Frustration

These last 3 months or so have been a learning experience ~ and not one that I have been particularly joyful about learning. ;-)

For 2 weeks before Ezra was born, I couldn't do any lifting or anything like vacuuming. He had been breech, and although we had gotten him to turn (thanks to the Webster technique!), my midwife didn't want him to turn breech again, so no lifting. Then we ended up with a c-sec. So, no lifting for 6 weeks ~ in addition, I had lost a lot of blood at delivery, so I tire more easily than normal. While I have older boys who are very capable, and willing, they are not home very much. (NOTE: When you have young men with a good work ethic, they are rarely home because people want them to come work for them!)

So, now I can lift. Now I am feeling up to getting something done ~ and there is plenty to be done! Well, now I have a fussy baby. He loves to sleep on me, and during the day will not sleep much if I am not holding him. While he does have happy times, he fusses more than any of our other children did as babies. And, he will cry and cry and cry ~ he won't cry a little and then sleep. He also gets very wild-eyed when he cries, and I just can't stand to let him for very long. So, now that I feel up to getting something done, I sit and hold a fussy baby, or nurse a toddler.

I know I'm desperate for a feeling of accomplishment when my Beloved comes home and I say, "Look honey, I got that corner straightened up." "Look honey, you can see the top of my desk." LOL Sad, but true!

In the midst of this, what am I learning? First off, I haven't trained my children as well as I should have! They are (apparently) blind to toys left out, garbage that hasn't "found" it's way to the garbage can, clothes not taken to the laundry room, etc. My younger children haven't been trained as well as they should because I have had older children who already did things. That needs to change! My older children are not that far away from being gone from home, and I need to get busy training the younger ones ~ they need to learn how to be responsible too.

Secondly ~ and I am *not*advocating letting everything go! But, in reality the housework will still be there tomorrow, it'll probably be there 15 minutes or so after I get it done. My baby will only be a baby for a short time, and the time I invest in my children is time invested in eternity. I may get frustrated now because it seems that all I do is sit and rock and nurse, but someday, much too soon, I will be missing these times. While I need to get done what I can in the short snippets of time I have, I also need to relax and enjoy my baby ~ and toddler! ~ and the rest of the children, some of which aren't really children any more.

Are you a young mama, in the midst of little children? Enjoy them! Love on them, and don't wish this time to go any faster than it is. Our oldest will be 18 in September, and I can't believe it's been that many years since I was rocking him and nursing him to sleep. The time goes so quickly, and it is all too easy to lose sight of that. We yearn for the next thing, and when it comes, we begin to yearn for the next. When will we learn to be content where God has us now?

So, in the midst of frustration, I am learning, and trying to be content ~ difficult with everything that needs to be done, staring me down. Well, I have a tired, grumpy toddler who needs to nurse, so I'm going to go ~ and enjoy him. ;-)