Suffering, Pt. 1

Here is the first post in... a few anyway, that I wrote on suffering. The Legend of Thousand Hills Farm

As I have been contemplating suffering and trials, I have also been thinking about how they pertain to us as wives. I believe that we have the influence within our home to make or break our family when it comes to times of suffering.

Wives and Mamas are often referred to as the thermostats within the home. And how we act or react to situations often dictates how our children will react as well as our husbands. If Mama (or Wife, if there are no children in the home), handles trials with trust and faith in God, her children are going to be much less likely to fret and worry, and she is going to be building her husband up during these times instead of beating him down.

Whatever trial we happen to be walking through ~ deployment of a military spouse, the illness of a child, or perhaps the death of a child, unemployment or under-employment ~ we have a choice to make. Are we going to look at our circumstances and become a miserable, naggy wife, difficult to live with and always finding fault; or are we going to look above our circumstances to our Father God, who is our provider, protector and shield. Are we going to find joy in our circumstances, reasons to praise God within those circumstances, and be a boon and source of hope for our family, our husband in particular?

Because it's something that we are dealing with right now, I want to address the unemployment issue. Sometimes it's not total unemployment, but there is only part-time or seasonal work to be had. My Beloved has been out of work ~ a good, steady job ~ for about 2 1/2 years now. During that time, we have been blessed with 2 pregnancies (I am currently due with baby #11 in October). My last pregnancy was with a baby who has a very rare and extremely severe heart defect. We had a house payment to make, bills to pay, and last spring, while our youngest was recovering from open heart surgery, our house burned and we lost almost all our possessions. And, my husband had no job.

Men are created by God to work. It is within their DNA to be a provider. Being out of work is very difficult for them. It hits their ego hard (and I'm talking ego in a good sense/not in thinking too highly of themselves).  My Beloved is a man with a good reputation within the community. He has a great work ethic, and always gives his job everything. He is one of those people who can learn to do just about anything, and do it well. He has a pretty good looking resume as well. And yet, like so many others, he cannot get hired. It seems he is either too qualified or not qualified enough. No one is willing to accept that he just wants a job to provide for his family or they are not willing to put in the minimal time it would take to train him to do the job.

When a man is used to going out every day and working to provide for his family, to go out time and again and be turned down for work...it defeats him. So, what do we do as wives? It is easy for us to be consumed by the bills laying unpaid...or at least overdue. To be worried about where the house payment is coming from, or how we will afford groceries. In that worry, it's easy to nag. To tear him down. Make him feel like he's not trying hard enough, or that he never does anything right.

Sometimes, we have the best of intentions, but our words become a stick to beat our husband with. We can easily cause him to become dejected and depressed.

What a sad place for a woman of God to be. And, if you honestly look at yourself and find yourself there, I hope that you will repent. Ask God for forgiveness and ask your husband to forgive you as well. That kind of behavior reveals a deep-seated idol of control in our heart. We want to control the situation, we don't trust that our husband is doing his best, and worst of all, we are not trusting God to be sovereign and provide.

I am thankful that my husband will tell me when I get this way. I don't like to hear it! But, it also breaks my heart when I know that I am falling so short of my desire to be a godly woman and wife.

Our job is to be our husband's cheerleader. To be the one person who he can always count on to truthfully build him up. To make him feel like a man. A *safe haven*.

Proverbs 31 says: "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life...Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." v. 11-12, 25-26

Are you doing good to your husband? I am not talking about making sure his laundry is clean and dinner's on the table. I'm talking about your attitude and your mouth. Are you tearing him down ~ either to his face or behind his back ~ or are you building him up ~ both to his face and behind his back. You are one with this man that God has joined you to. He needs your honor and respect just as much as you need his love. And you know what? Scripture says that it is to be unconditional...just like his love for you is to be unconditional. Are you honoring him, or are you despising him? My heart breaks for men who do not have respect from their wives. And it's very difficult to think well of a woman, no matter how good a person she may be, if she is disrespectful of her husband.

Ultimately it is a lack of trust in God. Do we truly believe that God will provide? If not, then I guess I can see how you would nag your husband and fuss at him about getting a good job. But, something that I have come to realize...rather quickly into this journey of unemployment, is that it is much like trying to conceive a baby. You can do all you can do, but if God doesn't make it happen....it's not going to. A man can apply, he can put his best foot forward, he can interview well, he can have all the right qualifications, but he cannot make someone hire him. Only God can open that door in His timing. We need to trust God. We need to believe Him when He says that He will provide. Will it look just like we think it should? Likely not. But, we have seen Him miraculously provide for us over and over these past 2 years. Even when our husband is working, it is still God who provides. So, trust God, and be your husband's best cheerleader. It will be an incredible blessing to him, during a very difficult time, and it will only improve your marriage and family life. 

Is Church Membership Biblical?

Here is another 'installment' in my 'What is the church series.' :-) This is an excellent article by Pastor Matt Chandler. Hope you enjoy it, and that it gives you either food for thought or Biblical proof for your stance.


Is Church Membership Biblical? Just click on the link to read the article.

Bride of Christ or Cheap Whore?

I don't know if this really falls into the 'Godly marriage' category, but it definitely falls onto the rabbit trail that I warned you would happen when I first started this blog! :-) I posted....goodness, I think in November! about 'what is the church?' This is a continuation of that, and I imagine there will be at least one more post in this "series".

Many years ago, we had a situation in our church. It was necessary to implement church discipline. Our church had never done that before (at least it had be a very loooong time since it had), and it didn't go so well. The person being brought under discipline basically threw their membership in our faces and walked away, and several other members left as well ~ believing that discipline was not the 'loving' thing to do.

So, this created in my mind a question as to the validity of church membership. It had obviously made no difference in that situation, so what difference *did* it make? If someone is committed to a body of believers, then they are committed whether or not there is a piece of paper stating it to be so, and if they decide they are not going to be, then that piece of paper makes no difference. Right? Of course, that kind of sounds like an argument that couples who live together but won't marry use. We're committed to each other whether or not there is a piece of paper saying we are. Right...whatever...

And then there is the argument that there isn't a command in Scripture to have church membership. So, there isn't a "Thou shalt be a registered member of a church". Does that mean that church membership isn't a Biblical principle? And often, not always, but often, the people that use these "excuses" to not hold a church membership end up being church hoppers. They come into a body, stay a while; until the pastor isn't meeting their expectations, or until someone offends them, or tries to hold them accountable, or until they get bored, or whatever, and then they move on to a different church where they stay until a similar scenario happens and then they move on yet again.

I think to really address the issue we have to look at the God we serve. The God who happens to be the Creator of the Universe, the Giver of Life, the Foundation of the Church. The One who gave His Son to die for His bride, the church. What is God like? Is He fickle in His relationships? Is He committed? Is He a loner, or does He live in community?

God is a God of community. As the Bible opens with the book of Genesis, we see Him creating the world and everything within it. He creates man and says that it is not good that man is alone, so He creates woman to be man's companion and helpmeet. But God is not satisfied with that, He also spends time each day, in the cool of the evening, walking with man in the garden. This is a God that values relationship. We continually see broken relationship as punishment. When Cain kills Abel, he becomes an outcast ~ God does protect his life, but He is still left to be a wanderer. When Moses kills the Egyptian, he must flee everything, everyone he knows. And on through to the New Testament, where we are told to put those believer's in unrepentant sin out of fellowship.

God is faithful and true. If you are one of His chosen children, there is nothing you can do to cause Him to stop loving you or stop being faithful to you. How should this aspect of His character affect how we treat the church?

We also know that our God is covenantal. He shows His commitment to relationships by covenanting. He makes covenants with Abram, Noah and Moses, and through the blood of Christ, He has made a covenant with all believers. God *commits* in a very real, tangible way to those He chooses, to those He will be faithful to, to those He loves. I believe that our church membership mirrors this characteristic of God. No, there isn't a 'thou shalt' when it comes to church membership, but what would God do? What does He do? He doesn't just leave it up to emotions and want to's to be involved. He commits.

I have already referred to the church as the Bride of Christ. We know that. It's in scripture. But are we treating her that way?  A few years ago, at the home discipleship conference we attend, one of the speakers talked about the church and our attitude toward her. He talked about the church being Christ's bride, and how that should affect our attitude toward our local body of believers. We need to look at the church ~ local and universal and see the Bride that Christ *died* for. If she is worth His life, should we treat her so flippantly and disrespectfully? It really impacted me, and likely was the beginning of this set of posts.

Watching various people in our lives who move from one church body to another, not for any real, valid reason ~ such as heresy being preached from the pulpit, or sins being ignored, etc., but for preferences or offenses, or whatever...it makes me think on how it affects the body of believers, what does it do to the body to have these non-committed people just moving in and out of our midst? How does it affect their children? What are they learning ~ not how to faithful. What are they taking in about the church?

Is the church the Bride of Christ, or a Cheap Whore? How do you treat her? She *is* the Bride, so if you aren't treating her like that, how disrespectful is it to her Groom, our Lord Jesus Christ?

Better than a Hallelujah

I am preparing to sing this song for church this coming Sunday. I have spent a fair amount of time not only working on the song, but thinking about the words. I had no idea until I looked at it on YouTube that there were people who believe this to be a totally unbiblical message. I disagree, and will share more after the song.



Why would a mother's tears, a drunkard's cry, a soldier's plea....why would any of these ever be better than a Hallelujah? It has to do with brokenness and surrender. I think that those things are better than a Hallelujah because they *are* a hallelujah. They are not a word of worship, they are an act of worship. I have been a Mama shedding tears in the night ~ have you? They were tears of fear, of acknowledgment of my inability to handle the situation, tears of pleading, and some of them have been tears of gratefulness and thanksgiving...all acts of worship.

"For though the Lord is high, He regards the lowly, but the haughty He knows from afar." Psalm 138:6

"Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished." Proverbs 16:5

"For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." Mark 7:21-23


I wonder what the stench of our self-sufficiency is to God's nostrils. We live in a society that takes pride in 'pulling one's self up by your bootstraps', and being a loner, and 'I can do it'. But it all smacks of just that...pride. Pride is something that God hates. He wants us to ackowledge and live like we can't do it without Him ~ 'cause guess what? We can't.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

I hear people say it all the time, and it is my most despised saying, "God won't give you more than you can handle." Really? Says who? And, what makes you think you can handle breathing? I think this is said in very well-intentioned ways, but I believe it is a lie straight from the mouth of Satan. I don't know about you, but I have been in many circumstances in my life that I couldn't handle. Moments before our 7th child and 5th son was born, God called him home to heaven. Trust me, I couldn't handle that. I can remember frantically pleading for his life, begging God not to require that of me. But He did. I have sat by my newborn's bedside, watching machines breath for him, and having to think about surgical options or "comfort care" to let him die. Trust me, I couldn't handle that. If I really believed that God wouldn't give me more than I could handle, I would have to conclude that God really doesn't know me (or care), or that I am an epic fail. However, God does give us more than we can handle. It is in those circumstances that we run to Him and rely fully on His strength to get us through. It is those times that bring us to a true and pure form of worship ~ recognizing that it is God alone. God alone who guides, God alone who saves, God alone who gives strength. It is all God.

"But I call to God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and He hears my voice." Psalm 55:16-17

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?" Psalm 56:3-4

"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" Psalm 56:8

God loves it when we run to Him and lay our burdens at His feet. He cares ~ someday you will forget the tears you cried, but God won't. He keeps an accounting of every tear. When we come before Him and admit that we are incapable of handling what we are walking through, He will rescue. Because it is in that admission and in turning to Him that we seek Him and His strength for the journey we are on.

God loves you, God wants to draw you nearer to Himself, God wants to be your strength ~ a very ready help in time of trouble ("God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1). And you admitting that you can't do it, that you need Him...well, I guess I don't know if it's better than a hallelujah, but I believe it *is* a hallelujah.

A Quick Note...

To let you know that I have not forgotten about my post on the church. I have some research I need to do...slowed down by the loss of my concordance! And, at the moment I am swamped with trying to get our content insurance figured out from out house fire. That must take priority at the moment, but when I come up for air, I will get my post on the church written. :-)

May you each have a blessed Advent season!

What Is the Church?

I have been thinking a lot about the church lately. I am working on a blog post about it now. But first, I want to know...if someone on the street were to ask you, what would you say the church is? Please feel free to leave a comment.

Join Me In Worship

Let me start by saying, please join in with me! Take the time to comment and let's worship together.

Adoration, worship, praise...our God is holy and worthy. I was listening to the radio a few weeks ago, and the person they were talking to talked about starting our time with God in praise. She challenged listeners to spend 20 minutes in worship. One of the "tools" that she gave was to take the alphabet and praise God for a character quality that begins with each letter.

I sat down the other morning, before coming into the hospital (and although I didn't take 20 minutes), I did try to come up with at least one character quality for each letter. I just went off the top of my head, I did not pull out my Bible and really do any looking, so for some of the letters I don't have anything, and I may have missed some very obvious ones ~ I am just a little scattered mentally at this point.

Please feel free to comment and add character qualities of God that are different from mine, or share how a particular character quality has touched you or drawn you closer to God.

A- Almighty, Awesome
B- Beside me
C- Constant, Comforter, Counselor
D- Diety
E- Everlasting, Exalted
F- Faithful
G- Great, Gracious
H- Holy
I-
J- Just
K- Kind
L- Loving
M-
N- Never ending
O- Omnicient, Omnipresent
P- Present, Powerful
Q-
R- Rock
S- Steady, Sovereign
T- True
U- Understanding
V-
W- Wonderful
X-
Y-
Z-

There is my incomplete list. Even at that, what a great and awesome God we serve! I look forward to reading what character qualities that you have come up with.

A Day at Home

Today I get to be home. :-) This is getting to be a rare occurrence. It seems as though my days are filled with being gone, and I have come to cherish time spent at home. Although Jethro is almost 6 months old, I still have not really found a rhythm yet here at home because we have been gone so much. My plan is to think and pray about how the days need to flow while we are in the hospital next week. And then, when we are home once again to implement whatever I have come up with.

Yesterday was spent in town. Jethro's INR needed to be drawn and we needed to do some shopping for the house. Today my Beloved is down at the farm, working on the house, and I finally have what I need to get some raspberry jam made. I bought jars and pectin last week, but have not had any cheesecloth ~ which apparently is now a difficult commodity to find! I ended up buying game bags to use because I couldn't locate just plain ol' cheesecloth.

The rental where we are living has a nice an overgrown raspberry patch, that in spite of itself is blessing us with beautiful berries. So, I have been overtaken by the jam bug! The girls are now in the process of washing dishes and tidying the kitchen so that we can proceed.

Today I believe supper will be ham. I bought a lovely ham on Sunday, but lost track of time, so we didn't eat it. It should be big enough to provide at least 2 meals for us, possibly more. So, supper shall be ham, potatoes ~ I may just boil them, but perhaps I will broil them with butter, garlic, oregano, basil, pepper and seasoned salt, fried onion and zucchini, and green salad. A good dinner for my men folk who will have been working hard today.

A Quiet Heart: Trusting in God's Sovereignty

This morning, as I read "Keep A Quiet Heart", I was struck by this quote:

"All of the past, I believe, is a part of God's story of each child of His - a mystery of love and sovereignty, written before the foundation of the world, never a hindrance to the task He has designed for us, but rather the very preparation suited to our particular personality's need.

"How can that be?" ask those whose heritage has not been a godly one as mine was, whose lives have not been peaceful. "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter" (Proverbs 25:2, NIV). God conceals much that we do not need to know, yet we do know that He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out. When does this begin? Does the Shepherd overlook anything that the sheep need?" Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart (emphasis, mine)

I take much comfort in the sovereignty of God. I believe that it is one of His characteristics that can do much for His children to have a quiet heart. No matter what comes my way, I know that it has all passed through the hands of my loving Heavenly Father. That doesn't mean that it's easy to walk through, that it doesn't cause me much pain or sorrow, but it does mean that I can take comfort that whatever it is ~ affliction or joy, my Father has chosen it for me. I don't walk through life with random things happening to me.

I read something recently that caused me to once again realize and give thanks for my views on God's sovereignty. It was from a mom whose child has some very serious health problems. She was fretting over going on vacation (with the child), and had checked out the local hospital and printed out medical histories, etc. She then went on to say how she lives in fear every day of something bad happening to her little one. She cries every day. She basically lives her life in sorrow ~ losing out on the joy of the blessing of her child.

It made me so thankful to be walking the path of "heart mom" as a child of God. A child sure of the sovereignty of her Father. There have been times of grieving that he won't ever be "healthy" or "whole", mostly before he was born, but certainly since then I have had times of being knocked off keel. But, for the most part, I am able to peacefully walk through all of it. I know that God is in control. I know that He loves Jethro far more than I do, and that He is watching over him. I know that God's "got Jethro's six." It doesn't mean that I am not concerned and that I don't diligently watch over him, but it does mean that I am not consumed with worry and sorrow over him and his heart condition.

This applies to other areas of our lives. As I watch my children grow, I pray for them. I pray that God will keep them safe, I pray that He will bless their endeavors, I pray that He will enable them to make good decisions, I pray for their future mates, etc. I hope and pray the best for them. I do my best to teach them and show by example how to live a godly life (though I often fail). However, in the end (or maybe beginning!), I have to turn them over to God. I have to trust that if they are going down a path that I think looks all wrong, that it is part of God's sovereign plan for their life, and that He will use whatever it is to bring glory to Himself.

I have had the privilege of listening to some amazing testimonies by young adults this summer. Some of them only 14 or 16 years old. It would break your heart. Such heartache and pain for ones so young. So much garbage in their lives. Some brought on by decisions they have made, some brought on by decisions of others. And yet, they are living for and loving the Lord. What looks like horrible, nasty, stinky garbage, drew them closer to their Father and gave them a passion for Him that they likely would not have had otherwise. Only God can do that. Only God can take the ugly and make it beautiful. Only God can take the worthless and give it the highest value. He *will* do it...will you trust Him?

I don't know where you're at today, what you are struggling with, or rejoicing over, but I challenge you to take it all to the feet of Jesus and trust Him. Look into His face and walk forward with a quiet heart.

A Simple Life, A Quiet Heart

Wow! It' been quite a while since I posted here. I apologize. Our life has been crazy since Jethro was born. Rebuilding has begun on our house, so I have been shopping...looking for light fixtures, doors, faucets, cabinets, windows, etc. If you would like to see how God has provided for us so far, please feel free to check out my family blog . That is also where I update on Jethro.

I have been longing for a simplified, less hurried life (wonder why???), and yet it would seem at this point in my life, God is saying, "No." We have to make the trip into Spokane at least once a week, sometimes more often, Jethro has been hospitalized at least a half a dozen times, had surgery to place a g-tube, been scheduled for heart surgery, had heart surgery postponed due to a cold, and now we are awaiting a firm date for the surgery again. In the midst of that, 2 of the boys were on a local mission trip, camp happened for two of the children (which did tend to bring a bit more quiet to our home!), 2 of the boys have moved out, we've had 3 birthdays, and driver's ed. And did I mention we're building a house?!?!

So, I believe that God is wanting me to learn how to have a quiet heart in the midst of all of this. And it is something I have been contemplating a lot lately. Last week, at the thrift store, I picked up an Elisabeth Elliot book entitled, "Keep A Quiet Heart". I just began it this morning, and wonder of wonders, it appears to be *just* what God has been speaking to my heart about! Not surprising. He usually works that way in my life...I'll probably start hearing stuff on the radio too, and someone else will bring it up in conversation, etc... :-)

I am hoping to share with you here some of the insights that I am gleaning. Obviously, I've done a terrible job keeping anything going here, but I will try to do better. I know we will have at least one hospitalization this month, so I should get some blogging done.

I would like to share a bit of the first chapter from this book, a bit that was just confirmation to me that I need to have a quiet heart in the midst of my circumstances. If you are in a season when you can't cut things out of your life, but long for a quiet spirit, a spirit of contentment ~ take heart! I believe it is possible, just a little more difficult when surrounded by chaos.

"Jesus slept on a pillow in the midst of a raging storm. How could He? The terrified disciples, sure that the next wave would send them straight to the bottom, shook Him awake with rebuke. How could He be so careless of their fate?

He could because He slept in the calm assurance that His Father was in control. His was a quiet heart. We see Him move serenely through all the events of His life - when He was reviled, He did not revile in return. When He knew that He would suffer many things and be killed in Jerusalem, He never deviated from His course. He had set His face like flint. He sat at supper with one who would deny Him and another who would betray Him, yet He was able to eat with them, willing even to wash their feet. Jesus in the unbroken intimacy of His Father's love, kept a quiet heart."  Elisabeth Elliot, Keep A Quiet Heart 1995

Do I have that kind of trust and reliance on God? In some areas, but not woven throughout my entire life. But it is what I long for.

Come, join me at the feet of Jesus as I seek to learn what it is to have a quiet heart.

Quick Update

Sorry that I have been so absent! I have things I want to blog about, but there is not a lot of time these days, and now we have dial-up :-(, so I try to be careful about the amount of time I spend on the computer ~ not a bad thing!

We have been out of the hospital for almost a month. Jethro is doing well, we have a small pharmacy in our house now, and I think I may be on my way to being a nurse, but we are adjusting. We go to Dr.s appts (scheduled) every other week, but have seen our Dr.s about once a week since getting out. We spent one afternoon back at the hospital, but the Dr. ended up releasing us, so we didn't spend the entire weekend, which is what we had expected. We are so thankful that the Lord has blessed us in this way. When they discharged us, they told us to expect to be back...it just works that way with heart babies.

On St. Patrick's Day, our house burned. This is not the phone call you want to get when you are in the hospital with a baby in the PICU following open heart surgery! However, God is so good! Because we were in the hospital, none of the children were home, and we did not have to worry about anyone being hurt. We lost some precious things, but in the end, they are just that...things. And it was so much easier to put into perspective the loss of a house when we were/are dealing with life and death issues with Jethro. Please don't misunderstand ~ losing the house and our possessions is still not an easy thing, but I believe that if it was the only thing we were dealing with it would be much more devastating. As always, God's timing is perfect, and I praise Him for the ability to see that.

So, for the time being, we are in a rental ~ a house I have wanted to live in since I was a little girl ~ and waiting to see what the insurance is going to do. We will rebuild, it's just a wait and see game at this point. If you are so inclined, we would appreciate prayers for the insurance company to work quickly and for wisdom for us in how best to proceed with a rebuild. There are so many options, but we may not have a lot to rebuild with, and we need a fairly sizable house with the number of us that there is.

So, that is the Cliff Note version of what's going on. Thank you to those of you who continue to come and read. At some point, I will get back to posting on a more regular basis.

Announcing...

Jethro Storms Dole
February 26 via emergency c-sec
9lb 1oz, 22" long

Jethro was born with a congenital heart defect (CHD) known as Ebstein's Abnormality of the Tricuspid Valve, and Pulmonary Atresia. Ebstein's is a rare defect, only affecting 1 in every 210,000 babies. To make things even more difficult, Jethro was born with a severe form of it.

At this moment, I am writing from his room in the NICU where he was born. We are praying for stability as he is scheduled for surgery in the morning to begin the process of turning his heart into a 2 chamber organ instead of 4 chambered. Tomorrow will be the first of 3 surgeries performed over the next 3 years. It is open heart, so carries a fair amount of risk, but without the surgery, his condition is incompatible with life ~ not something a Mama wants to hear concerning her child.

I have been fairly absent here, and hope to rectify that, but I honestly don't know when I'll be able to.

If you are interested in keeping up with Jethro and what's going on, you can check out our family blog, The Legend of Thousand Hills Farm , or, if you are on Facebook some friends/family have set up a group for him that you can join. It's Jethro Storms Dole.

We appreciate your prayers.

Living Set Apart and Holy

If you follow our family blog, you may have already read this. However, I wanted to post it here as well, because I have some thoughts that I want to share about how this applies to living out our lives as godly wives. This was written by my oldest son, Will, who is 19. After reading it, I asked him if I could share it, and he graciously gave his consent. I hope to post my thoughts on this in the next few days. Here now, is Will's post:

So this is mostly just writing to myself...but honestly most of what I write is. I comprehend and process better if I have to put things into words. So I shall attempt to share the lesson God has been teaching me of late. The subject is holiness.

We shall start with our premise that we, by nature, are sinners condemned to hell. We are condemned to hell because God is holy and perfect and cannot tolerate sin. But because in addition to His holiness and justice, God is also loving and merciful, He offers His son Jesus, as a sacrifice for our sin, and faith in the redeeming work of Christ is the only way to heaven. Once we have by faith accepted that covering for our sin, we are promised a place in heaven. And we are called to be saints...which is where the fun begins...

Like I said, this is something that I have struggled a lot with lately. Mostly because I love my sin. Sin is quite often fun. I mean, some of it isn't, and then there are consequences you have to deal with afterward...but let's be honest, if there wasn't some enjoyable quality to most sin, wouldn't everyone be perfect? And so, I have been trying to walk sideways on the slippery slope of sinning whilst trying to maintain my relationship with Christ. Some people call this walking the fence, but I like the slope analogy better, just because it makes it obvious that it will all lead in one direction. But back to the point. I have really felt God calling me into ministry (not sure what capacity yet, we shall see), and so I've been trying to study more and really grow in Him. And interestingly enough, all at once, He has sent influences from every side, whether it be sermons, to sermons I listen to online, to Bible study, to casual conversations...and it keeps boiling down to one thing. We must live holy, set apart lives for Christ. Which is a hard concept for me, but here's what I've been learning.

As I've been hammered with this subject I have found it interesting the large number of different passages that directly address the issue. Let's go over a few of my favorites...
Ephesians 1:4-"just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love..." He chose us before the foundation of the world. To be holy. To be without blame. Wow. I don't know about you, but this makes me feel two big things right off the bat-1)How amazing that the God of the universe cares enough about me that before the foundations of our very planet were laid He picked me out to be one of His chosen holy. What an amazing privilege. 2)What a huge responsibility. God went to the trouble of making me, calling me to be like Him, and all I can muster is some half-hearted attempt to be better than the Jones' down the street. How pathetic I am. But despite how much of a loser I am, there is hope. And we will get to that in a bit, but first let's look more into holiness.

Ephesians 4:20-24-"But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." This one is quite interesting to me, because a slight rabbit trail that my brain has been taking with this is the whole idea of "being true to yourself". Everywhere we turn that's what talked about, our entire culture is built upon being yourself and doing what you want. Well I want to propose something here. That the concept of, "being you" is both undesirable and unbiblical. "You" (and me, and anyone walking this earth) are a sinner. Our hearts are corrupt and deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), beyond repair. We in ourselves, have nothing. There is no good, no commendable qualities to pursue. But there is a second part to that verse in Ephesians, which closely parallels a more familiar Romans passage...

Romans 12:1,2-" I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." God doesn't just sit there and tell us how bad we are, but He'll save us anyway. No, he says, yes I saved you from that. I have called you out of the pit and into light-now turn from your wicked ways! Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This blows my mind, people always talk about how Christianity is a set of rules, just ties you down...it's the exact opposite! Jesus offers ultimate freedom, freedom from ourselves. Freedom from the bondage that is sin.

Romans 6:14-"For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace." God pulls us out of sin and allows us to choose life, and choose to follow him. How freeing is that?

My point in all of this is to say that God has called us, as men and women of His, to a higher standard. This isn't just for Pastors, youth leaders, or "spiritual" people. This is everyone who calls themselves a Christian. This world needs change, people. This world needs hope. And that is only going to come through the Gospel, and we will only be effective in spreading that if we are living the life that He has called us to live. Holy. Set apart. Saints of God.

Will Dole copyright 2009

I apologize

I'm sorry that I have not been posting here. I do want to finish Ruth, and there are some other things that I have been pondering. However, we have found out that the baby I am carrying has a serious congenital heart defect, and much of my time has been spent going to Dr. appointments. And most of my blogging time has been spent on our family blog, where I am updating on the baby. If you are interested in keeping up with what is going on with our son's heart, go to The Legend of Thousand Hills Farm .

I do not plan on abandoning this blog! I just don't know how much time I'm going to have to write here. The baby is due in late February, and then we will be spending time in the NICU. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated. For specific prayer requests, you can check out our family blog.

Thank you for your patience!

Holidays

I just added a button on the left from the Old Schoolhouse magazine. They are generously giving away an almost 200 page e-book! It has wonderful ideas for Thanksgiving and Christmas ~ crafts, food, color pages for the children ~ even calender pages for November and December to help you keep the Holiday Chaos under control! :-)

It's a beautiful, full-color e-book. So, download one today and enjoy your holidays!

Ruth Chapter 3

Finally, we are back to Ruth! One of the reasons it has taken me so long to post on Ch. 3, is because I'm not really sure what to say. :-) I find myself reading it, longing for that kind of relationship, but not knowing how to get there.

Ruth trusts the people in her life. On a deeper level, I believe that she trusts God to lead her through the people in her life. When Naomi shares with her the custom of going and laying at a man's (Boaz's) feet, she doesn't argue or question her, she just does it. She trusts her mother-in-law to guide her in doing what is right and appropriate. When Boaz gives her instruction, she doesn't argue or question him either, she just does it. She trusts him to do what is right and good.

The other thing that really struck me in chapter 3, is that although Ruth's actions are bold, she is not. When she goes to the threshing floor, she goes softly, she quietly uncovers his feet and lies down ~ Boaz doesn't even know she's there until the middle of the night. Once he discovers her, he once again commends her character and blesses her.

As a wife, what I take away from chapter 3 is that I need to trust God. My relationship with my Heavenly Father needs to be such that I know Him well enough to know that He is trustworthy. I can trust my Beloved to lead me in paths of righteousness, because I can trust my God to lead me through my Beloved. This is something that I have 'known' for several years, but have had a hard time putting into practice. Over the last couple of years, God has shown me again and again, that even when I can't see it, He is leading through my Beloved. My job is to trust and follow. Not easy for someone as headstrong as I tend to be. But so necessary if I truly want to be a godly woman. I also see that I can do bold things, but they can be accomplished with a meek and gentle spirit. My desire is to behave in such a way that it reflects my Father's character.

Chapter 3 leaves me with the desire to be a godly woman. As my boys grow older and begin to enter the stage of life where they might bring home a young woman who is destined to be their bride, I long to have the kind of relationship that Naomi and Ruth shared. Not to replace or displace her mother, but to add to and bless her with another trusted adviser, to share in common the love of God and which ever son she loves. And that leaves me feeling somewhat adrift. Other than praying for that kind of relationship, I don't know how to achieve it. I don't see that around me. What I see most often is a strained relationship between the mothers of sons and the son's wife. I see young women not willing to listen to the wise counsel of their mother-in-laws, and only willing to listen to and love their own families. And it makes me sad, because I believe that God has so much more for us ~ I believe He shows us what could be in the book of Ruth ~ if we would just embrace His design.

If you have this kind of relationship with a daughter-in-law, would you share with us? Would you share how you have cultivated this love and trust? I am certain that I am not the only one desiring this, and yet at a loss as how to accomplish it when the time comes.

Being Content

**I will get back to the book of Ruth, but something else has been on my mind this week, and so I decided that I would write a post on contentedness instead of pushing ahead with Ruth.**

In the book of Philippians, Paul wrote: "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

We have come face to face with this over the last 8 months, and I think that with the economy being what it is, many of you probably have as well. Maybe you have been able to be content, and maybe you haven't. I have been so thankful for the many things God has brought us through over the last several years, so that as we have walked through these months of unemployment and sporadic employment, we have been able to completely trust in Him. Don't get me wrong ~ there have been moments of panic and worry ~ but they have been minimal. I was telling a friend yesterday that God is so...well, God. :-) Is there truly any adjective that can adequately describe our great and glorious Father?

Being content can be difficult. But I do believe that the key is keeping our focus on God. If we are looking at our circumstances, then being content is going to be difficult. I'm not talking about sticking our head in the sand, and pretending that whatever is happening isn't. But I am talking about not "focusing" on our circumstances. Some of us are worriers by nature. It is difficult for us not to worry ~ there's always something to worry over! Some of us belong to communities that, depending on our personality can make it difficult to be content. The homeschooling community can be like that. I don't believe it means to be. :-) But as things are taught (Biblically based things), it can make it difficult to be content with where God has us. The entrepreneurial movement caused many to be discontent with being employed by someone else. However, God does not call every man to be an entrepreneur. Some men are just going to be employees. I do believe that we all benefit from entrepreneurial thinking, but that does not mean we are all going to be self-employed.

The call now for fathers to be more involved with their children; particularly their sons, can cause discontent ~ especially for mamas! Now, I do want to say before I go any further, that I do believe that a father's involvement is crucial ~ for both our sons and daughters. But I as a woman cannot truly teach my sons how to be men. I can impart wisdom to them, and I can teach them many things that are integral to being a man, but by virtue of my sex, there are many things that they just need to learn from their Daddy or another godly man. We have one son in particular that just because of his temperament and some of the issues we have had with him needs his Dad to "take him in hand" more than the other boys did/do. But, my Beloved is working for a farmer right now. He is gone before light and doesn't get home until after dark. I can allow this to cause me to be discontent ~ and contentious with him when he gets home ~ or I can choose to be content because God has provided this job for him at this time. I am thinking and praying about ways he can still be more involved with this son, but for now I am not dinging at him about it. God knows what my children need, He knows what I need, and He knows what my Beloved needs. When my Beloved does get home, he is only up for a couple of hours before he's in bed and I believe that time is better spent with us being able to talk and the children being able to talk and snuggle with their Daddy before bedtime. I could fuss at him about making lists of chores for the older boys to accomplish, but in this season it's not the most important thing. I am his helpmeet. Right now that means that I need to look around the place and see what needs to be done, and get the boys to working. For instance the other day, I put one of the boys to work putting the roof on our wood shed. We've had the materials for probably a year, but my Beloved just hasn't had the time to get it done. So, I gave one of the older boys the task of getting the roof on the shed, telling him how it would bless his dad to have that project done. Now we just need to get the wood stacked. ;-)

These past 8 months have been such a blessing to us. We have seen God provide for specific bills we didn't have money to pay, we have seen God provide work when we needed it (though not a job), we have seen God provide for our needs through the generous gifts of our brothers and sisters in Christ. He truly is Jehovah Jireh! We have come to the realization (!) that God is the one who provides. He is the one who always provides, but when our husbands are bringing home a paycheck, it's easy to forget that it's God and not our husband who is providing for our family. These past months have stripped away all pretense of self-reliance, and made plain the reality, the truth that it is God who is providing for our family's needs.

GOD IS OUR PROVIDER

Do you believe that? This is where the contentment rubber meets the road. :-) If I believe that God is sovereign over all, if I believe that what God brings into our lives is better than what I would want, if I believe that God loves me and what He provides is enough, then I am going to be content. I have come to realize that while my Beloved is responsible for looking for work, putting in applications, doing his best and projecting the best image possible at interviews, ultimately the getting of a job is God's arena. My Beloved can do everything to the best of his abilities, but he cannot force someone to hire him. Only God can provide the job. This has actually been a very freeing realization. It has allowed me to settle into contentment much more quickly than I think I would have otherwise.

We have been praying about a particular job, but with my Beloved farming right now, timing is not what I think it should be. :-) Last week, I spent too much time worrying about it. He needs to talk to this person, this needs to get done, how will he have time, etc. It began with just a few thoughts about it here and there, but began to crescendo in my heart and mind. After spending the better part of one day worrying about it, I realized I needed to stop and pray about it and just leave it with God. After all, if he is to have this job, it will be in God's timing. So, I prayed. I prayed about the timing of it all, I prayed that God would move my Beloved to do what he needs to do when he needs to do it, etc. About 2 days after I had prayed about it, my Beloved came home, and all he wanted to talk about was this job and what he needs to do and how I need to help him. Now, God does not always answer our prayers so quickly ~ and I am not suggesting that you grab onto a "name it and claim it" or "prosperity gospel" type of beliefs ~ but I am suggesting that instead of stewing on something you pray about it and quit worrying! I can be content because I trust that God is going to do what is best for our family ~ whether that happens to be what I want or not, in the time I want ~ and rarely if ever does God work on my timetable!

Trust God that He has you right where He wants you; right where you need to be. Believe that He is working everything for your good ~ your family's good. And if contentment is difficult for you to find, pray about it and ask God to help you find it. He's faithful ~ I'm pretty sure that's a prayer He will answer.

.

Spiced Peach Jam

This is one of our favorite jam recipes (besides Huckleberry!). My mom also just found out that it makes super bee trap bait!

Spiced Peach Jam

4 C (about 3lbs) ripe peaches, peeled, pitted, and ground or chopped fine
1/4 C lemon juice
7 1/2 C sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp allspice
1/2 (6oz) bottle liquid pectin

• Combine peaches and lemon juice.
• Add sugar and spices ~ mix well. Place over high heat and bring to a full rolling boil; boil hard 1 minute, stirring constantly.
• Remove from heat; immediately stir in pectin. Skim off foam with metal spoon. Cool slightly, stir and skim by turns for 5 minutes. Ladle into hot sterilized jars and seal.
• Let jam sit about 2 weeks before using.

Makes 6 half pints.

Enjoy!

Ruth Chapter 2

Ruth ch. 2 tells us of Ruth's life back in Judah with Naomi.

As they return, Ruth takes the initiative in helping provide for them. She goes out into the fields to glean and bring home grain. She was obviously not afraid of hard work, and was willing to do what she needed to to help Naomi.

As Ruth is gleaning in the fields, Boaz takes notice of her ~ her reputation precedes her.
"But Boaz answered her, 'All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me, and how you left your father and mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before. The Lord repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the Lord, the God of Isarael, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!'" Ruth 2:11-12

One of the things that struck me as I read through chapter 2 is Boaz and his behavior. Every time I have ever heard the book of Ruth preached on, the speaker talks of Ruth's boldness towards Boaz. But, as I read ch. 2, I see Boaz taking the lead. He has heard of Ruth and how she has cared for Naomi. He pulls her aside and speaks with her, telling her of the good he has heard about her, he invites her to eat with him ~ making sure that she eats her fill and has some extra to take home, he watches over her, taking care to make sure the men in the field leave her alone, and he instructs his men to leave bundles of grain for her to "glean". From the very beginning, Boaz is taking care of her, showing her deference, and basically loving her. Ruth's later boldness comes, I think, from these initial actions by Boaz.

We see that Ruth is very diligent in her work, beginning early in the morning and gleaning until the evening. When she returns home, she not only brings the gleanings, but she brings home the prepared food left from lunch for Naomi as well.

I think, in ch.2, we can get the most instruction from Ruth as a daughter-in-law. It was very convicting to me as I read. I had a strained relationship with my mother-in-law, and she has now been gone for over 13 years, so I cannot try to make things right. What we see is a young woman who is more than willing to care for her mother-in-law, she acts on that willingness. We see that her reputation preceded her in how she cared for Naomi. If you moved to a new place, and the only thing to recommend you to others was your reputation for how you treated your mother-in-law, what would people think of you? Would you be as well thought-of as Ruth? Or would people have a poor opinion of you?

I do believe that Naomi was probably an exceptional woman and that the two women had a good relationship. But, I don't think things were probably always rosy. They were very poor, both being widows, and we know from Naomi's own words that she was bitter. Bitter people can be extremely hard to get along with. Yet, Ruth is known for her love and care of Naomi. So, a difficult mother-in-law is no excuse. Our behavior is not dependent on other's actions.

Do you have a 'care-taker' mentality toward your mother-in-law? Perhaps she is a very capable woman, or you live far from her, but you can still love and care for her (and distance might actually make that easier!). If needed, would you willingly take her into your home and provide for her?

Years ago, we took my Beloved's father into our home. He was very, very ill and needed surgery, but he was too weak to withstand the surgery. So, he came to our house to be strengthened. We had had a very difficult relationship. To bring him into our home was not something that I relished, but felt like we needed to do. He was only with us for a month or two, but it was a major turning point in our relationship. I am so thankful that we brought him home and cared for him. It gave our children an opportunity to know their grandpa better (we lived several hours away from them and did not see them often), and it gave me an opportunity to put love to action toward my father-in-law. Some of the things that we do for my Beloved's step-mom are to call her on a fairly regular basis and see how she is doing. When we are in the area, we always stop and visit. We do what we can (long distance) to show her love and respect. If she needed it, we would take her into our home in a moment. This is an attitude change that has only been brought about by the working of the Holy Spirit (for both my Beloved and I).

You may have a long list of hurts inflicted by your in-laws, but I encourage you to take them to the Lord and leave them at His feet. Ask Him to give you a super-natural love for your in-laws. Perhaps the relationship is such that you really can't spend time around them, but that doesn't mean you can't get creative and still honor and love them. Maybe you have a great relationship ~ if so, praise God! Are there still ways you can love them better?

What were some of your thoughts as you read through chapter 2? Please share! This week, we'll read chapter 3.

Ruth Chapter 1

As I read through Ruth Chapter 1, I wasn't really sure what I could pull out of it. Which is one reason I'm a week or two late in getting this posted. I just needed to think on it a bit.



One of the things I found interesting is that from the way the text is written, it would appear that Naomi's sons waited until after their father died before taking wives.



"But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband." Ruth 1:3-5



Since the text doesn't give us ages or timelines, there could be a number of reasons that the boys didn't marry until after their father's death. The boys may not have been old enough to marry while their father lived, or (and I must admit this was my first thought), they knew that Elimelech would not allow them to marry foreign women. That thought was bolstered by the fact that God did not bless those marriages with children.



However it came about, Naomit found herself with not one, but two daughters-in-law who did not share her faith. We don't know anything of Orpah's or Ruth's lives, what kind of homes they grew up in, but we do know they were raised in a pagan culture.



After Naomi's sons died, she decided to return home, hearing that the Lord was once again blessing the land. She begins the journey with both daughters-in-law, but at some point decides to urge them to return to their mother's houses. (As a side note, I wonder if this is a clue that these were fatherless girls. Why not urge them to return to their father's houses?) I don't understand why Naomi decides mid-journey that the girls shouldn't return with her. Why not decide and settle it before leaving? Perhaps she truly loved them and wanted them with her. This would at least partially explain Ruth's love and devotion for her mother-in-law. Did she begin to think that it would be too difficult for her daughers-in-law once they were back in Judah? Wash she showing her love for them, and sacrificing her own comfort in having them, by encouraging them to return to their own homes?She also had to realize that they would have a hard existence with no man to provide for them. So, for whatever reason, Naomi decides the girls should return to their homes in Moab.



Orpah tearfully agrees, but Ruth pleads with Naomi to allow her to stay with her.

"But Ruth said, 'Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.' And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more." Ruth 1:16-18



What kind of woman was Naomi that she inspired such love and devotion from Ruth? Considering her circumstances, it would have been so easy for her to have been resentful and to keep her daughters-in-law at arms length. After all, they were pagans! They did not know or love the One True God. She could have been angry with her sons for not going back to Judah to find wives. But it would appear that this godly woman loved her daughters-in-law in spite of their differences. She must have made them feel loved and welcomed into the family ~ for even though Orpah did return home, she didn't do it without a lot of tears. And Ruth was willing to leave everything and everyone she knew and follow Naomi to a land she knew nothing about.



Even though later Naomi changes her name to Mara (meaning "Bitter"), and feels like God has dealt harshly with her, there must have been something of the character of God shing through in her to draw Ruth so strongly.



So, as women desiring to live godly lives, what are some lessons we can pull from Ruth Chapter 1?

• Even when things aren't going like *I* plan, I need to trust God's plan. I need to love the people He brings into my life, and not hold them at arms length just because they aren't who I would have chosen. We get to read the end of the story, and know that God had a plan for Ruth to marry into Naomi's family ~ she was to be in the lineage of Christ, but Naomi didn't know that! Yet, she loved Ruth anyway.


• In the same vein, as a mother-in-law (someday!), I need to love my children's spouses. Even if they marry someone I think they should not, I need to accept and love them. I ned to make sure that I am doing what I can to make them feel welcome and a part of the family. My own mother has been a wonderful example of this to me ~ and she has had some difficult in-laws! I need to remember that it may be my response to them, the way that I love them that God will use to draw them to Himself. Even before getting to this stage in my life, I know myself well enough to know that I will only be able to do this within the power of the Holy Spirit.


• As a wife, I need to love my husband's family. It may be likely that Ruth's husband's family was much better than her own, but we do not know that. She may have had a wonderful family, yet she was willing to leave them and take her husband's family as her own. She was willing to leave and cleave. How often I have observed women who are not willing to leave their own family, but expect their husband to practically abandon his family in favor of hers. Now, I am not calling us to abandon our families! But we do need to love our husband's family and be willing to spend time with them. We need to love them as our own ~ and I know that this is not always easy! But I do believe that as wives it is what we are called to. It honors God and it honors our husband.


• I need to think of others and what is best for them beyond what I want, and what would provide the most comfort for me. Naomi apparently wanted her daughters-in-law with her, and yet, in the end decided it was in their best interests for them to return to their own homes. In encouraging them to turn back, she was putting their interests ahead of her own, and showing a trust in God that He would provide for her needs. As a godly woman, I need to do the same.

Is there anything that you picked out of Ruth 1, that I missed? Please share! I would really like for this to be a "group" study. Let's learn along with and from each other! This week, let's read Chapter 2, and I'll post my thoughts next Monday.