in the unbroken intimacy of His Father's love, kept a quiet heart."  Elisabeth Elliot, Keep A Quiet Heart 1995

Do I have that kind of trust and reliance on God? In some areas, but not woven throughout my entire life. But it is what I long for.

Come, join me at the feet of Jesus as I seek to learn what it is to have a quiet heart.