Song of Solomon Devotion #5

"As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the youngmen. With great delight I sat in his shadow and his fruit was sweet to mytaste, he brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Sustain me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am sick with love. Hisleft hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me!" Song of Solomon 2:3-6

Do I praise my lover? Not to others, but to him? Do I let him know how attractive I find him? Do I tell him what pleases me when we’re making love? Now, you may be thinking, “What?! Talk during S-E-X?” or “Talk about ‘it’?” But, how is your lover to know what you find most pleasurable if you won’t tell him? Your husband should be your closest, most intimate friend, and so, you should be able to talk to him about things that are most intimate. God created the sexual relationship to be a wonderful, enjoyable experience between a husband and wife. It is the physical aspect of the ‘one flesh’ mandate in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fastto his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Often, for a variety of reasons, a wife cheats herself of much of the enjoyment in lovemaking. We feel inhibited, because of sexual messages from our society, or our body image, or because of what we ‘think’ God says about sex, or because of past sexual sin. Now though, you are in a marriage relationship, the very place God designed sex for and the very place He intends for you to enjoy yourself. Once again, this is a place where we must renew our thinking. For some it will be a fairly easy process, for others it might take a long time. I have spent about eight years on the journey of renewing my mind about sex. It has not been an easy road. There have been times when it seemed for every step toward God’s ideal, there were two or three steps back. But, my desire has been to become a more godly wife and lover to my husband. As I have communicated this to him and been open about my struggles, he has been able to be supportive, and when necessary, patient with my progress.

As you make love to your husband, and discover what is pleasurable to you, and to him, you also need to praise his skill as a lover. God created men in such away that, for most of them, their feelings of being an adequate man and husband are closely tied to their prowess as a lover. So, lavish praise on him! If you are willing to be open with your husband about lovemaking, and you are willing to praise him as you make love, he will become a better lover. Remember too, that part of your enjoyment should be to make sure that he is getting as much pleasure as he can out of your lovemaking. There are times when I’m particularly tired, or I don’t feel good, or whatever, that lovemaking isn’t #1 on my list of things to do. But, when I get to bed, my Beloved is feeling amorous. At those times it is enough for me to know that I have filled a need for him, while giving him pleasure ~ joyfully. Remember ~ in the bedroom, attitude counts! Your husband knows whether or not your heart’s in it.

Finally, are you lovesick? When we look to the Hebrew, we see that the idea is of being weak and incurable. Do you have a case of incurable love that leaves you weak? If the answer is ‘no’, then why? Don’t look at your husband. Look to yourself. If you are not lovesick, it is because of choices you have made, not because of things your husband has or has not done. Choose today to let go of hurts you may be carrying around. Forgive ~ as often as you need to, and act in a loving way.

Practice the things we’ve already discussed. Think about your husband as your lover throughout the day, praise qualities you know others find admirable, tend to your ‘vineyard’ and in so doing, honor your husband. Listen to him and believe him when he compliments you, and compliment him in return. Create a romantic sanctuary in your bedroom ~ and take advantage of it! Most importantly, pray, pray, pray! Ask God to renew your mind. Ask Him to enable you to fully enjoy lovemaking. Ask Him to let you see your beloved through the eyes of the Father and to love him with the Father’s love. These are prayers God will answer, because they are within His will.

PRAYER
Father God,I am amazed by the beautiful gift of sex. Father, I do want to truly be ‘oneflesh’ with my husband. I pray Father, that You would renew my mind so that I can fully enjoy making love to my husband. Enable me to be open with him. I ask Father, that You would help me to be lovesick for the man You have given me. Amen