Thursday, October 11, 2007

Allowing for Change

In recent conversations I have been a part of (both in real time and online), I have noticed (or re-noticed) the tendancy for us as wives to believe that our husband's are stuck. Especially when we are in a disagreement with them, or at odds over something, our tendancy is to think that "They have always believed this way and they always will."

I submit that not only is this unfair, but it's unrealistic. While it's true that in my frustration, everything becomes absolute, it's also true that my husband is not the same man today that he was 18 years ago when we married. God has changed him dramatically over the years ~ although some sins seem to be more "besetting" than others. Why then, would I assume that he will always be or always think the way he is today? Why wouldn't God continue to change him? He will of course. Just as He continues to change me. As we grow in our walk with the Lord, He changes us, making us further into the image of His Son. He does the same for our husbands.

If today, you are in disagreement with your husband, don't go to the corner of absolutes. Be joyful, submit, and pray and pray. Pray for your attitude, pray for his heart. Trust God to lead you and your family through your husband.

"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." 1Cor. 11:2

If your husband doesn't want you to wear a dress, but you want to be modest, then find a way to be modest in pants. It is possible. Wear colors and styles he finds attractive. Modest can be a wide range of things, but most of all it should be beautiful and feminine. Modest doesn't necessarily mean a jumper or a sack of a dress. You can be attractive and modest.

If your husband wants your daughter to attend college, but is willing to let you homeschool; homeschool joyfully, and give her an academically superior education. Make it as good an experience for her that you can so that someday, when she is blessed with children, she will want to homeschool. Pray for your husband's heart to be softened to allowing your daughter to remain at home, under his protection; but don't fuss or nag at him, let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit. Don't assume that because today he believes she should go to college that in 2 or 5 or 10 years he will feel the same ~ God may turn his ideals on their head!

I could go on and on with examples, but in reality, I don't need to. Unless your husband is outright asking you to sin, determine to be submissive to him, joyfully honor him, and pray that God will strengthen him and draw him ever closer to Himself. We can do wonders within our homes and for our children if we would just do that.

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