Thursday, March 12, 2009

Am I Willing to be Quiet?

Apparently, since I haven't posted in a month, the answer would be yes. :-) Only, that's not what I'm talking about. HA!

We are going through the Love and Respect DVD series right now. This is great! I highly recommend this study. Much of what is taught God has been showing me over the last several years, so as far as my relationship with my husband, nothing dramatic has happened because of this study, although there have been some things that I hadn't given too much thought to before. But. It has given me some new perspective and insight into my sons.

One of the things Dr. Eggerichs (I probably spelled that wrong!) talks about is the difference(s) between men and women. And the difference that I am talking about here is this~ women like to talk; men, not so much. :-) When women are together, they will chatter and carry on a conversation and go into details and rabbit trail and get back to the point, and rabbit trail some more, and loop back to the point, etc. Men will do things together, but not necessarily talk very much. Women like details, men like basics.

Husbands get energized by their wife just being there with them ~ side by side ~ without us talking to them, but just being with them.

This is an area where I do need some work. I always have sooo much to say! ;-) But, I want my Beloved to have his needs met as well, and sometimes that means that I am just willing to sit and watch him while he works on something. If he's working on the van, maybe I just sit and hand him tools as he needs them. Or hand him nails while he's building something. Or whatever, except not talk his ear off.

The other revelation I have had with this whole being quiet is in spending time with my sons. Often when one of them will go to town with me, we don't say much. I might try to carry on a conversation with them, but often I get grunts or one word answers. So we usually have pretty quiet trips. I have always felt like I was failing in some respect because we didn't have deep, meaningful conversations while we were just one on one. But now, I can see that it is not wasted time. That very likely it is a great time for my sons, to just be with me and not have to talk. That those times pave the way for when they are ready to sit and have a conversation ~ and we do have some pretty good conversations ~ just not as often as I would like.

So, let me encourage you today. Take some time, and just sit "shoulder to shoulder" with your man. Let him watch TV, or read, or go sit in the woods with him, or whatever he wants to do. And be willing to do it quietly. You may be blown away by how meaningful it is to him.

1 comment:

Suz said...

Wow, I needed to hear this as I have been hearing the Lord whisper this very message to me lately. I am rather lonely... not a lot of fellowship and I have a lot of exuberance and a lot of words! My dh has been going throuogh a reflective time.. yet I dron on incessantly... I need to be quiet. One of my fav. verses is Isaiah 30:15 In repentence and rest is your salvation; In quietness and trust is your strength... this too tells me to be quiet.... again, thanks for sharing, as it was definately confirmation for me ;)