"On my bed by night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not. I will rise now and go about the city, in the streets and in the squares; I will seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him, but found him not. The watchmen found me as they went about in the city. 'Have you seen him whom my soul loves?' The Song of Solomon 3:1-3 ESV
The one whom my soul loves is gone this week. If he wasn't half way across the country, I would be tempted to be like Solomon's bride, and search him out. I know that many, many military families go through this on a fairly regular basis, so please don't see this as a complaint. However, I'm not used to being apart from my Beloved. I can feel the longing in this passage. The one whom her soul loves is missing, and she is unsettled, empty, and driven to find him. So much so that she is willing to risk danger and possible disgrace to find him. When I went to bed last night, I found myself wishing that I could just roll over and find myself in my lover's arms, but I could not. If I could have searched him out and found him, I would have done it.
When did that happen? Several years ago, I left him twice to go on mission trips, each 3 weeks. I missed him, but really didn't think anything of leaving him for that amount of time. As I lay, running my fingers through his hair, watching him sleep the night before he left, I couldn't even imagine what my week would be like without him, and I found myself praising God for bringing such a change in our marriage. We loved each other then, but now, now we are much more one.
"Scarcely had I passed them when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her who conceived me." Song of Solomon 3:4 ESV
Friday he returns! I can't wait! When I find the one whom my soul loves, I will hold him and not let him go! I cannot wait until my Beloved returns from this business trip, and I can show him how much he has been missed, how much he is needed at home. I have been making an effort to make each day's homecoming something for him to look forward to, but I hope that this Friday and the following weekend will be so wonderful that he won't ever want to leave home again!
What am I going to do? Not sure yet, as I figure it out, I'll post. So stay tuned!
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2 comments:
Tracy- Thank you so much for this post. My Beloved will be gone all next week. I always yearn for him when he is gone. It makes me realize how much I he is unappreciated when he is home. I need to remember this more often.
I am wondering though. Besides the Lord what else can you or do you think that helped bring your marriage to where it is today?
Hmmm. It was all the Lord. When I went on those mission trips, God began to stretch and challenge me in many areas. It was the *genesis*, so to speak of the journey I am now on. My heart was turned toward home, and over the last 9 or 10 years, I have desired more and more to know what it is to be a godly wife. I have read books, listened to tapes, read articles ~ almost anything I can get my hands on! God has so honored my feeble attempts, and desire by drawing my Beloved and myself closer and closer. One of the things we have done (hmmm...maybe I'll have to post this to the blog), is to read marriage books together. We have seen tremendous growth in our marriage when we have done that.
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