Lost Post

If you'll scroll down a bit ~ 2 posts, you'll find a new one. It's one I started back in June, and so that is where blogger plugged it in. I don't know how to move it! So, if you'll bear with me, I did post this week, it's just a little lost. :-) The title is: Thoughts on Servanthood.

Frustration

These last 3 months or so have been a learning experience ~ and not one that I have been particularly joyful about learning. ;-)

For 2 weeks before Ezra was born, I couldn't do any lifting or anything like vacuuming. He had been breech, and although we had gotten him to turn (thanks to the Webster technique!), my midwife didn't want him to turn breech again, so no lifting. Then we ended up with a c-sec. So, no lifting for 6 weeks ~ in addition, I had lost a lot of blood at delivery, so I tire more easily than normal. While I have older boys who are very capable, and willing, they are not home very much. (NOTE: When you have young men with a good work ethic, they are rarely home because people want them to come work for them!)

So, now I can lift. Now I am feeling up to getting something done ~ and there is plenty to be done! Well, now I have a fussy baby. He loves to sleep on me, and during the day will not sleep much if I am not holding him. While he does have happy times, he fusses more than any of our other children did as babies. And, he will cry and cry and cry ~ he won't cry a little and then sleep. He also gets very wild-eyed when he cries, and I just can't stand to let him for very long. So, now that I feel up to getting something done, I sit and hold a fussy baby, or nurse a toddler.

I know I'm desperate for a feeling of accomplishment when my Beloved comes home and I say, "Look honey, I got that corner straightened up." "Look honey, you can see the top of my desk." LOL Sad, but true!

In the midst of this, what am I learning? First off, I haven't trained my children as well as I should have! They are (apparently) blind to toys left out, garbage that hasn't "found" it's way to the garbage can, clothes not taken to the laundry room, etc. My younger children haven't been trained as well as they should because I have had older children who already did things. That needs to change! My older children are not that far away from being gone from home, and I need to get busy training the younger ones ~ they need to learn how to be responsible too.

Secondly ~ and I am *not*advocating letting everything go! But, in reality the housework will still be there tomorrow, it'll probably be there 15 minutes or so after I get it done. My baby will only be a baby for a short time, and the time I invest in my children is time invested in eternity. I may get frustrated now because it seems that all I do is sit and rock and nurse, but someday, much too soon, I will be missing these times. While I need to get done what I can in the short snippets of time I have, I also need to relax and enjoy my baby ~ and toddler! ~ and the rest of the children, some of which aren't really children any more.

Are you a young mama, in the midst of little children? Enjoy them! Love on them, and don't wish this time to go any faster than it is. Our oldest will be 18 in September, and I can't believe it's been that many years since I was rocking him and nursing him to sleep. The time goes so quickly, and it is all too easy to lose sight of that. We yearn for the next thing, and when it comes, we begin to yearn for the next. When will we learn to be content where God has us now?

So, in the midst of frustration, I am learning, and trying to be content ~ difficult with everything that needs to be done, staring me down. Well, I have a tired, grumpy toddler who needs to nurse, so I'm going to go ~ and enjoy him. ;-)

I'm Still Here!

Well, it's been a while since I posted, and I apologize. The last months of this pregnancy, and the first weeks of our new son's life, have proven to be challenging for me. I find that as I get older, and have more things going on, I have a harder time collecting my thoughts coherently. In fact, I started a different post for today, but there are so many directions that my mind is going on the topic I've chosen, that I decided I better think on it a bit more. It will probably end up being at least two posts, maybe more.

I am going to try and be more consistent with posting here, but quite honestly, it is difficult with a toddler who is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to not being the baby anymore, and a newborn who needs to eat often. I'm not particularly good at typing one-handed :-), so many times when I would sit down to post, I'm handicapped, so to speak. Even now, Josiah is trying to demand my attention. If you think of it, prayers for him would be appreciated. He adores his new little brother, but with this being a surgical birth, and the added complications that has given this first 6 weeks, this has been a difficult adjustment for him (he's just 2), and he is still working on that adjustment. I am trying to give him *some* leaway, recognizing that he is in transition, while not allowing him to get away with murder ~ which can be a very fine line! But I want to give him room to adjust while not throwing all our training out the window.

I want to thank those of you who have stuck with me, even through this long dry spell. As I said, there are many things I want to talk about and share, but putting the thoughts together through the muddle that is my mind lately has been more than challenging!

May God bless your day.

Thoughts on servanthood

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Philippians 2:5-7

"When He washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed His place, He said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also outght to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you." John 13: 12-15


This past week, in Sunday School,(several weeks ago, now) we were studying the passage in Philippians that I have just referenced. I thought it an interesting tie-in with what I had been hearing on the radio, on Family Life Today. They were talking with Nancy Leigh DeMoss about Biblical womanhood. And they also talked about being a servant. One of the terms they talked about was "doormat". In our culture being a "doormat" has very negative connotations. But what is a doormat? On the program they pointed out that a doormat has a good and specific purpose. What does it do? It wipes the feet. What did Jesus do? John 13 tells us that He washed the feet of His disciples. You can read some thoughts I had a few months ago on being a doormat here .

God created woman to be a servant. "...But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Genesis 2:20b-23

So, what does this look like? Well, a lot of what it looks like depends upon your beloved. The things I do that make me an ideal helpmeet for my Beloved, may be totally different than what your beloved needs. In general, we serve them within the home. We cook, clean, and care for the children ~ which may include homeschooling. Some of us take care of the finances. Some of us take care of the yard, or animals.

The first thing we should do, is to cultivate our relationship with the Lord. If I am going to be servant-hearted, and be willing to put others needs before my own, I need the empowerment of the Holy Spirit! I don't know about you, but I tend to be pretty selfish, and that can make things fairly unpleasant around our house. :-( My desire is to joyfully serve my husband and children, and I can only do that when I am steeped in the Word of God.

Second, we need to be students of our husbands. I need to know him ~ perhaps even better than he knows himself. I want to be able to not just respond to his needs, but to anticipate them. But, to be able to anticipate, I need to know. Otherwise, I'm just guessing. I can read about things that other wives do, but that should just be a starting place for me ~ if I'm struggling. What one man needs, is not necessarily what another man needs. So, I can talk to other wives, or read, or whatever, but I need to know my husband and what his needs are to truely be a helpmeet to him. For example, some men are highly organized and detail oriented, others need their wives to come alongside them and help them plan things out so that they can attain the goals they have. Some men are financial wizards, others are terrible at handling money and need their wives to take care of paying the bills, some may want you to sit down with them and do it together.

Third, I believe we need to extend the grace and freedom to our beloved to let him be who he is. We need to recognize that he is not our Daddy, nor is he our ex, or any other man who influenced our ideas on what men are. This can be difficult! I grew up in a household where we got our own hay in, we went out during the summer and cut wood, etc. My husband often just buys our wood. This drove me batty for a long time ~ we should be doing this ourselves! However, my Beloved has worked 2 and 3 jobs for the majority of our married life. He just does not have the time to go out and scout for wood, get it cut, brought home, stacked, etc. It took me a long time, but I finally learned that he was providing for us just as well as my Dad did, just in a different way. It can be difficult too, if we have had damaging relationships with men. Sometimes we will attribute those negative qualities of an ex or bad Dad to our beloved, always expecting the worst from him.

And finally, one of the most important ways we can serve our husband is to daily lift him before the Throne of Grace. What greater way to look after his needs, than to petition Almighty God on his behalf? As we daily lift our beloved before the Lord, I believe that He will also give us wisdom in how best to meet his needs, and we too, will benefit in our role as helpmeet to our husband.

Our Newest Blessing

Announcing the arrival of Ezra Alan Dole!

Ezra was born on Sunday, May 11, Mother's Day. He weighed 8lb 14oz, and was 20 1/4 inches long. My water broke early Saturday morning. After beginning to get the tub out and filled, we called our midwife, Terry, and my dear friend, Julianne, who had agreed to come and be our "doula". We called Grammie, because we had asked her to be here for the birth. And then we began to wait.

We fully expected to have a baby by 10 or 11 in the morning, from my previous births where my water had broken, but I was not actively laboring. And we waited, and waited... I nursed Josiah off and on throughout the day, hoping that that would get labor going; and we waited. We visited, we warmed up the water in the birthing pool when it would get too cool, and we waited. At one point, Mike realized that he had left the water on *far* too long, and when I got upstairs, the birthing pool was full to overflowing, with water beginning to run under the bed! Thankfully, we had a lot of towels on the floor in preparation for following the birth, and so, we didn't have too big of a mess. I was just thankful there wasn't water coming down the stairs when I got to the bottom of them! And we continued to wait. In the afternoon, Grammie finally went home. The girls went with her.

Evening came and we played a couple of rousing games of Apples to Apples. We were up pretty late, but we had fun! At about 12:30, we finally went to bed. I woke up about 3am, and thought I felt like maybe things were going to get going ~ finally! And still we waited. Mike fixed scambled eggs and toast, but I couldn't eat very much, I just didn't feel real well. My emotions were beginning to get the better of me. The only other birth that my membranes spontaneously ruptured before labor began was Tucker's. I had been fine the day before, but now we were onto Sunday, and Tucker was born on a Sunday ~ and for some reason, labor wasn't happening. I felt like God was asking, "Do you trust me?" My answer was, "Yes." However, Tucker's birth weighed on my mind.

Terry decided we should try herbs for a couple of hours, and if that didn't get labor going, it wasn't going to. So, for the next 2 hours, every 15 minutes, I received a lovely little cocktail of labor herbs. And we waited. When the herbs didn't work, we had to decide whether or not to transport to the hospital. We didn't have any signs of infection, baby's heart rate was good; but if we waited until any of that changed, we would be left without options when we did get to the hospital. Mike decided to transport. He called Dr. Stamm, and asked if he would make arrangements for us at Deaconess.

As we left for the hospital, I was extremely emotional. I knew that God was allowing all of this for a reason, but not *knowing* the reason left me an emotional wreck. Was there something wrong with the baby? When we got into Spokane, Mike called the hospital, and they told him they were expecting us. When we got to Deaconess, Dr. Stamm was there at the nurses station, awaiting our arrival.

Once we were settled into our room, Dr. Stamm came in and informed us that because of the amount of time since my water had ruptured, that I was considered high risk. They would run a couple of courses of antibiotics, just to be on the safe side, and then they would start a pitocin drip. So, once again we waited.

Julianne had called Brian, and told him that we were heading to the hospital, and unbeknownst to her, he called some folks at their church, and headed out for Spokane as well. Their church had planned a special time during their service for Brian, as his birthday had been that week, and yet, they very generously encouraged him to go to Spokane and be there to support us. What a blessing that was for us! We were also surprised (and thankful!) to see our own dear pastor walk in through the door not long after we arrived at the hospital. What a blessing to know and fellowship with not only one, but two congregations willing to give up their pastor on a Sunday morning!

After they started the pitocin, we began to contemplate an epidural. I have never been the least bit interested in an epidural ~ needles, spines...I'm just too squimish for that! However, I have had pitocin births before, and knowing that I wouldn't be able to do much in the way of naturally relieving the pain, I decided this time it *might* be an option. We thoroughly questioned one of our dr.s, and then we thoroughly questioned our labor nurse. Then I consulted with Mike, Terry, and Julianne. In the end, we decided to go for the epidural. What a strange experience! To be having strong contractions, and not be feeling them! I did have some problems with the lower right part of my belly not staying numb, but other than that, it was not a bad experience.

Finally, at about 6 or 6:30 in the evening, I was ready to push! Soon I would be holding my new son, and I was ready! And so, with a room full of drs and nurses (not the lovely quiet homebirth I was planning!), I began to push. And push...and push. For at least 2 1/2 hours, in pretty much ever imaginable position, I pushed. But our son would not come down. He was stuck at 0 station ~ and I was exhausted. We began to talk about different options. Forceps delivery, cesarean. We pretty much rejected forceps out of hand. We figured if we didn't know why he wasn't coming down, forceps could be dangerous. As scary as a c-section was to me, forceps were scarier. The drs said they would give me another 15-30 minutes of laboring before we *had* to make a decision. I felt like if I had to labor another 15 minutes, I would die. We decided to go ahead with a c-section. And I cried. I was scared, but I knew we had to do it to get our son safely into our arms.

They got Mike some scrubs ~ he looked adorable! And they took me to the OR. They "topped off" the epidural, and when everything was ready, they began to cut. And, "OW, OW, OW!!!"

"You can feel that?" "YES!" The surgeon wanted to go ahead with the epidural (letting me get numb), but the anethesiologist wasn't comfortable with it, so they knocked me clear out. Which meant Mike couldn't be there when the baby was delivered. They had told him that they would deliver the baby, and then it would be just 10 or 15 minutes before I would be out. After half an hour, Mike left Julianne with Ezra in the nursery, and came back to the operating room. I had begun hemorraging, and they really had to work to get my uterus to work like it was supposed to. They did special stitches in it, and all in all, I was in surgery for an hour after they delivered Ezra. We are thankful that although I lost about double the amount of blood they would expect, they did not have to give me a transfusion.

So, at 9:34 pm on Sunday evening, our sweet little boy entered into the world. We praise God for the evidences of His Hand all through this labor and delivery. The dr. said that it was "fortuitous" that I had to have general anethesia for surgery. We know that it was providential.

I am in for a long recovery because of all the different factors involved in this birth, but I am thankful to have a healthy baby to hold while recovering. Mike is thankful I am around *to* recover. That may sound extreme, but having to have a surgical delivery, and then for things to take so much longer than what he had been told ~ he was truely scared of losing me.

Here are a few pictures of our newest darling.

A relieved and thankful Daddy getting aquainted with his newest son. Julianne looks on.

A tired and thankful Mama loves on her sleepy baby.

Prideful or Humble?

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

As I was reading in Proverbs this morning, I was struck by how beautifully this particular proverb ties in with the New Testament commands for wives to submit. If we have a humble spirit, submitting will be a much easier task than if we are prideful. Pride leads to feelings of entitlement, which leads to resisting submission. If I am prideful, I am going to be concerned with *my* right to be heard, *my* ability to make intelligent decisions, *my* right to do what I see fit. Why should *I* have to do what my husband wants, or abide by his decisions?

A prideful spirit is self-focused while a humble spirit focuses first on the Lord, and then on others. In a marriage, pride does bring destruction, we see it around us every day. Perhaps this is one reason why divorce is as prevalent within the church as it is without. We are not taught to think beyond ourselves, and it's killing our marriages and our families.

So much of the church is structured around "individual" needs, that it promotes pride. We have special programs for everyone ~ are you single? Do you have toddlers? Are you a "youth"? Instead of feeding and discipling and encouraging humble service, our churches perpetuate a prideful, "What can you do for me?" attitude within their congregations.

It is time for Christian men and women to lay down their pride and to pick up the humble, multi-generational vision that we find in Scripture. If we would do that, we would see reformation and revival ~ within the church, yes. But more importantly, we would see reformation and revival within families and marriages.

The Taming of the Tongue

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

What a wonderful nugget of wisdom for wives wanting to grow in godliness! We would improve our "serve", so to speak, by leaps and bounds if we could just keep this one proverb in the front of our minds and put it into practice!

I know that far too often, I let my tongue loose before I think, and my response to my Beloved is harsh. Many times I'm not even "responding" to him, but out of the circumstances I find myself in ~ I just take it out on him. It grieves my heart to think of the number of arguments I have started just because I didn't take the time to think and to give a "soft" answer. Sometimes my harsh answer doesn't actually start an argument, but it does stir up my Beloved's anger.

James tells us that, "no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." (Jas. 3:8) The good news, sisters, is that we don't have to rely upon ourselves to tame our tongue! We have the enabling of the of the Holy Spirit to accomplish this overwhelming task.

God calls us to live in a deliberate way. To measure our steps; to count the cost. It's not easy. I find that most days I walk in a reactionary rather than deliberate way. Instead of thinking through my words and actions, I walk through my day "reacting" to the circumstances around me. Which in turn causes me to be contentious with those around me ~ whether it be my husband or my children.

I believe that as we rely on the Lord and strive toward godly living, we will see changes ~ in a formulaic way (as in: If I do A and B the result will be C), however often God does honor our efforts to honor and glorify Him. Whether or not our children improve in their behaviors or our husband becomes easier to live with, or a more godly leader is not what is important. What we will see is a change in us. As we live to glorify God, He will mold us further into the image of His dear Son. And that's truely what it's all about.