Thursday, January 25, 2007

A Trusting Heart

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:10-12 ESV

Wow. What powerful words. What God-fearing woman could read these words and not desire that for her marriage? To be more precious than jewels. For her husband's heart to trust in her, to do him good all the days of his life.

But what does it look like? Who is this woman? How can I be her? What does a wife do to merit this kind of trust? When I read "the heart of her husband..." I think of a deep, abiding trust ~ heartfelt. What do I do to build that in my relationship with my Beloved? Well, I am open about everything.

When I spend money, even if I think he might not be happy about it, I tell him. I have heard of and known women who will buy things and then hide them for a month or more, so that when they finally bring it out, and their husband asks if it's new, they can say, "Oh no, I've had this for a while." Is that trustworthy? I also try to be responsible and thrifty in how I spend the money that he works so hard for. I don't always succeed, but I do try. This goes deeper than just being trustworthy, it also shows him love and honor for his efforts in providing for his family.

I do my best to be diligent in the schooling and training of our children while he is at work. I work at keeping the house orderly (this is an ongoing struggle for me!), and while I fail often in this task, I am getting better and have greatly improved since we were first married. I make tasty meals for him. Lately I have been making the effort of spending time with him when he gets home from work, so he can talk to me and *decompress* so to speak.

When he shares a struggle with me, or he fails in some way, I don't go about telling everyone I see. I make every effort to speak of him in a loving and respectful manner at all times. I find myself cringing often at the way some women speak of their husbands, and I wonder if he were to hear her if he would feel that he could trust her with his deepest thoughts, feelings, and struggles. I endeavor to be encouraging to him when he expresses doubts or fears, and often I will take his hand and pray for him. What encouragement to him that is! And because I don't belittle him, but build him up (genuinely, I'm not talking about empty flattery), I am also building his trust in me.

It grieves me the number of years that I didn't build trust. That I did do him harm and not good. "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." Well, I've already failed that terribly, but I can resolve that for the rest of the days of my life, I will do him good. How much better would the marriages in the church be if the wives would just decide that they would put these three short verses into practice? How many men would gladly step into the role of leader, protector, and sacrificial lover if he could so implicitly trust his bride?

1 comment:

The Primer Family said...

hi dear, just catching up on my quality reading list! I enjoy your writing, and pray along with you, that God will glorify himself through you.
Love ya
Julianne